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    Feeling isolated, broke, and chaos within the family? You’re not alone!

    Autism Island: 

    Autism Island
    Autism Island, families feel like they are on an isolated island.

    Welcome to Autism Island! Feeling like you’re stranded here? Don’t worry, you’re in good company. It’s a place of isolation, occasional chaos, and surprise financial storms. But hey, we’ve got humor and camaraderie to navigate these turbulent seas of parenting a child with autism.

    Navigating the Island of Isolation:

    Sunday after church visits from friends!
    Sundays after church, time with friends and silly string!

    Ever had that moment when your child plays solo with no friends in sight? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Back in the day, I had these superhero friends who’d drop by after church. Kids played, and Jacob did his solo thing. Fond memories, but boy, do I get the isolation part.

    Now that all the kids are grown, there’s no one coming over after church to eat lunch and hang out. Going out with our friends are tag team matches between my husband and I.

    A Night on the Town? Easier Said Than Done:

    Smiles_family_fun
    Pic’s of the family over the years during summer!

    Thinking of a night out with friends or a family trip? Sounds easy, right? Well, toss autism into the mix, and it’s like embarking on a complex mission. New places, new routines – it’s practically a city of anxiety. And family gatherings? More like family stress-fests, with constant mental scanning for potential meltdowns or hidden dangers.

    Financial Rollercoaster:

    Financial Worries!
    Financial Worries!

    Now, here’s the sneaky monster – the cost. Therapies, treatments, some not even approved. Insurance? Nope, they just shrugged and left us drowning in bills. I still remember that bloodwork bill that could’ve bought a small car. We couldn’t afford it. Thank heavens for family pitching in!

    P.S. Insurance only covered speech therapy initially, and even that had co-pays. The struggle was real.

    Sharing the Load:

    Ever felt guilty about turning down invites? Let’s stop that nonsense! You’re not alone in the tag-team hustle with your partner. I mean, who wouldn’t love to hit the movies or kick back? But if it’s just not feasible, it’s not. We’ve all been there. Set some boundaries, drop that guilt, and grab a good book, run a soothing bath, or rent a hilarious comedy. You deserve it!

    Beach Trips and “Me” Monsters:
    Family Vacation!
    Family Vacation!

    Family vacations? Sure, we’ve done those. But it’s no leisurely stroll on the beach; it’s more like a 2.5-hour “Are we there yet?” chorus. And when you finally hit the sand, brace yourself for the inflatable alligator incident. Yep, the life of an autism parent is a unique adventure. Ask Granny Jane; she’ll regale you with tales of the inflatable alligator incident. Jake didn’t have one the first year, but guess who got him one the second year?

    The Support Dilemma:

    Respite care – sounds fantastic, right? Well, finding someone you trust, who truly understands your child’s unique needs, is like hunting for treasure. Autistic kids can’t always spill the beans on what happens when you’re not around. The fear of mistreatment is a real concern. Good workers are like hidden gems, and trust is hard-won. We even added cameras at home to ease our minds and check in on Jacob.

    The Uncharted Territory of Autism Parenting:

    So, here I am, in a season where most parents are battling empty nest syndrome. Not me, and guess what? I’m absolutely fine with it. My child needs me. Leaving him alone all day isn’t safe, even though he probably won’t set the house on fire. But you see, he can’t tell friends from foes.

    To all my fellow autism navigators, let’s embrace the chaos, share a laugh about those “me” monsters, and remember, you’re not alone. We’re all on this wild, unpredictable autism island together. We’ll weather the storms and cheer for the small victories. If you need help with schedules check out this post: https://educatingjacob.com/how-using-schedules-can-change-your-childs-life/ Keep sailing, my friends! 🌊⚓🏝️

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    How I added games to my son Jacob’s schedule to promote socialization.

    Embrace differences
    Be kind, reach out and embrace differences!

    How I Turned My Son Jacob into a Social Butterfly (Well, Sort of)

    Hey there, fellow schedule enthusiasts! You know, parents and teachers who use schedules are basically the superheroes of time management. 🦸‍♂️ They keep everyone on the same page, and for folks like me, they help avoid meltdowns that could rival a volcano eruption. More info: https://educatingjacob.com/beyond-the-chaos-scheduling-101-class-for-special-needs-children/

    You see, I use schedules because of my son Jacob’s autism. His daily routines and his ability to follow a schedule give him a sense of security, confidence, and a lot less anxiety about the rollercoaster of life. But recently, I decided it was time to add a little sprinkle of socialization to Jacob’s schedule.

    Now, let me give you the inside scoop on my secret weapon: games. Yes, games, folks! I decided to sneak some fun into his routine, and let me tell you, it’s been an adventure.

    Game Time, Jacob Style

    Games for socialization!
    Games for socialization!

    So, here’s the deal. Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, tends to be a lone wolf when it comes to socializing. He wants us around, but he’s not exactly hosting tea parties or neighborhood BBQs.

    Occasionally, I decided to spice things up by putting a game, like Word Search, on his schedule. Now, let me be clear, he LOVES word searches. Seriously, he’s like a word-hunting ninja. He even has them as part of his schoolwork and other worksheets.

    But, here’s the kicker – he always beats me. It’s like playing chess with a grandmaster. 😅 So, technically, it’s socialization, but it’s more like a friendly competition. He tolerates playing with me because it’s on his schedule, and he enjoys a good word hunt.

    Using his need for structure and routines, I can easily switch things up. If there’s a holiday on the horizon, we talk about it ahead of time. He can see it on the calendar and his schedule, and it helps him mentally prepare for the change.

    Countdowns and Excitement

    Now, one thing that gets Jacob excited is when he knows something different is happening. For instance, when his brother is coming into town, he’s over the moon. He counts down the days on his schedule, and trust me, it’s adorable.

    You see, schedules aren’t just about keeping order; they’re about building excitement and helping him accept changes in our family’s routine. It’s like his own personal calendar of awesome events.

    Games for Social Skills

    Games to increase socialization skills
    Increase socialization skills with games!

    Now, in school, teachers do something similar for the students. They dangle the game carrot at the end of a work stick, and it works like a charm. The kids know that if they complete their tasks, they get to dive into some game time.

    Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, adores games. And while he might not win “Most Talkative” at school, he sure knows how to play a mean game of Connect Four. Here are some ideas for summer: https://educatingjacob.com/a-summer-schedule-for-my-child-who-has-autism/

    These games aren’t just fun; they’re stealthily teaching social skills. He might not always jump at the opportunity to socialize, but since it’s part of his schedule, he goes along with it. It’s a win-win, my friends.

    So, if you’re navigating the unpredictable waters of autism like me, consider adding some game time to your child’s schedule. You might not turn them into a social butterfly overnight, but you’ll definitely make socializing a part of their daily routine. And hey, who knows, maybe they’ll even let you win at Word Search. 🕵️‍♀️

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    Empowering Special Needs Children with Self-Care Skills: Our Inspiring Journey

    Self-Care for Special Needs
    For Jacob pictures in schedules were a game changer!

    Our Story: A Tale of Triumph over Autism’s Language Labyrinth

    Meet Jacob, our fiercely independent son who, thanks to his autism, had a unique way of getting his point across. Instead of words, he’d take us by the hand and lead us to what he wanted. At first, we were told, “Boys develop speech later,” but as time passed, we learned it wasn’t that simple.

    These additional signs, such as being solitary, hand flapping when excited, and specific preferences for clothing and food, were further indications of Jacob’s unique needs and characteristics.

    Early Signs and Diagnosis

    Keep calm!

    Jacob’s first language was independence. He’d approach us when he needed something, but conversation? Not his forte. Ear infections added to the puzzle – after all, it’s hard to talk when you can’t hear. Then, the revelation: autism. Suddenly, language became an intricate maze for our little Jacob.

    Jacob’s speech therapy was eventually approved, but the wait lasted for six long months before a spot opened up. When it finally did, the therapist was exceptional. She recognized things that I had overlooked and strongly suggested that I take Jacob to TEACCH for evaluation and additional insights into why speech was still eluding him.

    Seeking Help and Support

    Our journey to empower Jacob began with an autism diagnosis from a TEACCH psychiatrist (yes, they’re real-life superheroes). They offered priceless advice: join every waiting list, apply for every service, and sift through the options later. It was a waiting game, but oh, the wisdom!

    After much consideration, we decided to accept the services that would involve workers coming to our house and even taking Jacob out into the community. This approach was aimed at helping him generalize skills and become an integrated part of both our family and the community. It was a challenging path, as it took five long years on a waiting list, and there were numerous adjustments for Jake and the entire family. However, the results were incredibly rewarding.

    Working together as a team, we utilized various supports and schedules to aid Jacob in learning and managing his self-care routines. This collective effort empowered him to become more independent over time.

    The Power of Visual Schedules

    Jacob with laundry, dishes and movies when chores are done.
    Chores and movie when complete!

    Now, picture this: I, a non-teacher, tasked with creating boxes of coins and schedules. Initially baffled, I wondered if we were training a tiny bank teller. Yet, I stuck with it. Our home soon resembled a museum of pictures, schedules, and how-to guides. Words were too much for Jacob; he needed visuals to navigate life’s map.

    Following Jacob’s diagnosis, I made a significant life change. I returned to school, left my job, and set out on a new career path: becoming a Special Education teacher. My driving force was the strong desire to not only assist my son but also other mothers who found themselves in a similar situation, feeling clueless about how to support their children.

    During my time in school, while still juggling work commitments, I made the life-altering decision to homeschool Jacob. The details of that adventure are a story for another day, but I can proudly say that it was a success!

    The Transformation
    Smiles_family_fun
    Pic’s of the family over the years during summer!

    And here came the transformation. Our house became a non-verbal wonderland, complete with sign language. Sign language, you say? Wasn’t that a no-no for speech development? Not for us. Sign language became our bridge to speech, a magical catalyst. Jacob began speaking when he saw and used signs, proving that sometimes more communication tools are better.

    Collaboration and Progress

    Navigating the web, we found TEACCH and Do2Learn, our autism knowledge goldmines. Therapists and professionals became our partners, sharing victories and tips to help Jacob progress. Teamwork made the dream work. Need more help with schedules see this previous post:“How To Create A Personalized Schedule For Children With Autism”

    https://educatingjacob.com/blog/page/4/

    In parting, I’ll share a simple yet powerful strategy: visual sequences. For instance, laminating a card with toothbrushing steps, placed by the sink, is a game-changer. Less talk, more action! These strategies not only transform your child’s life but also bring smiles and happiness to the whole family. Here is link for the web site mentioned that will help with the pictures. https://do2learn.com/picturecards/printcards/activities_everyday.htm

    The information on TEACCH is: https://teacch.com/

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    5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    Parenting often feels like a circus act, a precarious balancing act while juggling flaming torches. This act becomes even more challenging when you’re raising a special needs child who has an uncanny talent for tap-dancing on your last nerve. But fear not, you’re not alone under the big top of parenthood.

    Finding Humor in the Chaos

    Imagine this: Jacob, my son, is in the throes of an emotional meltdown, and I’m teetering on the brink of my own emotional precipice. His emotions are performing gymnastic feats while I struggle not to stumble over my own emotional shoelaces.

    #parentingtip
    Help them find their calm.

    Time-Out for Both

    While you might want to resort to shouting, I’ve stumbled upon a magical secret. Instead of adding my own vocal fireworks to the spectacle, I calmly send him to his room. And guess where I head? You guessed it—my own. It becomes my sanctuary, a place to contemplate the mysteries of life, such as the curious case of vanishing socks.

    A Magical Secret

    But here’s the remarkable part, folks: once I’ve rediscovered my own sense of calm, I return as the superhero of redirection. Armed with his trusty schedule, I make adjustments like a maestro conducting a symphony of serenity.

    When I return home after being out on errands or work, it’s a transition.

    When I return home from the day’s adventures, Jacob’s radar is on high alert. He emerges from his room, Kindle in hand, armed with a repertoire of movie quotes that could rival Shakespeare. My husband and co-pilot on this rollercoaster ride, informs me that Jacob has been content and industrious in my absence. Yet, of course, he eagerly awaits my attention.

    Instead of plunging into a sea of chores, I dedicate precious moments to indulging Jacob’s cinematic enthusiasm. We trade lines and anecdotes as if we’re strolling down a Hollywood red carpet, not the doorway of our modest abode.

    Children with autism often march to their own drum.
    Children with autism often march to their own drum

    Children with autism often march to their own drum, which can resemble a rock concert when emotions take center stage. This is where a well-structured plan for the day, akin to a symphony score, comes into play. Without it, navigating transitions becomes as challenging as corralling a group of hyperactive squirrels. Need help with schedules see this post: https://educatingjacob.com/how-using-schedules-can-change-your-childs-life/

    Set up for Success

    We need our own toolkits of tranquility. Buckle up as we embark on a journey to discover five ways to regain parental calm amidst the whirlwind of special needs parenting. Trust me; we’ve got this!

    So when your child is dancing on that last nerve, try the following:

    1. The Gratitude Journal Getaway

    Seek solace in your room and wield the written word to restore your peace. Grab your gratitude journal, not just a book, but a portal to a tranquil realm.

    With each pen stroke, you immortalize moments, victories, and triumphs. Chronicle battles conquered, heartaches soothed, and small wins that might vanish amidst the daily chaos.

    These gratitude strokes are your lifeline, offering respite. They’re tangible proof of your resilience, a map guiding you back to your journey’s heart. Amidst the whirlwind, you’ll find you’ve traveled far.

    Take a break
    #takeabreak
    1. The Bath-time Escape

    When the pressure mounts, take refuge in your fortress of relaxation: the bathtub. Sometimes, nothing beats a warm bath, accompanied by red wine and soothing candles. Add a bath bomb, some softly flickering candles, and an audiobook to soak away the stress.

    1. Movie Magic

    Escape into the world of comedy or action. Whether it’s classic romantic comedies like “While You Were Sleeping” or thrilling action-packed Marvel movies, losing yourself in a film can be the perfect distraction. It’s a chance to unwind and recharge.

    #SmallActsOfCalm #SpecialLove
    Sometimes just a hug and redirection will calm strong emotions.
    1. Reading Retreat

    Delve into the world of books. Whether you’re into the page-turning suspense of James Patterson or the humor of Janet Evanovich, a good book can transport you to another realm. For those seeking solace in faith, find strength and comfort in the Psalms and Proverbs.

    make exercise more fun!
    Use exercise to reset and calm. Don’t forget to make it fun!
    1. The Great Escape

    Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. My husband opts for exercise, while I find solace in a trip to the grocery store or sharing tea with my best friend. A brief outing can work wonders, allowing you to return to your child with renewed patience and perspective.

    You can’t take care of others without first taking care of yourself.

    Remember, in the chaos of parenting a special needs child, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. These five escapes can help you regain your calm, ensuring you have the emotional reserves to support your child effectively.

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