Autism Level 2-3 Can Be Rough!

Living on Autism Island? Then you already know what I’m about to tell you…

If you’re parenting a child with autism level 2-3, this post won’t shock you—but it will encourage you. This one’s for the exhausted parents who need a peek behind the curtain and some practical strategies for not just surviving, but actually thriving on Autism Island. How I made it through the holidays without chaos and anxiety on autism island.

You know the drill: unpredictable days that start before dawn, public meltdowns that make strangers stare, and that constant feeling of treading water while everyone else seems to be swimming laps.

Jim Gaffigan nailed it when he said: “We try to be good parents… not that you’d be able to tell. Like if you met one of my sons, you’d think, ‘Oh wow, Jim decided not to parent this one.'”

Hilarious? Yes. Painfully relatable? Absolutely.

More than once, I’ve caught those looks—the ones that silently ask, “Is she even trying to parent this child?” The truth is, parenting my son Jacob (now 27, autism level 2-3) has taught me more than any book, class, or degree ever could. But getting here wasn’t easy.

The Daily Struggle Was Real

I used to feel like a complete failure—overwhelmed, defeated, and desperate to figure out how to help my son have just one good day, let alone a good life.

Our mornings looked like this:

• Getting dressed? A 45-minute battle that left us both in tears
• Grocery shopping? Forget it—unless I wanted a full-scale meltdown in aisle 3
• Family gatherings or therapy appointments? Pure anxiety for days beforehand

I never knew what would set him off. The heartbreaking part? Neither did he. That’s the reality of parenting a child with autism level 2-3—you’re both trying to navigate a world that doesn’t make sense. Autism Awareness Month! Parenting on the spectrum, no judgment here?🏝️

The Turning Point: When Everything Changed

What finally turned the corner for us wasn’t a miracle cure or expensive therapy. It was something beautifully simple: visual schedules.

A mentor from UNC TEACCH at Chapel Hill introduced me to structured supports that actually made sense to Jacob’s brain. Little by little, with unwavering consistency, we began to see his anxiety decrease. Jacob started feeling more in control of his world.

And I? I began to breathe again.

Here’s the thing—we still use visual schedules today. Even as a young adult, Jacob needs that structure to understand his day and feel safe in it. And you know what? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

CALM: The Framework That Saved Our Sanity

Parenting a child with autism level 2-3 means accepting that support is needed long-term. It also means learning to create your own version of calm in the chaos.

That’s where our CALM Framework comes in—four key habits that transformed our family’s daily life:

C – Consistent Action Forward

Stop trying to fix everything at once. You’ll burn out faster than a birthday candle in a hurricane.

Instead, choose one thing that’s disrupting your peace and create a simple schedule around it. Start ridiculously small. Repeat it daily. Build momentum like you’re training for a marathon, not sprinting to the finish line.

Those tiny wins? They stack up and create a ripple effect for both you and your child.

A – Always Celebrate Wins

Every. Single. Win. Counts.

• Got dressed without a meltdown? 🎉 Victory dance time!
• Used a visual cue to ask for help? 🎉 That’s communication gold!
• Made it through Target with only one minor incident? 🎉 You deserve a medal!

When you focus on what’s working and celebrate it (even if it feels small), you’re rewiring your brain to notice progress. Your child feels that pride and confidence too—and starts believing in their own capabilities.

L – Learning to Create Schedules

Visual schedules aren’t just for classrooms or little kids. They’re for anyone who needs predictability, independence, and reduced anxiety. (So basically, all of us.)

Start with 2-3 simple tasks your child already knows how to do. Build in something they love. Add one small challenge. Follow it with another preferred activity.

The magic formula: Familiar + Preferred + Challenge + Preferred = Success

This isn’t about rigid control—it’s about guidance, ownership, and helping your child feel safe in their own skin.

And no, you don’t need a special education degree to do this. I didn’t have one when I started! I eventually got my degree because I wanted to understand Jacob better, but what really taught me was the daily experience of parenting him.

M – Mindset

Here’s the truth bomb: You can do this.

But your mindset has to shift from reactive to proactive:

• Reactive = chaos, burnout, feeling like you’re always putting out fires
• Proactive = preparation, structure, and actual peace in your home

Your calm becomes their calm. Your belief that they can succeed (with the right support) is what helps them actually succeed.

You’re Not Failing—You’re Learning

If you’re parenting a child with autism level 2-3, I need you to hear this:

💛 You’re not a bad parent. You’re learning to parent differently.
💛 Your child is not broken. They’re wired differently and need different supports.
💛 You absolutely can have calm and happiness, even on Autism Island.

Is it always easy? Not even close. But can you build peace, structure, and genuine joy into your days? Absolutely yes. Here’s a post from someone else you might like: https://marvelouslysetapart.com/2018/08/24/10-positives-of-autism/

Your Next Step Starts Now

Ready to begin your CALM journey? Here’s what you do:

1. Choose one challenge that’s disrupting your peace
2. Build one simple visual schedule around it
3. Celebrate one win when you see progress

That’s it. Start there. Build momentum. Trust the process.

Want more support on this journey? Join the Autism Thrive Tribe—my membership community where parents use the CALM framework to bring real peace and purpose into daily life. We share wins, support each other through the tough days, and celebrate every step forward together.

Because parenting a child with autism level 2-3 doesn’t have to mean constant chaos. Let’s build CALM—and a future full of possibility.

Remember: Every visual schedule you create is another step toward independence for your child, less anxiety in their daily life, and more peace for your entire family. We’re cheering you on! 💙

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