#CALMFramework

  • Blog, schedules

    How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Managing autism chaos and stress as a parent
    #VisualSchedules #AutismLife #MomLifeWins

    Managing Autism Chaos and Stress as a Parent

    Achieving CALM on Autism Island  is truly a journey, and I can tell you from experience—it’s not always smooth sailing! Managing autism chaos and stress as a parent in the early years, we were overwhelmed with frustration and fear because we didn’t know how autism would affect Jacob or our family. Fear kept us stuck in a place of chaos for a long time. We had no roadmap, and I constantly questioned myself as a parent, wondering if I was doing enough or if I was the “worst mom ever.” There were no mentors, no clear answers, and it felt like we were alone on this chaotic island.

    Fast forward to today, year 27 of our journey, and while there are still challenges, we now live with calm, structure, and without the chaos and stress of those early years. This transformation didn’t happen overnight. It came from creating routines, using visual schedules, and following the CALM framework I’ve built over the years. And that’s why I started this blog—to share my experiences and help other moms who are feeling just like I did back then.

    In this post, I’m going to walk you through the steps that helped us turn our chaotic island into a place of calm and peace, so you can create that same calm in your daily life on the spectrum.

     

    Managing daily life autism chaos and stress as a parent
    Managing daily life autism chaos and stress as a parent

    Daily Life Tips for Parents of Autistic Children 

     

    I lost my confidence and joy as a mom the day I was hit with Jacob’s autism diagnosis. What I initially thought was just a speech delay turned into something much bigger—autism. It felt like a tidal wave crashing over our family, leaving me unsure of how to move forward. After months of research (remember dial-up internet?!), I found papers documenting behaviors and problems, but nothing really helped me create a plan for Jacob or our family.

     

    That’s when I took things into my own hands and decided to get my master’s degree in special education. Now, I want to be clear—you do not need a teaching degree to help your child. I went to that extreme because I was blindsided by the diagnosis and wanted answers. I was emotional and being a little extra! My confidence was gone so I went a little overboard to get it back. But you already have the most important thing: you know your child better than anyone. With the right tools, you can create calm in your home and build a life of joy and confidence for your family.  https://aheartforallstudents.com/autism-calming-strategies/

     

    How to Achieve Calm in Autism Parenting

     

    In order to achieve calm in my parenting, I needed both knowledge and a plan. The key breakthrough for us came when I learned to create visual schedules for Jacob. These simple tools became a game-changer, giving Jacob a way to understand his day without feeling overwhelmed by language or anxiety. 

     

    At first, we started small—just a few daily activities were placed on his schedule. But over time, these schedules gave Jacob the confidence to take on more. As he began doing small chores and following his schedule, the meltdowns decreased dramatically. He was no longer trying to control everything around him because the structure was already in place. That alone was GOLD for us as a family.

     

    By reducing Jacob’s anxiety and meltdowns, our home shifted from a place of chaos to one of calm. We could finally relax and enjoy being together, even as we faced new challenges. I began to feel more confident as a mom and started savoring more moments with Jacob. As his anxiety lessened, so did mine.

     

    Creating Structure for Children with Autism

     

    Children with autism, like Jacob, crave structure and routine. It brings them comfort, allowing them to navigate their day without feeling like they’re constantly in “fight or flight” mode. Managing autism chaos and stress as a parent, it’s our job is to provide that structure through simple routines that eliminate stress and overwhelm.

     

    At @EducatingJacob, we teach the CALM framework, and it all starts with Consistent Action Forward. This doesn’t mean we micromanage every moment of the day, but we do create visual schedules and routines for daily tasks. These schedules set our children up for success, and they don’t need to be complicated to be effective.  Stop engaging in power struggles! Use redirection for your autistic child.

     

    Start small and simple. Begin with something your child already does well. For Jacob, this meant starting with tasks he was already somewhat familiar with—like brushing his teeth or putting on his shoes. We celebrated every win, no matter how small. With each success, we added new tasks, slowly building his routine.

     

    Celebrate every win. Whether it’s following the schedule for one task or completing an entire routine, each small victory builds momentum. When your child feels successful, they are more likely to embrace the schedule, and that’s when you can add new elements without resistance.

     

    Once the routine is in place and your child is following it consistently, you can rinse and repeat—adding new tasks as your child becomes more comfortable. Over time, this builds a daily routine that fits your family’s needs and sets your child up for a lifetime of calm and independence.

     

    From Chaos to Calm: The Power of Visual Schedules

     

    Our journey on Autism Island started with fear, frustration, and a lot of chaos. But once we began using visual schedules and followed the CALM framework, everything changed. The schedules became a tool that reduced Jacob’s anxiety, improved his communication, and gave him the confidence to navigate his day.🌴

     

    These tools not only helped Jacob thrive but also helped our entire family relax and find peace. My confidence as a mom returned, and I started to see the brighter days ahead. How are using schedules improving our autistic child’s daily life?

     

    Get-a-plan-and-a-Visual-Schedule
    #VisualSchedule #GetAPlan
    Tips and Strategies for Achieving CALM on Autism Island

     

    1. Start Small with Visual Schedules  

       Begin by incorporating simple tasks into your child’s visual schedule. Focus on activities they are already familiar with to build confidence and reduce resistance. Over time, you can add more complexity, but keep it manageable at first.

     

    1. Be Consistent with Daily Routines  

       Consistency is key to reducing anxiety. Stick to the schedule every day to help your child feel secure and in control. The more consistent you are, the more they will rely on the routine to guide them.

     

    1. Celebrate Every Win  

       Whether it’s completing one small task or following the entire schedule, celebrate these moments! Positive reinforcement encourages your child to keep going and builds their self-esteem.

     

    1. Use the Schedule to Reduce Meltdowns 

       Visual schedules eliminate the need for a lot of verbal instructions, which can sometimes provoke meltdowns in children with autism. By pointing to the schedule, you provide clear direction without overwhelming your child with language.

     

    1. Gradually Introduce Change  

       Once your child is comfortable with their routine, start introducing small changes. Whether it’s adding a new task or modifying the schedule, go slowly and allow your child to adjust before moving on. Don’t overwhelm yourself or your child by changing everything at once.

     

    1. Stay Calm and Flexible  

       It’s important to remain calm, even when things don’t go as planned. Flexibility will help you adjust to your child’s needs while still keeping the routine intact. If your child struggles with a new task, model and assist until your child can do independently. It shouldn’t be part of an independent schedule until it’s able to be done without you helping.

     

    1. Incorporate Fun and Joy  

       Use the visual schedule to include fun activities that your child enjoys. This makes the schedule feel rewarding and helps them look forward to following it. Remember to balance structure with moments of joy! You can offer rewards at the end of a successful task, end of day or when they are older the end of week. Just remember to always acknowledge and celebrate the wins.

     

    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟

    📅 Schedule a discovery call
    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #AutismParenting #VisualSchedules#CALMFramework #AutismLife #DailyRoutinesForAutism #AutismTipsForParents #AutismAnxietyReliefCreatingStructureForAutism #AutismMomLife #FromChaosToCalm

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    The fire does not consume us, life on Autism Island! Autism daily.

    “When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” 🔥 Isaiah 43:2
    Faith keeps us grounded and strong.

    Autism parenting challenge, Life on Autism Island!🔥🌊

    Autism parenting challenges and rewards are a part of our everyday life. After 27 years on this journey with our son Jacob, who just celebrated his birthday in August, we’ve faced many ups and downs. As a family of four—Jacob, his older brother, and us, his parents—we’ve grown and learned so much. But that doesn’t mean we have it all figured out. Life on Autism Island is full of surprises, adjustments, and yes, setbacks.

    Despite these challenges, we hold onto the promise from Isaiah 43:2: “When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” 🔥 This journey—this fire—does not consume us. With love, grace, and a strong commitment to each other, we continue to push forward through whatever comes our way.

    As we move into fall, we are once again facing new transitions and adjustments, much like we discussed in last week’s blog on seasonal changes. In this post, I’ll share more about the daily realities of life on Autism Island, the struggles, the rewards, and how we navigate it all with resilience and hope.

    Autism parenting challenges and rewards 🔥💙

    Autism parenting challenges and rewards have been at the heart of our 27-year journey with Jacob. As we walk through each season of life on Autism Island, we’ve learned that faith, family, and preparation are key. With Jacob’s sensory sensitivities and rigid routines, every day brings its own challenges, but we’ve also seen the rewards of patience, love, and growth over time.

    This journey isn’t perfect, and it’s not without its setbacks. But with God’s grace and our commitment to each other, we’ve learned to use tools like visual schedules and strategies from the CALM framework to help Jacob navigate his world. Our journey is proof that, with perseverance, things can get better. 🙏💪

    Autism Daily life joke
    As an Autism Parent you will need CALM and humor!

    The Power of Visual Schedules 🗓️

    One of the main tools that has transformed our daily life is visual schedules. Jacob’s love for routine means that any change—especially moving from one season to another—can be hard for him to accept. For example, this morning was the first chilly day of the season, and it was time to wear a hoodie. Since Jacob is used to wearing short sleeves, this transition didn’t go smoothly at first.

    What helps is incorporating the clothing change into his visual schedule. I lay out his clothes in advance and point them out on the schedule, giving him time to process that he’ll need a jacket or hoodie before we head out the door. This practice helps him see what’s coming and allows us to avoid some of the meltdowns that could occur without preparation. Check out this dad 👉 https://pin.it/3l8R65S46

     

    Redirection: Moving from Resistance to Cooperation 🎯

    Even with a visual schedule in place, Jacob sometimes resists new transitions. But instead of getting frustrated, I use redirection to help shift his focus. For example, if he’s upset about the hoodie, I’ll point out something exciting coming up later in the day, like picking out a pumpkin or getting his favorite snack. 🎃🍪

    Another effective tactic we use is referencing a favorite movie. Jacob loves quoting movies, so we might start exchanging movie quotes to lighten the mood and redirect his attention from the challenge at hand to something he enjoys. This method works wonders in getting him out the door without turning a small issue into a bigger battle. Stop engaging in power struggles! Use redirection for your autistic child.

     

    Faith, Family, and the CALM Framework ✨💪

    As we move through life on Autism Island, our faith has been a crucial part of how we manage autism parenting challenges and rewards. Isaiah 43:2 reminds us that the fire does not consume us, and we hold onto that promise every day. Ways to have peace? Creating time for yourself, not just your child with autism.

    Our family has learned to lean on God, and each other, showing love and grace as we guide Jacob through the tough moments. This means practicing the CALM strategies consistently:

    – C. onsistent Action Forward: Maintaining routines and schedules helps Jacob feel more secure.
    – A. lways Celebrate Wins: When Jacob follows the schedule, we celebrate, even if it’s something small. 🎉
    – L. earning to Create Schedules: Visual schedules are essential to our daily life.
    – M. indset: Keeping a calm and patient mindset helps Jacob feel more at ease.

    By using these strategies, we’ve been able to grow as a family and give Jacob the structure and support he needs to thrive.

     

    Journaling-helps-to-look-back-on-past-struggles-and-victories-
    Autism Daily Life can be difficult, journal to see your progress!
     Reflecting on the Journey 📔

    I also keep a journal to document our experiences. Writing down our daily challenges, feelings, and wins gives me a way to reflect on how far we’ve come. Looking back at times when we struggled, it’s clear that the consistent use of visual schedules, redirection, and our faith in God has made a real difference in our lives.

    When I feel overwhelmed, I go back to those journal entries to remind myself of God’s faithfulness and the progress we’ve made. It’s not always easy, but reflecting on our journey gives me the strength to keep going, knowing that each day we’re learning and growing as a family. I’m also sharing our experience to hopefully help others who are feeling frustrated or lost.

     

    Give Yourself and Your Child Grace 🌟💙

    We’ve come a long way from the early days of Jacob’s diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean every day is smooth. There are still tough moments, and emotions can change quickly in our home. Jacob can go from happy to grumpy in a matter of minutes, and some days it feels like we’re walking through fire. But I remind myself that faith, preparation, and kindness are what carry us through.

    If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it’s this: give yourself and your child grace. Don’t expect everything to be perfect. Practice using the strategies that work—like visual schedules and redirection—and trust that things will get better with time. The more you prepare, the more you’ll find moments of joy, even in the midst of challenges. You also don’t have to walk alone!

     

    Tips and Strategies for Navigating Autism Season Challenges 🌟

    1. Use Visual Schedules Consistently 🗓️

    Visual schedules are a lifeline for children with autism, especially when navigating seasonal transitions like moving from summer to fall. Consistency is key. By showing your child what to expect ahead of time, you reduce anxiety and help them adjust to new routines with ease. Whether it’s putting on a hoodie or switching up daily activities, make sure it’s reflected in their schedule.

    2. Practice Redirection 🎯

    When resistance or frustration arises, redirection can be your best tool. Shift the focus to something your child enjoys—whether it’s a favorite activity, snack, or even a beloved movie quote. This method helps steer them away from negative emotions and keeps the day moving forward.

    3. Celebrate Small Wins 🎉

    Even small victories deserve to be celebrated. If your child follows the visual schedule, give praise or a reward, no matter how minor the accomplishment may seem. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and encourages them to keep progressing. Celebrate wins as they come, and remember, progress is progress!

    4. Keep the CALM Framework in Mind ✨

    – C. onsistent Action Forward: Maintaining routines and schedules helps Jacob feel more secure.
    – A. lways Celebrate Wins: When Jacob follows the schedule, we celebrate, even if it’s something small. 🎉
    – L. earning to Create Schedules: Visual schedules are essential to our daily life.
    – M. indset: Keeping a calm and patient mindset helps Jacob feel more at ease.

    When you use the CALM framework, you’re giving your child the tools they need to navigate their day, while also giving yourself the space to be patient and kind.

    5. Incorporate Faith and Tradition 🙏

    If your family leans on faith, incorporating Bible verses, prayers, or spiritual practices into your child’s daily routine can create a sense of grounding. For Jacob, we use Bible verses as writing practice, and during holidays like Christmas and Easter, we use visual countdowns to help him understand important events. Building these traditions into your routine offers spiritual growth while maintaining structure.

    6. Journal Your Journey 📔

    Keeping a journal can help you track your child’s progress and reflect on how far you’ve come. When the tough days hit, looking back on past victories will remind you that you’re not alone in this journey. Journaling gives you the perspective needed to celebrate your wins and learn from the challenges. Remember the M in CALM is mindset-your mental health is important!

    7. Give Yourself and Your Child Grace 💙

    You won’t get everything right every day—and that’s okay. Give yourself the grace to make mistakes and learn from them. Give your child grace as they learn to navigate life with autism. By offering love, patience, and kindness, you’re making the journey more manageable for everyone.

    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟

    📅 Schedule a discovery call
    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting

     

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    4 Things I Wish I Would Have Known After Getting the Autism Diagnosis

    4-Things-I-Wish-I-Would-Have-Known-After-Getting-the-Autism-Diagnosis
    We all need help and support on this autism journey.

    Autism Diagnosis Tips for Parents

    When I first heard the words “autism diagnosis” for Jacob, my world spun into chaos. I felt like I was fumbling through a fog, unsure of what to do or where to turn. I’m here to share autism diagnosis tips for parents. If you’re reading this, you’re likely on a similar journey, and I want to share four crucial lessons I’ve learned along the way. These strategies have been a beacon of hope and structure for our family, and I hope they can guide you too.

    Autism Tips for Parents Visual Schedules

    What I Wish I Knew:
    Visual schedules are a game-changer for children with autism. This is my big tip for parents getting an autism diagnosis.They provide structure and predictability, helping your child understand what to expect and when.📅 

    Why It’s Important:

    – Reduces Anxiety: Knowing what comes next helps your child feel more secure. For Jacob, having a clear visual schedule transformed his daily experience from chaos to calm. 🧘‍♂️

    – Improves Transition: Visual schedules make it easier for your child to move from one activity to another without meltdowns. Transitions became smoother for Jacob once we implemented this strategy. 🚦

    – Encourages Independence: Your child can learn to follow routines independently. Jacob learned to manage his own day, which boosted his confidence and autonomy. 🏆

    How to Implement:

    – Use images, symbols, or photos to create a daily schedule.
    – Keep it simple and consistent, especially at the beginning.
    – Gradually introduce more complex tasks as your child becomes comfortable.

    Tip: Start with a morning routine and build from there. Consistency is key!

     

    Build a Strong Support Network 👪

    What I Wish I Knew:
    You’re not in this alone! My next autism diagnosis tip for parents! Building a support network can make a huge difference for you and your child.

    Why It’s Important:

    – Emotional Support: Connect with other parents who understand your journey. This sense of community can be incredibly comforting. 🤝

    – Resource Sharing: Learn from others’ experiences and get advice on therapies and services. Other parents often have insights and tips that can be invaluable. 💡

    – Community Connection: Create a sense of belonging for your child and family. Having a support network helps everyone feel less isolated. 🌍

    How to Implement:

    – Join local and online autism support groups.
    – Connect with professionals who specialize in autism.
    – Reach out to family and friends for support.

    Tip: Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Support is a powerful tool!

     

    Prioritize Sensory-Friendly Environments 🧩

    What I Wish I Knew:
    Next, on my list of autism diagnosis tips for parents that battle sensory issues. Children with autism often have unique sensory needs. Creating a sensory-friendly environment can enhance your child’s comfort and ability to learn.

    Why It’s Important:

    – Enhances Focus: Reduces sensory overload, allowing your child to concentrate better. This was crucial for Jacob, who could become overwhelmed by certain stimuli. 🎯

    – Promotes Calmness: A calming environment helps regulate emotions and behavior. A peaceful setting can prevent or de-escalate potential meltdowns. 🌿

    – Supports Development: Sensory-friendly spaces can aid in learning and growth. Jacob thrived in an environment tailored to his sensory needs. 🌱

    How to Implement:

    – Identify your child’s sensory triggers and preferences.
    – Adjust lighting, noise, and textures in your home to suit your child’s needs.
    – Create a designated calm-down area with sensory tools and toys.

    Tip: A simple sensory bin or fidget toy can work wonders for self-regulation!

     

    Learn and Adapt with Your Child 📚
    Finding-your-rhythm-after-an-autism-diagnosis-is-possible
    Consistency and confidence will come with action! Always learning.

    What I Wish I Knew:
    Every child with autism is unique, and so is their journey. Be prepared to learn and adapt as you discover what works best for your child. Read  👉🏼Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    Why It’s Important:

    – Individualized Learning: No one-size-fits-all approach exists. Each child’s needs and strengths are different. Jacob taught us that flexibility and adaptation were key. 🔍

    – Continuous Growth: Your child will change and grow, and your strategies should evolve too. Stay open to new methods and insights. 🌈

    – Parental Empowerment: As you learn alongside your child, you’ll become more empowered and confident in your parenting skills. 💪

    How to Implement:

    – Stay informed about autism research and therapies.
    – Be open to trying new strategies and tools.
    – Embrace the journey and celebrate the unique qualities of your child.

    Tip: Keep a journal to track your child’s progress and reflect on your own growth as a parent. Celebrate your wins too!

     

    Applying the CALM Framework to Our Journey

    When Jacob was diagnosed, we developed our CALM framework to guide us through the challenges:

    1. Consistent Action Forward (C)
    – Build routines and stick to them. Consistency helps create a stable environment that reduces anxiety.

    2. Always Celebrate Wins (A)
    – Acknowledge every success, no matter how small. Celebrating milestones fosters a positive atmosphere.

    3. Learning to Create Schedules (L)
    – Use visual schedules to bring peace and order. They help your child understand their day and reduce stress.

    4. Mindset Matters (M)
    – Embrace the journey with a positive outlook. Remember, you are your child’s greatest advocate. How does mindset change things when raising a child with autism? 🧩

    CALM-frameworks-for-educatingjacob.com
    CALM over Chaos and frustration!
    Final Thoughts 🌟

    Last, on my list of autism diagnosis tips for parents Raising a child with autism is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs. By applying the CALM framework—Consistent Action, Always Celebrate Wins, Learning to Create Schedules, and Mindset—you can create a nurturing environment where your child can thrive. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Together, we can build a brighter future for our children. 💙 Here’s a blog post about an adult diagnosis: https://www.duchessofneverland.com/home/autism-diagnosis

    Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey! 📢💬 Want more info, download the ebook! https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg

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