AutismSupport

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    Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    My Home Was in Chaos

    Before Jacob’s autism diagnosis, doctors reassured us with comments like, “He’s meeting his other developmental milestones” and “Boys talk later than girls sometimes.” Jacob was 2 years old and still had no language. After a mom fit in the doctor’s office, they finally put in a referral for speech therapy. It took almost 6 months to get into the speech therapist covered by our insurance. After the first visit, she told me to get him tested and into preschool.

    autism mom worry, When I'm afraid, Psalm 56:3
    1 Corinthians 3:11 “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ”

     

    Autism Diagnosis: The Fear 😔

    Researching autism and therapies!
    Researching and going to approved therapies for autism!

    My confidence as a mom plummeted, and the fear was real. My first son was perfect, with all the typical milestones. It took another 4-6 months to get Jacob tested for autism through the schools and Teacch, who were wonderful and conducted thorough evaluations over several days. The meltdowns at the testing sites stripped the rest of my confidence. I felt like I was being judged by everyone when they happened. I felt clueless.

    Navigating the Early Stages 🍼

    Meanwhile, I learned from watching the speech therapist. Jacob was not comfortable with anyone outside the family. No therapies or testing went well. Jacob was obviously upset to be somewhere other than home. He was a fussy eater, didn’t sleep well at night, frequently had ear infections, then tubes in his ears, and frequent bowel issues. Initially, we blamed the ear infections and eventually had his hearing checked.

    Our home was full of worry by this time. We knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what or how long it would take to get a handle on it. Jacob now had full-on meltdowns as we tried to get speech therapy and more engagement with him.

    The Diagnosis and Initial Steps 🏫

    Jacob was very independent, probably because he didn’t have language to ask us for things. When Jacob started preschool, he did not engage with the other kids and only with the adults when he needed something. The official diagnosis came in, and Jacob was placed into a self-contained autism room. It was necessary because he had no success in the other room, and the teacher had no clue what to do with him. In the autism self-contained room, the teacher started him on a visual schedule from day one. But, there was only a limited time each child could have, and Jacob was really behind, so we started considering homeschooling.

    The Power of Visual Schedules 📅

    Today's Schedule, Jacob-educatingjacob.com
    Jacob’s earlier schedules could not contain more than 1 item per line.

    From that point on, we used visual schedules at home. I started going to the Teacch office, and they helped me build activities that Jacob could understand without needing language. Now, I can build schedules with work (activities) he needs to do to be a member of the family. He discovered he could learn, do work like the rest of the family, and have activities before movies, trains, toys, etc. Can a schedule help hyperactivity in toddlers? #Autism Challenges🧩

    Finding Our Rhythm 🎬

    It took years to figure things out, and Jacob is still not talking, but we started using movie quotes from movies he liked to see him light up. We were speaking his language. We also started using sign language, which really helped Jacob. Using his hands and the visual of watching someone complete a sign allowed Jacob’s brain to locate the word he wanted to say. He learned basic signs that we used while watching a show called Signing Time. 3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?

    Gaining Control and Peace 🧘‍♂️

    We have more confidence as parents and peace in the home now. Jacob has a schedule, he can communicate some of his wants and needs, he’s doing schoolwork and chores, and we also started homeschooling him and his brother.

    His brother, Nicholas, is now in graduate school and Jacob is grown and living at home with us today. He still does schoolwork, chores and shopping with us and he is able to do so with less anxiety using schedules. His day is chaotic and anxious without schedules. We are all much happier now.

    A Message to Other Autism Parents 💪

    To all the parents out there feeling the weight of an autism diagnosis and the chaos that follows, know that you are not alone. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but with patience, love, and the right strategies, you can create a structured and peaceful environment for your child. Remember, it’s okay to have off days. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time. You’ve got this! 💖

    Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Want more information? Sign up for my ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg Let’s support each other on this journey! 📢💬

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  • Blog, schedules

    How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.

    Change the Tune 🎶

    Music and autism, my husband uses music to improve Jacob’s bad mood. When Jacob starts repeating negative or angst-filled movie quotes, music becomes our go-to tool to redirect his focus and uplift his spirits. 🎥➡️🎵

    We’ve discovered that music he gets excited about—whether it’s tunes we enjoy together or soundtracks from his favorite movies—can work wonders. Below are a couple of playlists that Jacob loves when David is DJing. 🎧🎸

    As parents of children with autism, especially those with limited language skills, finding effective ways to manage emotions and behaviors is crucial. The power of music is AMAZING! Last week, I shared how sign language has significantly helped Jacob. This week, I want to show you how music can also be a fantastic way to redirect a bad mood. 🎤

    It’s hard to stay mad when you’re singing or dancing! Whether your child has expressive language delays or simply needs a mood boost, integrating music into your daily routine can create moments of joy and connection. 🌟

    Join me as we explore the magic of music and how it can transform challenging moments into opportunities for fun and engagement. Check out previous posts:How does mindset change things when raising a child with autism? 🧩

    The Challenge of Sarcastic Quotes 🎬

    When Jacob seems to be stuck in a loop of sarcastic movie quotes, he’s intent on making sure everyone knows the mood he’s feeling. He’s not able to just explain himself or what’s going on inside, as he doesn’t have typical conversations. This can make it hard to understand his emotions and thoughts.

    Using Positive Movie Quotes 🎥

    We use movie quotes from happier parts of the story or ones he enjoys saying frequently. I’m pretty good at this, but his dad and brother are much better at movie quotes because they can really do the voices and impersonations well. 🎭

    Activities and Music Therapy For Autism🎸

    Jacob’s dad excels as the house DJ. Being a musician, he intuitively starts playing Jacob’s favorite upbeat songs to shift his mood. Here’s a blog post I found on music therapy: https://www.theautismpage.com/music-and-autism-music-activities-and-music-therapy/  

    Music therapy has real results with the population of children with autism spectrum disorder. Here is another source to see:http://chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.musictherapy.org/assets/1/7/MT_Autism_2012.pdf

    Here are some playlists we use:

    Upbeat Songs from Movies and Shows

    • Water Buffalo – Veggie Tales
    • Belly Button – Veggie Tales
    • Pizza Angel – Veggie Tales
    • Larry Boy (Rock On) – Veggie Tales
    • In the Belly of the Whale – Jonah

    Classic Rock Hits

    • Don’t Bring Me Down – ELO
    • Shining Star – Earth, Wind & Fire
    • I Can Help – Billy Swan
    • Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

    Worship and Praise Songs

    • I’m Not Ashamed – Newsboys
    • Take Me To Your Leader – Newsboys
    • Wherever We Go – Newsboys
    • Shine – Newsboys
    • In The Belly Of The Whale – Newsboys

    This doesn’t come naturally to me, but it does for my husband. He plays guitar, and music is his go-to for himself and for Jacob. The rhythm and familiarity of the music work wonders in redirecting Jacob’s mood from negative to positive. Let’s learn how autism and music can work together to increase positive feelings🎶

    #musicandautism
    Music and Autism, change the tune!

    Integrating Music into School 📚

    Seeing how well music works with Jacob, I’ve started using YouTube at school, keeping music in the background. It can be challenging to find playlists with safe lyrics, so I stick with what I know. I don’t have time to vet all modern songs for lyrics, so I choose ones I’m certain are appropriate. 🎧

    Music has a positive impact not just on Jacob but also on my students. It helps them, and me, get through the day with a better mood and more focus.  Music and autism  go together because it engages and can calm a child with autism, so give it a try!

    The Influence of Music on Emotions 🎵

    Music can influence your feelings toward movie characters, enhance drama, fear, and even happiness! At home, we use music to promote happiness or increase stamina for cleaning or working out. It’s a powerful tool for setting the tone and energy of any activity. 🏃‍♂️

    The Mental Health Benefits of Music 🎧💆‍♀️

    Music isn’t just beneficial for children with autism; it’s also a powerful tool for parents. Managing the complexities of raising a child with autism can be stressful and emotionally draining. Integrating music into your daily routine can be a great way to boost your mental health and overall well-being. 🌈

    Increasing Positive Emotions

    Listening to your favorite songs can elevate your mood and increase positive emotions. Whether it’s a song that brings back happy memories or an upbeat tune that gets you moving, music has the power to lift your spirits and bring a smile to your face. 😄

    Decreasing Anxiety and Stress in autistic children

    Music is also effective in decreasing anxiety and stress. Gentle, soothing music can create a calming environment, helping to lower stress levels and promote relaxation. For moments of high stress or when you need a break, playing calming music can be a quick way to reset and find peace. 🧘‍♀️

    Choosing the Right Music

    It’s important to choose music that will lift your mood and change your tune positively. Create playlists that include songs you love, whether they are relaxing instrumentals or energetic tracks. Here are some tips:

    • Mood Boosters: Include songs that make you feel happy and energized.
    • Relaxation Tracks: Add calming instrumentals or nature sounds for moments when you need to de-stress.
    • Sing-Alongs: Include tracks that you can sing along to, as singing itself can be a great mood enhancer.

    Music can be your ally in maintaining a positive mindset, even on challenging days. Embrace it as a tool for self-care and let it help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting. 🎶

    Using Music for Autism Spectrum🎼

    So, use your powers for good and use music to show love, happiness, or excitement. In our house, we also use music in a big way for worship. Jacob loves TobyMac, MercyMe, and many others to sing praise songs. It’s another way we connect and find joy together.🙌 #musicandautism #autismcoach

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  • Blog, schedules

    3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?

    Jacob struggled with speaking and communication, but learning sign language helped and made communication and talking fun! Jacob’s language delays often meant frustration and meltdowns because he couldn’t tell us what he wanted. The added sensory and movement of sign language was just what Jake needed to learn and increase his vocabulary.

     

    As a parent, watching your child struggle to communicate can be heart-wrenching. We’ve been there. Our journey with Jacob has had its ups and downs, but introducing American Sign Language (ASL) into his routine was a game-changer. Not only did it provide him with a new way to express himself, but it also bridged the gap between his thoughts and words, reducing his frustration and boosting his confidence.

     

    In this blog post, I want to share how ASL helped Jacob speak in short sentences and how it can benefit your child too. Whether you’re just starting out or looking for new strategies to support your child’s communication, I hope our story can offer some helpful insights and encouragement.

    Below is a snippet of a Facebook Live I did talking about using ASL with Jacob. If you want to watch the whole thing (not long) go to: https://fb.me/e/4uUE8RRw5

    The Challenge of Expressive and Receptive Language

     

    Jacob had a hard time with expressive and receptive language, so telling us what he wanted was difficult. This communication barrier often led to frustration and meltdowns because he couldn’t express his needs clearly.

     

    The Fun of Learning with Signing Time

     

    Learning sign language with the Signing Time videos for kids was fun. We were able to learn together, and Jacob enjoyed being able to show off his new skills. It was also a way to get new videos and books from Signing Time! 📚

     

    Reducing Frustration and Meltdowns

     

    Jacob wasn’t very successful at getting us to understand what he wanted beyond putting our hand on something. This often led to a lot of meltdowns on his end because he was frustrated. It was very upsetting for the rest of the family too. Once he started learning sign language, the frustration lessened because he was able to communicate. 🙌

     

    Building Vocabulary and Language Skills

    Should you use sign language with your child with autism?
    Using Sign Language helped to build Jacob’s vocabulary!

    Learning sign language helped build Jacob’s vocabulary and recall of words he wanted to use. The added sensory input and movement when using sign language was just what Jacob needed to start building short sentences and increase his language skills.

     

    Using Schedules for Predictability and Structure

    The zippered bags contain school work and a short book to read.
    Jacob’s daily school bags for the week!

    Using schedules also helps Jacob because he needs predictability and structure in his day. Before he started reading and learning sign language, we used visual schedules. Visual supports provide a clear and consistent way for Jacob to understand what is expected of him each day.

     

    For those interested in learning more about using visuals to create predictable systems, here is an interesting podcast episode that you can check out: SLP Coffee Talk: Visual Supports Can Create Predictable Systems with Tara Tuchel https://music.amazon.in/podcasts/7bfbbd30-594a-4cce-a4cf-1eb7145aaed4/episodes/3c6dde90-afb4-4154-999f-9ac408c468bc/slp-coffee-talk-visual-supports-can-create-predictable-systems-with-tara-tuchel)

     

    Enhancing Verbal Communication 🗣️

     

    Learning sign language did not decrease Jacob’s speaking to us with his voice; it increased it dramatically. Here is an article I found that supports what we experienced with Jacob. How Sign Language Can Help Your AutisticChild https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autistic-child-sign-language/. 

    If your child is nonverbal and doesn’t increase their vocalization and speaking with their voice, so what! Speaking with sign language is still speaking and communicating your wants and needs. 🤟

     

    Your child will do whatever is easiest for them, and that should be good enough for anyone! Every form of communication is valid, and the goal is to reduce frustration and increase understanding. Celebrate their progress, no matter the form it takes.

     

    Engaging with Signing Time

     

    Jacob had fun learning language with the Signing Time videos. You can explore their resources here: Signing Time https://www.signingtime.com. It looks like they have digital downloads now, but you can also buy DVDs from Amazon. 📺

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  • Blog, schedules

    3 Top Challenges of having an adult son with autism.#autismchallenges🧩

    3-Top-Challenges-of-Having-an-Adult-Child-with-Autism
    #autismchallenges

    I’m diving into the  3 top challenges I’ve faced having an adult son with autism. To my fellow parents, I know you feel my pain! 🌟 Ever feel like you’re juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle? 🤹‍♂️ Welcome to the wild world of parenting an adult child with autism! So grab your coffee, take a seat, and let’s navigate this adventure together! 💙 #autismchallenges🧩

     

    Challenge #1: Keeping Reliable Care for Jacob While We Work

     

    Top 3 Challenges blog
    Challenge #1: Keeping Reliable Care for Jacob While We Work!

     

    Ah, the eternal quest for trustworthy care for our adult child with autism! 🌟 It’s like searching for a unicorn in a marvel movie, am I right? But fear not, fellow adventurers, for we are armed with perseverance and strength! 🦄

     

    Entrusting Jacob’s care to others feels like sending him off on a grand quest without a map or a guidebook. 🗺️ It’s nerve-wracking, to say the least! But hey, we’re not alone in this journey. We’ve enlisted the help of a company that hires background-checked individuals. Yet, even with this safety net, the anxiety lingers like an unwelcome guest at a party. Try well-known agencies like the Autism Society, https://www.autismsociety-nc.org/#

     

    And let’s talk about the perpetual juggling act of work and caregiving. 🤹‍♂️ It’s like trying to tame a lion while balancing on a tightrope! But fret not, my friends, for there’s a legal safeguard in the form of FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act). Just to make sure you are not fired because you have to care for your child. It’s like our superhero cape, offering protection against the evil clutches of employment uncertainty. 💼✨

     

    Check out the government website here: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla

     

    Alright Autism adventurers, take heart! While the road may be rocky, and the challenges daunting, we shall overcome with resilience, determination, and maybe a dash of caffeine! ☕️ Onward, to victory! 🚀 #AutismAwareness 🧩

    Challenge #2: Navigating the Absence Abyss

    What happens when your adult son with autism has caregivers out sick?

     

    Ah, the dreaded sick days saga!  It’s like a whirlwind of chaos that sweeps through our carefully crafted plans, isn’t it? But fear not, for in the face of adversity, we emerge as champions of resilience and adaptability!🤒

     

    When your child’s caregiver calls in sick, and suddenly, you’re thrust into a frantic scramble to find a replacement. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded! But alas, finding someone who can step into your child’s world at a moment’s notice is like searching for a needle in a haystack. 🧩

     

    In the blink of an eye, FMLA becomes our lifeline, our legal shield against the unpredictability of caregiving. It’s like summoning reinforcements to fortify our defenses in the battle against chaos! 💼

     

    Amidst the challenges, the Autism Society stands as a beacon of hope, striving to bridge the gap between need and accessibility. They have introduced Jacob to other workers so that in a moment of need, someone can step in and help. This works only if there’s enough notice. Let’s not forget the logistical nightmare of living outside city limits.  It’s like being stranded on a desert island with limited resources,#AutismIsland!🚗

     

    So, fellow warriors, take a deep breath and summon your inner zen. 🌟 Though the road may be rocky when you have an adult son with autism. The challenges aplenty, we shall prevail with perseverance, humor, and maybe a splash of “Calgon 🛁 take me away” for good measure!  #AutismAwareness 🧩 Ways to have peace? Creating time for yourself, not just your child with autism.

    Challenge #3: Crafting the Perfect Environment for Success

     

    Challenge#3
    Small zippered bags have school work and clothes in garment bags!

     

    Ah, the noble quest for the holy grail of productivity and success!  It’s like embarking on a grand adventure through the labyrinth of chaos, armed with nothing but schedules and calendars as our trusty companions.🏆

     

    Amidst the whirlwind of life, we forged a sanctuary of learning and tranquility for our adult son with autism.  With schedules as our guiding stars, chaos retreated like a defeated dragon, and productivity flourished like wildflowers in spring.🌟

     

    A Collaborative Journey to Success

     

    But here’s the twist: success wasn’t just for Jacob alone; it was a team effort!  We shared our secrets of structure and success with the brave souls entrusted with Jacob’s care, transforming them into allies in our noble quest.💪

     

    And oh, the sweet relief when chaos was banished from our absence!  With a rock-solid foundation of understanding and structure, Jacob’s days unfolded like a well-rehearsed symphony, each note harmonizing with the next in a blissful melody of productivity.🌪️

     

    But let’s not forget the cardinal rule of parenting: consistency is key! Check out this previous  blog post: Help! 3 Ways a schedule can help sensory issues and communication barriers? #Autism Challenges🧩 Like master craftsmen, we meticulously crafted a framework of structure and procedures, ensuring that every interaction and every moment was a stepping stone on the path to success. 🔑

     

    So, dear comrades in arms, do not fear the daunting task before you! 🛡️ With a dash of consistency, a sprinkle of structure, and a hearty dose of determination, you too can forge an environment where success blooms like a garden in the sun. 🌷 #ParentingSuccess 🌈

    Want more tips? Download my free guide: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/o01di34gwl

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