Autism-friendly Family Traditions 

As parents of children with autism, we know that traditional parenting methods don’t always work for our kids. Let’s create Autism-friendly family traditions for our children with autism. Conversations and talks alone aren’t enough to reach them, especially when sensory issues, speech challenges, and unique needs are in the mix. For my son Jacob, who has autism along with epilepsy and sensory sensitivities, a different approach is essential.

In this post, we’ll explore how rethinking family traditions can create positive experiences for your child. Building routines and traditions that suit your child’s unique needs can help them feel safe, included, and joyful—without the stress of typical holiday or family gatherings. We’ll cover ways to create new, autism-friendly traditions that your family can embrace and enjoy, year after year.

Stop Trying Old Parenting! Create Autism-Friendly Family Traditions That Work

As autism parents, we all want to enjoy holidays, vacations, and traditions with our kids, just like any other family. But we know that for children on the spectrum, the change, excitement, and unpredictability of these events can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress. For my son Jacob, whose autism journey includes speech delays, sensory issues, and epilepsy, traditional celebrations weren’t working for him or for us. But I’ve learned how to create new, autism-friendly traditions that allow him to feel safe, happy, and engaged.

Visual Schedules: Building Predictability and Comfort

The first step to building calm into Jacob’s life—and into our family life—was creating a visual schedule. This has become one of the most important tools in reducing his anxiety and giving him a sense of control over his day. Visual schedules allow Jacob to see what’s coming next in his day, helping him mentally prepare for any changes. How to stop stressing over Fall season changes? Autism season challenges.

• Daily Routines First – We started by adding everyday tasks to his schedule: meals, playtime, and regular chores. By keeping the daily schedule predictable, he knew what to expect, and it gave him a safe foundation.
• Building in Flexibility – Once Jacob was used to his daily routine, we could introduce special events like doctor visits, family gatherings, or even a visitor coming over. By adding these into his visual schedule, Jacob could see that, while something different was happening, the rest of his day would get back to his familiar routine. This preparation has been a life-saver for all of us.
• Example: The Halloween Party – Last week, Jacob had his first Halloween party at the Autism Society Day Program. Because it was on his visual schedule, we could talk about it for weeks, helping him mentally prepare. When the day came, he enjoyed the decorations, socialized, and was thrilled to be there. He didn’t even care about getting candy; the excitement of the event was enough!

The visual schedule has reduced his anxiety and allowed him to prepare for changes, making these experiences positive instead of overwhelming.

Autism-Friendly Family Traditions: Creating New Holiday Routines

While holidays and vacations are a joy for most families, they can be difficult for children with autism due to their unpredictable nature. But with a little planning, we’ve found ways to create routines around the things Jacob loves, helping him enjoy these special days with us. Here’s how we approach traditions with autism-friendly routines:

• Think About What Your Child Loves – For us, it’s simple activities that bring Jacob joy: grocery store trips, holiday treats, and decorating. So, we incorporate these into our traditions. For Halloween, we went to the store together and bought his favorite ghost-themed cookies and candy to donate for the party.
• Plan Ahead and Get the Family Involved – Knowing that Jacob loves picking out his favorite treats, we include this as part of every holiday celebration. Last Halloween, we decorated the house, watched themed movies, and had fun with Halloween cookies. Now that Halloween is over, we’re already moving on to Christmas (yes, a little early!). We stocked up on hot cocoa, holiday cookies, and chocolate-covered Oreos—a little holiday splurge! By making these moments special, we’re creating holiday traditions that Jacob feels comfortable with and looks forward to.
• Use the Visual Schedule for Special Events – Any time there’s a holiday or event, I make sure it’s on Jacob’s visual schedule well in advance. Whether it’s Christmas decorations going up or a family gathering, seeing it on his schedule lets him prepare mentally and know what to expect. This simple planning step helps him feel in control and keeps his anxiety down. How we plan for Halloween on Autism Island, hint Jacob Superman!

  

  Small Traditions That Make a Big Impact

  For Jacob, the most meaningful traditions are often the simplest ones, and it’s these small moments that bring him the most joy. Baking holiday cookies, sipping hot chocolate together, or decorating his room with his favorite holiday trinkets have become rituals that make him feel included. We even add these smaller activities to his schedule, giving him things to look forward to throughout the day. Unlocking the Easter Joy: A Guide to Teaching Children with Autism about Easter

  • Building Traditions Around Your Child’s Interests – One of the most impactful things I’ve learned is to build traditions around what your child loves. Jacob loves superheroes, so around Halloween, we incorporate themed treats, and for Christmas, we’ll add small, holiday superhero gifts or watch themed movies. Instead of large events or outings that may be overwhelming, we focus on low-key celebrations with elements he loves.
  • Preparing for Big Family Traditions – We also plan ahead for bigger holiday events by including smaller activities in the weeks leading up to them. This way, when Christmas comes around, Jacob is already in the holiday spirit and looking forward to those simple, scheduled moments. We’ll talk about going to church, decorating the tree, and visiting family, all in a way that makes him excited rather than anxious.
    

    Tips for Autism-Friendly Holiday Planning

    1. Plan Ahead and Use Visual Schedules:
    Make sure special events, traditions, or gatherings are on the visual schedule well in advance. Talk about what’s coming up, so your child can get excited and feel secure in knowing what to expect.

    2. Keep It Simple and Joyful:
    Focus on the little things that your child loves. Whether it’s a certain treat, decoration, or activity, building traditions around their interests brings them joy and keeps them calm.

    3. Take It at Their Pace:
    Don’t feel pressured to rush or pack in too many events. Enjoying a simple activity together can be just as meaningful as an elaborate tradition. This approach helps create a positive experience for the whole family.

    4. Be Consistent, But Stay Flexible:
    Every child is different, and what works one year may need adjusting the next. Stick to what brings comfort and joy, but don’t be afraid to try new things if they’re ready for it.    https://autismclassroomresources.com/5-ways-to-reduce-anxiety/?epik=dj0yJnU9a1dXRlhjUkUtejdtMUhNV0Z5Qy0zUWRWd1dnQWJURnYmcD0wJm49bVFZVUUwRG41cFhKQk85QzFBZzhmZyZ0PUFBQUFBR2NueGJn

    Creating a Calm and Joyful Family Life on Autism Island

    Autism-friendly traditions may take a bit of planning and flexibility, but  for Jacob it’s more than worth it. For Jacob and our family, this approach has turned holidays and family events from stress-filled struggles into joyful, meaningful moments we all look forward to. By using visual schedules and creating routines around the simple things Jacob loves, we’re making memories that bring us closer together.

    As parents, we all want calm, joy, and connection in our homes. By adapting traditions and including your child in ways that suit them best, you can create a life filled with love and peace—one holiday at a time.

    Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family.

    Schedule a discovery call
    Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

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