Stop Getting into Battles with Your Autistic Child🛑

As an autism parent, using redirection for your autistic child can save the day. I know firsthand how hard it can be to keep your cool when things aren’t going smoothly. This morning was one of those moments for me. Jacob was having a rough time, and I had to make a choice: engage in a battle of emotions, or try something different to turn things around. I chose the latter.

I’ve spoken before about how my husband and Jacob’s brother are great at redirecting him using music or movie quotes (they love doing voices of his favorite characters!). My strength, though, is a bit different. I may not know if Jacob has a headache or if sensory overload is making things worse, but I’ve learned to take a deep breath, shift his focus, and remind him of something good that’s coming up in his day. How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.

When the frustration is building, the key is not to react negatively—even when emotions run high. If I lose my cool, Jacob’s emotions will escalate, and we’ll both be in for a bad day. Remember, there’s a lot going on beneath the surface. It could be sensory overload, feeling unwell, or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever it is, we all have a choice in those moments: to meet our child with patience and kindness or let frustration take over.

Let’s talk about how we can approach these moments differently—how to redirect and refocus your child without getting into battles. Trust me, it can change the whole day for the better!

Using redirection for your autistic child↗️

Mornings with an autistic child can be unpredictable, and today was no exception. Jacob’s dad, a firefighter, had just left for a 24-hour shift, and I decided I wanted to grab a coffee from Starbucks. It seemed like a simple enough plan, but Jacob had other ideas.

This Morning’s Battle: Coffee vs. Grumpy Mood ☕😡

As I walked through the house, Jacob came out of his room, visibly grumpy. I greeted him with a “Good morning, buddy!” and suggested he get dressed so we could head to Starbucks. His response? “No, thank you,” followed by a quick exit back to his room. 

At this point, I had a choice: I could push back, get frustrated, or find a way to “redirect” Jacob’s emotions. I chose the latter. I calmly stepped to his bedroom door and reminded him, “Go ahead and get dressed, buddy. We’re going to Starbucks, and remember, later today, we’re getting Panera Bread for lunch!” (That’s his favorite on this particular day.)

While he wasn’t thrilled, the reminder of something good coming later in the day made a difference. Though his mood didn’t completely shift, the redirection helped enough to get him in the car. 🚗

How I Use Redirection to Turn Around the Day 🔄

As we drove to Starbucks, I used small opportunities to distract Jacob from his grumpy mood. I pointed out the pumpkins on display for fall (he’s been wanting one) and said, “Maybe next week, we can go pick out a pumpkin to start decorating for fall!” 🎃

Jacob loves movies, so I used “movie quotes” and references to things he enjoys to shift his attention away from whatever was bothering him. This simple strategy of redirecting him to something positive or familiar helps him refocus and allows us both to have a better day. I’m trying to reset and reframe so he’s able to choose a different direction in his thinking and feelings.

Why Redirection is Key for Us 🎯

Jacob can wake up or switch emotions very quickly during the day. Sometimes he’s fine, and then something triggers a mood change. As his family, we try to manage this by focusing on what makes him happy, like discussing things he’s looking forward to. 

The truth is, I don’t always understand what’s causing Jacob’s emotional shifts. Is it sensory overload? Is he feeling unwell? Or is he simply feeling the emotions of a character from a movie he’s watching? 🌀 Jacob often mirrors the feelings of the characters in his favorite movies, whether they are happy, sad, or angry.

Our job as his family is to help him navigate these emotions, even when we don’t fully understand them. Living on “Autism Island,” as I often say, requires us to get creative in how we support Jacob. Redirection helps prevent emotional spirals that could lead to a difficult day. Using redirection techniques for autism behaviors keeps all of our emotions in check.

The Reality of Being an Autism Parent 🌟

I’m human, too. There are mornings when I’m just not in the mood to deal with grumpy behavior or negative attitudes. But as much as I may wish for an easier day, Jacob didn’t wake up healed from his autism. So here we are. 

I can choose to escalate the situation by snapping at him or demanding he “get it together,” or I can take a deep breath, find something to redirect his attention, and guide him to a better mood. It might be a “movie quote”, a reminder of something exciting coming up, or even just suggesting we get cookies from Harris Teeter tomorrow. 🍪

Once I get him to exchange a few happy quotes or engage in something positive, I try to build on that momentum. From there, I steer the conversation toward something else I know he’ll enjoy, like a fall pumpkin or planning for the next outing.  

https://www.speciallearninghouse.com/movies-about-autism/

Setting Boundaries with Love ❤️

While I want to protect and guide my child, I also need to balance that with “setting boundaries”. If Jacob continues in a grumpy mood or begins speaking disrespectfully, there are consequences. I can’t allow him to treat me or others poorly, because that’s not the world we live in. Respect and kindness are essential, even when emotions are running high.

However, I understand that Jacob’s emotions are real and overwhelming for him. While I don’t always know what’s going on inside his mind, I can still offer support through redirection, patience, and a gentle reminder of what’s coming up that he can look forward to.

The Power of Redirection and Patience 💡

Being an autism parent means using redirection techniques for autism can save the day. I’m making decisions every day about how to handle emotional outbursts or mood swings. We can choose to engage in battles, or we can choose to use “redirection” to help guide our children through their emotions. 

For Jacob, redirection helps him focus on the positive, whether it’s a favorite movie quote, a reminder of an upcoming treat, or even a pumpkin for fall. These small, thoughtful moments make a world of difference in his day—and in mine.

As parents, we can’t always control the emotions our children feel, but we can help them navigate through them. With patience, redirection, and love, we can make each day a little brighter for our children and for ourselves.

Today’s Tip and Strategy

Try using redirection instead! 🙌✨

In today’s blog, I’m sharing real-life tips on how to handle meltdowns and manage emotional outbursts with love, patience, and even movie quotes! 🎬💙 Redirection can shift your child’s focus, helping create a calmer day for everyone.

🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?

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