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    Stop engaging in power struggles! Use redirection for your autistic child.

    Stop-getting-into-battles-with-your-autistic-child
    We can choose to use “redirection” to help guide our children through their emotions.

    Stop Getting into Battles with Your Autistic Child🛑

    As an autism parent, using redirection for your autistic child can save the day. I know firsthand how hard it can be to keep your cool when things aren’t going smoothly. This morning was one of those moments for me. Jacob was having a rough time, and I had to make a choice: engage in a battle of emotions, or try something different to turn things around. I chose the latter.

     

    I’ve spoken before about how my husband and Jacob’s brother are great at redirecting him using music or movie quotes (they love doing voices of his favorite characters!). My strength, though, is a bit different. I may not know if Jacob has a headache or if sensory overload is making things worse, but I’ve learned to take a deep breath, shift his focus, and remind him of something good that’s coming up in his day. How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.

     

    When the frustration is building, the key is not to react negatively—even when emotions run high. If I lose my cool, Jacob’s emotions will escalate, and we’ll both be in for a bad day. Remember, there’s a lot going on beneath the surface. It could be sensory overload, feeling unwell, or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever it is, we all have a choice in those moments: to meet our child with patience and kindness or let frustration take over.

     

    Let’s talk about how we can approach these moments differently—how to redirect and refocus your child without getting into battles. Trust me, it can change the whole day for the better!

     

    Using redirection for your autistic child↗️

     

    Mornings with an autistic child can be unpredictable, and today was no exception. Jacob’s dad, a firefighter, had just left for a 24-hour shift, and I decided I wanted to grab a coffee from Starbucks. It seemed like a simple enough plan, but Jacob had other ideas.

     

    Engage-in-battles-with-my-autistic-son-or-use-redirection
    Engage in battles or Redirection?

    This Morning’s Battle: Coffee vs. Grumpy Mood ☕😡

     

    As I walked through the house, Jacob came out of his room, visibly grumpy. I greeted him with a “Good morning, buddy!” and suggested he get dressed so we could head to Starbucks. His response? “No, thank you,” followed by a quick exit back to his room. 

     

    At this point, I had a choice: I could push back, get frustrated, or find a way to “redirect” Jacob’s emotions. I chose the latter. I calmly stepped to his bedroom door and reminded him, “Go ahead and get dressed, buddy. We’re going to Starbucks, and remember, later today, we’re getting Panera Bread for lunch!” (That’s his favorite on this particular day.)

     

    While he wasn’t thrilled, the reminder of something good coming later in the day made a difference. Though his mood didn’t completely shift, the redirection helped enough to get him in the car. 🚗

     

    How I Use Redirection to Turn Around the Day 🔄

     

    As we drove to Starbucks, I used small opportunities to distract Jacob from his grumpy mood. I pointed out the pumpkins on display for fall (he’s been wanting one) and said, “Maybe next week, we can go pick out a pumpkin to start decorating for fall!” 🎃

     

    Jacob loves movies, so I used “movie quotes” and references to things he enjoys to shift his attention away from whatever was bothering him. This simple strategy of redirecting him to something positive or familiar helps him refocus and allows us both to have a better day. I’m trying to reset and reframe so he’s able to choose a different direction in his thinking and feelings.

     

    Why Redirection is Key for Us 🎯

     

    Jacob can wake up or switch emotions very quickly during the day. Sometimes he’s fine, and then something triggers a mood change. As his family, we try to manage this by focusing on what makes him happy, like discussing things he’s looking forward to. 

     

    The truth is, I don’t always understand what’s causing Jacob’s emotional shifts. Is it sensory overload? Is he feeling unwell? Or is he simply feeling the emotions of a character from a movie he’s watching? 🌀 Jacob often mirrors the feelings of the characters in his favorite movies, whether they are happy, sad, or angry.

     

    Our job as his family is to help him navigate these emotions, even when we don’t fully understand them. Living on “Autism Island,” as I often say, requires us to get creative in how we support Jacob. Redirection helps prevent emotional spirals that could lead to a difficult day. Using redirection techniques for autism behaviors keeps all of our emotions in check.

     

    The Reality of Being an Autism Parent 🌟

     

    Stop-getting-into-battles-with-your-autistic-child-2
    Start where you are each day and move forward!

    I’m human, too. There are mornings when I’m just not in the mood to deal with grumpy behavior or negative attitudes. But as much as I may wish for an easier day, Jacob didn’t wake up healed from his autism. So here we are. 

     

    I can choose to escalate the situation by snapping at him or demanding he “get it together,” or I can take a deep breath, find something to redirect his attention, and guide him to a better mood. It might be a “movie quote”, a reminder of something exciting coming up, or even just suggesting we get cookies from Harris Teeter tomorrow. 🍪

     

    Once I get him to exchange a few happy quotes or engage in something positive, I try to build on that momentum. From there, I steer the conversation toward something else I know he’ll enjoy, like a fall pumpkin or planning for the next outing.  

    https://www.speciallearninghouse.com/movies-about-autism/

     

    Setting Boundaries with Love ❤️

     

    While I want to protect and guide my child, I also need to balance that with “setting boundaries”. If Jacob continues in a grumpy mood or begins speaking disrespectfully, there are consequences. I can’t allow him to treat me or others poorly, because that’s not the world we live in. Respect and kindness are essential, even when emotions are running high.

     

    However, I understand that Jacob’s emotions are real and overwhelming for him. While I don’t always know what’s going on inside his mind, I can still offer support through redirection, patience, and a gentle reminder of what’s coming up that he can look forward to.

     

    The Power of Redirection and Patience 💡

     

    Being an autism parent means using redirection techniques for autism can save the day. I’m making decisions every day about how to handle emotional outbursts or mood swings. We can choose to engage in battles, or we can choose to use “redirection” to help guide our children through their emotions. 

     

    For Jacob, redirection helps him focus on the positive, whether it’s a favorite movie quote, a reminder of an upcoming treat, or even a pumpkin for fall. These small, thoughtful moments make a world of difference in his day—and in mine.

     

    As parents, we can’t always control the emotions our children feel, but we can help them navigate through them. With patience, redirection, and love, we can make each day a little brighter for our children and for ourselves.

    Today’s Tip and Strategy

    Try using redirection instead! 🙌✨


    In today’s blog, I’m sharing real-life tips on how to handle meltdowns and manage emotional outbursts with love, patience, and even movie quotes! 🎬💙 Redirection can shift your child’s focus, helping create a calmer day for everyone.

     

    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?


    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟

     

    📅 Schedule a discovery call


    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: Book a coaching session today and start seeing real, positive changes in your family’s life! 💙

    https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

     

    Let’s work together to create a structured, peaceful home where your child can thrive.📚

     

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  • Blog, schedules

    Why teach chores for children with autism, how a schedule helps!

    5 Chores to teach your child with autism
    5 Chores you can teach even a young child.

    Click here to get a link to the printable list with why you should and how!

     Chores For Children With Autism

    As parents, we want to raise responsible and independent children who can take care of themselves and contribute to their households. When you have a child with autism, sometimes you just don’t know where to start, and fear takes over. “My child isn’t even verbal; don’t tell me to teach chores, I mean really!” 😅

    Once I realized Jacob needed this as much or more than other children, I got to work. We can teach our kids how to do household chores. It’s really not that hard—no special education degree required! Just a simple schedule and consistency. 📅✅

    Parents need a break too!

    Even if it’s going to the grocery store alone!

    Not only does this help to lighten the load for busy parents, but it also teaches children valuable life skills that will serve them well into adulthood. In this blog post, we’ll explore the top five chores that every child should learn how to do, and why.

    From doing laundry to washing dishes, these tasks may seem mundane, but they are crucial for building responsibility, self-sufficiency, and a strong work ethic in children. So, let’s dive in and discover the benefits of teaching kids how to help out around the house. 🧺🍽️✨

    Age-Appropriate Chores for Children with Autism

    It’s important to assign age-appropriate chores to children. Younger children can start with simple tasks such as putting away toys, making their bed, or helping to set the table. These tasks can all be included on a visual schedule. 📅 It’s essential for the child to know what’s expected and when they are finished! ✅

    As children get older, they can take on more responsibility, such as doing laundry, washing dishes, and cleaning their room. 🧺🍽️ Jacob has all of these on his daily schedule now that he is older and not reporting to a job.

    Chores Based on Age

    Assigning chores for children with autism based on age not only ensures that the task is appropriate for their physical and mental capabilities, but it also helps to build their confidence and sense of independence. As they complete these tasks, they will feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in their ability to contribute to the household. 🌟

    Don’t be afraid to assign tasks that may be difficult at first but can be mastered with practice and patience. When Jacob is learning something new, I model the task and remain patient. It should not be an independent task until they are able to complete it without looking to you for help. 🧹

    Remember, even superheroes need a bit of training before they can save the day! 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ With consistency and encouragement, chores for children with autism can become a valuable part of their routine, promoting both independence and a strong work ethic.

    Responsibility and Independence

    One of the most important benefits of teaching children chores is that it teaches them responsibility and independence. When children are assigned chores, they learn that they are responsible for completing the task and that their actions have consequences. Jacob knows if he has a good week, he is allowed to order from Amazon or eBay on Friday. 📦

    As they complete these tasks, they also learn valuable time management skills and how to prioritize their responsibilities. This helps to build a sense of independence and self-sufficiency, which is crucial for their development as they grow older. ⏰

    Additionally, chores teach children the importance of taking care of their belongings and their environment. This not only helps to keep the house clean and organized, but also teaches children the value of respecting their surroundings. 🧹✨

    Chores Teach Valuable Life Skills

    Another benefit of teaching children chores is that it teaches them valuable life skills that will serve them well into adulthood. For example, doing laundry teaches children how to sort and wash clothes, as well as how to operate a washing machine and dryer. 🧺

    Washing dishes teaches children how to clean and sanitize dishes properly, as well as how to handle fragile items. 🍽️ Cleaning their room teaches children how to organize and maintain their personal space, which is an important skill to have as they grow older and move out on their own. 🛏️

    By teaching children these skills at a young age, parents are setting them up for success in the future. These skills will not only help them take care of themselves but also be valuable contributors to their communities and workplaces. As parents of children with autism, we have to face the fact we won’t live forever, so we have to help them be as independent as they can be! 🌟

    Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

    Completing chores can be a great confidence booster for children. As they complete tasks, they will feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in their ability to contribute to the household. Jacob is always happy when he’s allowed to order what he likes on Friday, but there have been a few Fridays he was sad because he didn’t have a great week. Be consistent! 😊

    This can be especially powerful for children who may struggle in other areas. By giving them a task they can excel at, parents can help build their self-esteem and confidence, which will benefit them in other areas of their lives. 🌈

    Additionally, completing chores can help children develop a sense of responsibility and reliability. When they consistently complete tasks, they will feel pride in their ability to follow through and meet their commitments. Yes! 🎉

    Chores Teach the Value of Hard Work

    Finally, teaching children chores helps instill the value of hard work. When children are assigned tasks, they learn that they need to work hard and put in the effort to complete them. 💪

    This is an important lesson that will serve them well throughout their lives. Whether in their personal or professional lives, the value of hard work is crucial for success. 🏆

    By teaching children the value of hard work through chores, parents are setting them up for success in the future. They will understand that success comes from effort and dedication and that anything worth having requires hard work and perseverance. 🚀

    How to Introduce Chores to Your Children with Autism

    Introducing chores to children can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips to make the process easier:

    – Start Young: The earlier you start introducing chores, the easier it will be for children to understand their importance. Use a visual schedule—it’s simple and you don’t need to use a lot of language, which your child may not understand.
    – Be Consistent: Make sure that chores are assigned consistently and that children understand the consequences of not completing them. This is KEY!
    – Be Patient: Children may not do the task perfectly at first, but with practice and patience, they will improve. Pick your battles and remember it may not be done to your highest expectations, but it’s a work in progress.
    – Provide Guidance: Be available to provide guidance and assistance when needed. Have a schedule and model without using a lot of language that will overwhelm your child.
    – Make It Fun: Try to make chores as fun as possible by turning them into games or contests. Yes! I have a list of chores and so does Jake—I can always point to mine or his to make it a friendly competition.

    Tips for Making Chores Fun for Children

    Making chores for children with autism fun can help to motivate them to complete tasks. Here are some tips for making chores more enjoyable:

    – Turn Tasks into Games: See who can fold laundry the fastest or who can clean their room the most thoroughly.
    – Use Music: Play music while completing tasks to make them more enjoyable. Check out this post: How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.
    – Offer Rewards: Consider offering rewards for completing tasks, such as extra screen time or a special treat.
    – Work Together: To make chores more enjoyable and to teach children the importance of teamwork do your tasks too.

    Common Mistakes to Avoid When Teaching Children with Autism Chores

    When teaching children chores, there are some common mistakes to avoid. Here are a few:

    – Assigning Too Many Tasks: It’s important to assign tasks that are age-appropriate and manageable. Assigning too many tasks can be overwhelming and counterproductive.
    -Providing Guidance: Children with autism may not know how to complete a task properly. Provide modeling and assistance when needed.
    – Not Being Consistent: If chores are not assigned consistently, children may not understand their importance and may not complete them.
    – Not Providing Positive Reinforcement: It’s important to provide positive reinforcement when children complete tasks. This helps to build their confidence and motivation.

    Benefits of Teaching Children with Autism Chores

    Teaching children chores is an important part of raising responsible and independent children. Chores teach responsibility, independence, valuable life skills, and the value of hard work. Additionally, completing chores can help to build self-esteem and confidence in children.

    By introducing chores at a young age, parents can set their children up for success in the future. By being consistent, patient, and providing guidance and positive reinforcement, parents can help to make the process enjoyable.

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