Feeling isolated, broke, and chaos within the family? You’re not alone!

November 23, 2023
1 Comment
by Melissa

Autism Island:

Welcome to Autism Island! Feeling like you’re stranded here? Don’t worry, you’re in good company. It’s a place of isolation, occasional chaos, and surprise financial storms. But hey, we’ve got humor and camaraderie to navigate these turbulent seas of parenting a child with autism.

Navigating the Island of Isolation:

Sunday after church visits from friends! — Sundays after church, time with friends and silly string!

Ever had that moment when your child plays solo with no friends in sight? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Back in the day, I had these superhero friends who’d drop by after church. Kids played, and Jacob did his solo thing. Fond memories, but boy, do I get the isolation part.

Now that all the kids are grown, there’s no one coming over after church to eat lunch and hang out. Going out with our friends are tag team matches between my husband and I.

A Night on the Town? Easier Said Than Done:

Smiles_family_fun — Pic’s of the family over the years during summer!

Thinking of a night out with friends or a family trip? Sounds easy, right? Well, toss autism into the mix, and it’s like embarking on a complex mission. New places, new routines – it’s practically a city of anxiety. And family gatherings? More like family stress-fests, with constant mental scanning for potential meltdowns or hidden dangers.

Financial Rollercoaster:

Now, here’s the sneaky monster – the cost. Therapies, treatments, some not even approved. Insurance? Nope, they just shrugged and left us drowning in bills. I still remember that bloodwork bill that could’ve bought a small car. We couldn’t afford it. Thank heavens for family pitching in!

P.S. Insurance only covered speech therapy initially, and even that had co-pays. The struggle was real.

Sharing the Load:

Ever felt guilty about turning down invites? Let’s stop that nonsense! You’re not alone in the tag-team hustle with your partner. I mean, who wouldn’t love to hit the movies or kick back? But if it’s just not feasible, it’s not. We’ve all been there. Set some boundaries, drop that guilt, and grab a good book, run a soothing bath, or rent a hilarious comedy. You deserve it!

Beach Trips and “Me” Monsters:

Family vacations? Sure, we’ve done those. But it’s no leisurely stroll on the beach; it’s more like a 2.5-hour “Are we there yet?” chorus. And when you finally hit the sand, brace yourself for the inflatable alligator incident. Yep, the life of an autism parent is a unique adventure. Ask Granny Jane; she’ll regale you with tales of the inflatable alligator incident. Jake didn’t have one the first year, but guess who got him one the second year?

The Support Dilemma:

Respite care – sounds fantastic, right? Well, finding someone you trust, who truly understands your child’s unique needs, is like hunting for treasure. Autistic kids can’t always spill the beans on what happens when you’re not around. The fear of mistreatment is a real concern. Good workers are like hidden gems, and trust is hard-won. We even added cameras at home to ease our minds and check in on Jacob.

The Uncharted Territory of Autism Parenting:

So, here I am, in a season where most parents are battling empty nest syndrome. Not me, and guess what? I’m absolutely fine with it. My child needs me. Leaving him alone all day isn’t safe, even though he probably won’t set the house on fire. But you see, he can’t tell friends from foes.

To all my fellow autism navigators, let’s embrace the chaos, share a laugh about those “me” monsters, and remember, you’re not alone. We’re all on this wild, unpredictable autism island together. We’ll weather the storms and cheer for the small victories. If you need help with schedules check out this post: https://educatingjacob.com/how-using-schedules-can-change-your-childs-life/ Keep sailing, my friends! 🌊⚓🏝️

How I Turned My Son Jacob into a Social Butterfly (Well, Sort of)

Hey there, fellow schedule enthusiasts! You know, parents and teachers who use schedules are basically the superheroes of time management. 🦸‍♂️ They keep everyone on the same page, and for folks like me, they help avoid meltdowns that could rival a volcano eruption. More info: https://educatingjacob.com/beyond-the-chaos-scheduling-101-class-for-special-needs-children/

You see, I use schedules because of my son Jacob’s autism. His daily routines and his ability to follow a schedule give him a sense of security, confidence, and a lot less anxiety about the rollercoaster of life. But recently, I decided it was time to add a little sprinkle of socialization to Jacob’s schedule.

Now, let me give you the inside scoop on my secret weapon: games. Yes, games, folks! I decided to sneak some fun into his routine, and let me tell you, it’s been an adventure.

Game Time, Jacob Style

Games for socialization!

So, here’s the deal. Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, tends to be a lone wolf when it comes to socializing. He wants us around, but he’s not exactly hosting tea parties or neighborhood BBQs.

Occasionally, I decided to spice things up by putting a game, like Word Search, on his schedule. Now, let me be clear, he LOVES word searches. Seriously, he’s like a word-hunting ninja. He even has them as part of his schoolwork and other worksheets.

But, here’s the kicker – he always beats me. It’s like playing chess with a grandmaster. 😅 So, technically, it’s socialization, but it’s more like a friendly competition. He tolerates playing with me because it’s on his schedule, and he enjoys a good word hunt.

Using his need for structure and routines, I can easily switch things up. If there’s a holiday on the horizon, we talk about it ahead of time. He can see it on the calendar and his schedule, and it helps him mentally prepare for the change.

Countdowns and Excitement

Now, one thing that gets Jacob excited is when he knows something different is happening. For instance, when his brother is coming into town, he’s over the moon. He counts down the days on his schedule, and trust me, it’s adorable.

You see, schedules aren’t just about keeping order; they’re about building excitement and helping him accept changes in our family’s routine. It’s like his own personal calendar of awesome events.

Games for Social Skills

Increase socialization skills with games!

Now, in school, teachers do something similar for the students. They dangle the game carrot at the end of a work stick, and it works like a charm. The kids know that if they complete their tasks, they get to dive into some game time.

Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, adores games. And while he might not win “Most Talkative” at school, he sure knows how to play a mean game of Connect Four. Here are some ideas for summer: https://educatingjacob.com/a-summer-schedule-for-my-child-who-has-autism/

These games aren’t just fun; they’re stealthily teaching social skills. He might not always jump at the opportunity to socialize, but since it’s part of his schedule, he goes along with it. It’s a win-win, my friends.

So, if you’re navigating the unpredictable waters of autism like me, consider adding some game time to your child’s schedule. You might not turn them into a social butterfly overnight, but you’ll definitely make socializing a part of their daily routine. And hey, who knows, maybe they’ll even let you win at Word Search. 🕵️‍♀️

Educating Jacob

Autism parenting