#AutismFamilyLife

  • Blog, schedules

    Stop trying old parenting! We Create Autism-friendly family traditions!

    We create Autism-friendly family traditions
    We Create Autism-Friendly Family Traditions @educatingjacob!

    Autism-friendly Family Traditions 

    As parents of children with autism, we know that traditional parenting methods don’t always work for our kids. Let’s create Autism-friendly family traditions for our children with autism. Conversations and talks alone aren’t enough to reach them, especially when sensory issues, speech challenges, and unique needs are in the mix. For my son Jacob, who has autism along with epilepsy and sensory sensitivities, a different approach is essential.

    In this post, we’ll explore how rethinking family traditions can create positive experiences for your child. Building routines and traditions that suit your child’s unique needs can help them feel safe, included, and joyful—without the stress of typical holiday or family gatherings. We’ll cover ways to create new, autism-friendly traditions that your family can embrace and enjoy, year after year.

    Stop Trying Old Parenting! Create Autism-Friendly Family Traditions That Work

    As autism parents, we all want to enjoy holidays, vacations, and traditions with our kids, just like any other family. But we know that for children on the spectrum, the change, excitement, and unpredictability of these events can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress. For my son Jacob, whose autism journey includes speech delays, sensory issues, and epilepsy, traditional celebrations weren’t working for him or for us. But I’ve learned how to create new, autism-friendly traditions that allow him to feel safe, happy, and engaged.

    Visual Schedules: Building Predictability and Comfort

    The first step to building calm into Jacob’s life—and into our family life—was creating a visual schedule. This has become one of the most important tools in reducing his anxiety and giving him a sense of control over his day. Visual schedules allow Jacob to see what’s coming next in his day, helping him mentally prepare for any changes. How to stop stressing over Fall season changes? Autism season challenges.

    • Daily Routines First – We started by adding everyday tasks to his schedule: meals, playtime, and regular chores. By keeping the daily schedule predictable, he knew what to expect, and it gave him a safe foundation.
    • Building in Flexibility – Once Jacob was used to his daily routine, we could introduce special events like doctor visits, family gatherings, or even a visitor coming over. By adding these into his visual schedule, Jacob could see that, while something different was happening, the rest of his day would get back to his familiar routine. This preparation has been a life-saver for all of us.
    • Example: The Halloween Party – Last week, Jacob had his first Halloween party at the Autism Society Day Program. Because it was on his visual schedule, we could talk about it for weeks, helping him mentally prepare. When the day came, he enjoyed the decorations, socialized, and was thrilled to be there. He didn’t even care about getting candy; the excitement of the event was enough!

    The visual schedule has reduced his anxiety and allowed him to prepare for changes, making these experiences positive instead of overwhelming.

    Autism-Friendly Family Traditions: Creating New Holiday Routines

    While holidays and vacations are a joy for most families, they can be difficult for children with autism due to their unpredictable nature. But with a little planning, we’ve found ways to create routines around the things Jacob loves, helping him enjoy these special days with us. Here’s how we approach traditions with autism-friendly routines:

    • Think About What Your Child Loves – For us, it’s simple activities that bring Jacob joy: grocery store trips, holiday treats, and decorating. So, we incorporate these into our traditions. For Halloween, we went to the store together and bought his favorite ghost-themed cookies and candy to donate for the party.
    • Plan Ahead and Get the Family Involved – Knowing that Jacob loves picking out his favorite treats, we include this as part of every holiday celebration. Last Halloween, we decorated the house, watched themed movies, and had fun with Halloween cookies. Now that Halloween is over, we’re already moving on to Christmas (yes, a little early!). We stocked up on hot cocoa, holiday cookies, and chocolate-covered Oreos—a little holiday splurge! By making these moments special, we’re creating holiday traditions that Jacob feels comfortable with and looks forward to.
    • Use the Visual Schedule for Special Events – Any time there’s a holiday or event, I make sure it’s on Jacob’s visual schedule well in advance. Whether it’s Christmas decorations going up or a family gathering, seeing it on his schedule lets him prepare mentally and know what to expect. This simple planning step helps him feel in control and keeps his anxiety down. How we plan for Halloween on Autism Island, hint Jacob ❤️ Superman! 🎃
      halloween-tradition-Pt-2-at-educatingjacob.com
      Jacob loves a party, he loved the Autism Society Halloween Party!

      Small Traditions That Make a Big Impact

      For Jacob, the most meaningful traditions are often the simplest ones, and it’s these small moments that bring him the most joy. Baking holiday cookies, sipping hot chocolate together, or decorating his room with his favorite holiday trinkets have become rituals that make him feel included. We even add these smaller activities to his schedule, giving him things to look forward to throughout the day. Unlocking the Easter Joy: A Guide to Teaching Children with Autism about Easter

      • Building Traditions Around Your Child’s Interests – One of the most impactful things I’ve learned is to build traditions around what your child loves. Jacob loves superheroes, so around Halloween, we incorporate themed treats, and for Christmas, we’ll add small, holiday superhero gifts or watch themed movies. Instead of large events or outings that may be overwhelming, we focus on low-key celebrations with elements he loves.
      • Preparing for Big Family Traditions – We also plan ahead for bigger holiday events by including smaller activities in the weeks leading up to them. This way, when Christmas comes around, Jacob is already in the holiday spirit and looking forward to those simple, scheduled moments. We’ll talk about going to church, decorating the tree, and visiting family, all in a way that makes him excited rather than anxious.

        Tips for Autism-Friendly Holiday Planning

        1. Plan Ahead and Use Visual Schedules:
        Make sure special events, traditions, or gatherings are on the visual schedule well in advance. Talk about what’s coming up, so your child can get excited and feel secure in knowing what to expect.

        2. Keep It Simple and Joyful:
        Focus on the little things that your child loves. Whether it’s a certain treat, decoration, or activity, building traditions around their interests brings them joy and keeps them calm.

        3. Take It at Their Pace:
        Don’t feel pressured to rush or pack in too many events. Enjoying a simple activity together can be just as meaningful as an elaborate tradition. This approach helps create a positive experience for the whole family.

        4. Be Consistent, But Stay Flexible:
        Every child is different, and what works one year may need adjusting the next. Stick to what brings comfort and joy, but don’t be afraid to try new things if they’re ready for it.  👉🏼  https://autismclassroomresources.com/5-ways-to-reduce-anxiety/?epik=dj0yJnU9a1dXRlhjUkUtejdtMUhNV0Z5Qy0zUWRWd1dnQWJURnYmcD0wJm49bVFZVUUwRG41cFhKQk85QzFBZzhmZyZ0PUFBQUFBR2NueGJn

        Creating a Calm and Joyful Family Life on Autism Island

        Autism-friendly traditions may take a bit of planning and flexibility, but  for Jacob it’s more than worth it. For Jacob and our family, this approach has turned holidays and family events from stress-filled struggles into joyful, meaningful moments we all look forward to. By using visual schedules and creating routines around the simple things Jacob loves, we’re making memories that bring us closer together.

        As parents, we all want calm, joy, and connection in our homes. By adapting traditions and including your child in ways that suit them best, you can create a life filled with love and peace—one holiday at a time.

        🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
        🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟

        📅 Schedule a discovery call
        👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

        #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting

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  • Blog, schedules

    You Have to Stop Freaking Out! Mindset for Autism Parenting.

    Mindset-for-Autism-Parenting
    Routine things can be difficult for children with autism, Let’s help them!

    Mindset for Autism Parenting

     

    When you first receive an autism diagnosis, it’s completely natural to feel a rush of emotions—shock, fear, maybe even grief. You have to move beyond the fear and get a mindset for autism parenting. We all envision what family life will look like, filled with vacations, holidays, and weekend adventures. Suddenly, with the diagnosis, those dreams might feel out of reach, and it’s easy to feel like everything you’d imagined has shifted.

     

    But here’s the truth: while it’s okay to feel those emotions initially, staying in a place of fear and worry only holds us back. As parents, we need a plan, not just for our children but also for ourselves. When we’re overwhelmed by worry, we can’t move forward and be the parents our kids need us to be. 

    In this post, I’ll share the mindset shift that helped me step away from overwhelm and back into a place of confidence and control. With the right mindset, we can embrace life on Autism Island with calm, purpose, and strength, making space for family joy—on our terms. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/not-wired-for-this-world

    You Have to Stop Freaking Out!

    When we first hear the word “autism” in connection with our child, it can feel like everything we hoped for as a family is suddenly uncertain. That moment is overwhelming. I remember the fear and grief vividly. What would happen to the vacations, holiday traditions, sports games, and concerts I’d always imagined we’d share as a family? The future I’d dreamed of for Jacob suddenly seemed out of reach.

    It’s okay to feel these things. You’re not alone in this experience. The key is not to stay stuck in fear. We don’t want to lose the confidence and joy that first came with parenting. We’re here to love, guide, and teach our children, just as Proverbs 20:11 reminds us: “Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.” With the right mindset, you can move forward confidently, finding purpose in each day, and building a home filled with peace, calm, and joy.

    Mindset: Start with CALM Action

    For me, shifting my mindset began with taking CALM action forward. I realized that I was the best person to help Jacob, even though I had no experience with autism. You don’t need a degree to make a positive difference in your child’s life, but you do need the right mindset and practical tools. You are qualified and capable; you know your child better than anyone else.

    When Jacob was young, I had no idea what to look for or where to start. His speech was delayed, and we kept hearing, “He’ll talk when he’s ready.” Looking back, I can see the signs—the hand-flapping, sensory excitement—but at the time, I had no guidance. It wasn’t until he was four that we got the diagnosis, and by then, I felt like so much time had been lost.

    Proverbs-20:11_Educating-Jacob
    Let’s use our Visual Schedules to guide Actions!

    Finding Support and Setting Goals

    After Jacob’s diagnosis, I was consumed with research and self-doubt. I didn’t have anyone to mentor me, and I felt like a horrible mom, overwhelmed and unsure. Over time, with the support of friends, family, and my own growing strength, I started to find my footing. My best friend gave me the confidence to keep going when she told me, “You’re doing everything you can, and you’re going to figure this out.” We were both homeschooling at this point in the journey.

    Finding someone who’s been where you are can be incredibly helpful. Having a mentor or a supportive community can keep you moving forward. And remember: confidence starts with a single step. Even small victories build momentum and hope.

    Journaling-helps-to-look-back-on-past-struggles-and-victories
    Celebrate all Wins! Journal so you can look back and see progress.

    The Power of Visual Schedules for Calm and Communication

    Looking back, I can see how learning to make activities and visual schedules for Jacob transformed our lives. At the time, I didn’t understand how this would help—he wasn’t even speaking! But structured routines were exactly what he needed to reduce anxiety and meltdowns, and they helped me communicate without words. 4 Things I Wish I Would Have Known After Getting the Autism Diagnosis

    Visual schedules became our lifeline. They allowed Jacob to see his day at a glance, knowing what was coming next without needing long explanations. This structure helped him feel safe and reduced his need for meltdowns as a way to control his world. The calm it brought was a gift, and it even helped ease my own anxiety.

    Building Routines and Confidence for Your Child (and You!)

    Children with autism thrive on structure and routine. A well-laid-out day allows them to understand their world without constant fear of the unknown. Visual schedules and activities give them something predictable to rely on, reducing anxiety and providing calm.

    When I began creating visual schedules, I kept it simple, starting with things Jacob was already familiar with, like brushing his teeth or choosing his clothes. Every small success became a building block for confidence, and I celebrated each win. It’s a powerful feeling to watch your child become more independent, even with small steps. Over time, this helped both of us approach each day with more ease.

    Tips for building routines with confidence:

    • Start small and keep it simple – Begin with familiar tasks and gradually build on them.
    • Celebrate wins – Acknowledge every success, no matter how small, to build confidence.
    • Adjust as needed – Be flexible; what works one day might need a tweak the next.
    Creating a Home Filled with Calm, Joy, and Structure

    Our journey taught me that achieving calm doesn’t require big, dramatic changes. Instead, small actions—visual schedules, routines, and learning to communicate in non-verbal ways—had the biggest impact. I even taught Jacob a bit of sign language, paired with his favorite songs, which helped him express himself without feeling overwhelmed by words. Over time, our home became a place of calm and joy, where everyone could feel understood and safe. Stop engaging in power struggles! Use redirection for your autistic child.

    Remember: You don’t have to go through this journey alone. There are others who’ve walked this path and can offer support and encouragement. Visual schedules and routines may seem small, but they are game-changers. They help reduce stress, create calm, and provide clarity for you and your child.

    Tips to Keep Moving Forward with Confidence
    1. Trust Your Instincts – You know your child best. Use this knowledge to create routines and strategies that work specifically for them.
    2. Celebrate Every Small Step – Even a small win is a huge step in the right direction. Acknowledge each success to build momentum.
    3. Find a Support System – Seek out others who understand the autism journey. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or online community, support makes all the difference.
    4. Document Your Journey – Journaling, even if only on difficult days, can help you see how far you’ve come. When things feel challenging, look back at past entries and recognize the growth.
    5. Stay Flexible and Open – Every child is unique. If something doesn’t work, pivot and try again. Trust that you’ll find a rhythm that suits both you and your child.
    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟

    📅 Schedule a discovery call
    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting#askmelissa

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