Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!
My Home Was in Chaos
Before Jacob’s autism diagnosis, doctors reassured us with comments like, “He’s meeting his other developmental milestones” and “Boys talk later than girls sometimes.” Jacob was 2 years old and still had no language. After a mom fit in the doctor’s office, they finally put in a referral for speech therapy. It took almost 6 months to get into the speech therapist covered by our insurance. After the first visit, she told me to get him tested and into preschool.
Autism Diagnosis: The Fear 😔
My confidence as a mom plummeted, and the fear was real. My first son was perfect, with all the typical milestones. It took another 4-6 months to get Jacob tested for autism through the schools and Teacch, who were wonderful and conducted thorough evaluations over several days. The meltdowns at the testing sites stripped the rest of my confidence. I felt like I was being judged by everyone when they happened. I felt clueless.
Navigating the Early Stages 🍼
Meanwhile, I learned from watching the speech therapist. Jacob was not comfortable with anyone outside the family. No therapies or testing went well. Jacob was obviously upset to be somewhere other than home. He was a fussy eater, didn’t sleep well at night, frequently had ear infections, then tubes in his ears, and frequent bowel issues. Initially, we blamed the ear infections and eventually had his hearing checked.
Our home was full of worry by this time. We knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what or how long it would take to get a handle on it. Jacob now had full-on meltdowns as we tried to get speech therapy and more engagement with him.
The Diagnosis and Initial Steps 🏫
Jacob was very independent, probably because he didn’t have language to ask us for things. When Jacob started preschool, he did not engage with the other kids and only with the adults when he needed something. The official diagnosis came in, and Jacob was placed into a self-contained autism room. It was necessary because he had no success in the other room, and the teacher had no clue what to do with him. In the autism self-contained room, the teacher started him on a visual schedule from day one. But, there was only a limited time each child could have, and Jacob was really behind, so we started considering homeschooling.
The Power of Visual Schedules 📅
From that point on, we used visual schedules at home. I started going to the Teacch office, and they helped me build activities that Jacob could understand without needing language. Now, I can build schedules with work (activities) he needs to do to be a member of the family. He discovered he could learn, do work like the rest of the family, and have activities before movies, trains, toys, etc. Can a schedule help hyperactivity in toddlers? #Autism Challenges🧩
Finding Our Rhythm 🎬
It took years to figure things out, and Jacob is still not talking, but we started using movie quotes from movies he liked to see him light up. We were speaking his language. We also started using sign language, which really helped Jacob. Using his hands and the visual of watching someone complete a sign allowed Jacob’s brain to locate the word he wanted to say. He learned basic signs that we used while watching a show called Signing Time. 3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?
Gaining Control and Peace 🧘♂️
We have more confidence as parents and peace in the home now. Jacob has a schedule, he can communicate some of his wants and needs, he’s doing schoolwork and chores, and we also started homeschooling him and his brother.
His brother, Nicholas, is now in graduate school and Jacob is grown and living at home with us today. He still does schoolwork, chores and shopping with us and he is able to do so with less anxiety using schedules. His day is chaotic and anxious without schedules. We are all much happier now.
A Message to Other Autism Parents 💪
To all the parents out there feeling the weight of an autism diagnosis and the chaos that follows, know that you are not alone. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but with patience, love, and the right strategies, you can create a structured and peaceful environment for your child. Remember, it’s okay to have off days. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time. You’ve got this! 💖
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Want more information? Sign up for my ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg Let’s support each other on this journey! 📢💬
