#EducatingJacob

  • Heartbreak to Hope: A Mom’s Mission Teaching and Learning Autism.

    Problem-and-solution-askmelissa-autismparentingjourney
    I learned that confidence as a parent comes from having a plan and a support system.

    Autism Parenting Journey

    Educating Jacob began from a place of heartbreak—Jacob’s autism diagnosis left me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and uncertain about how I could give him the life he deserved. My mission of the autism parenting journey quickly became clear: to educate Jacob, help him thrive, and show him a world of love, stability, and possibility. In those early years, I was consumed by doubts and fears of falling short. But over time, with a plan, support, and my confidence restored, I found my footing.

    Today, our home is no longer filled with chaos, and Jacob is learning, growing, and thriving alongside us. This blog post isn’t just about our journey; it’s a message to moms like you, who may feel overwhelmed and uncertain. You don’t need a teaching degree to make a difference—you just need the right tools, a supportive community, and the confidence to keep going. I’m living proof that you can transform heartbreak into hope.

    Heartbreak to Hope: My Autism Parenting Journey 💙

    When Jacob was first diagnosed with autism, our lives were filled with uncertainty and chaos. I was consumed with questions, doubts, and a fear that I wasn’t enough for him. But along the way, I discovered that our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope wasn’t just about helping Jacob—it was about transforming myself, too. Today, I want to share what helped us move from overwhelming chaos to a life of calm and confidence.

    If you’re a parent struggling to find a way forward, I want you to know that you’re not alone. You’re more than capable, and with the right plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can build a life of stability and joy for your family. How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Step 1: Embrace the Power of a Plan 📅

    In the early days, I was overwhelmed, trying to tackle each new behavior, therapy, and challenge without a roadmap. I realized that to create any sense of calm, I needed a structured plan for Jacob and for myself. This plan became our foundation and the first real step in our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope.

    A plan doesn’t have to be complicated; start small:

    • Create a daily routine with a visual schedule. Even simple tasks, like morning routines or meal times, provide comfort and predictability for your child.
    • Break tasks into manageable steps so that both you and your child feel a sense of accomplishment with each step forward.

    Having a plan in place will help you feel more in control, and it gives your child a sense of security, knowing what comes next.  How are using schedules improving our autistic child’s daily life?

    Step 2: Build a Support System 🤝

    I quickly learned that autism parenting isn’t a solo journey. It takes a village, and connecting with others—friends, family, support groups—helped me feel less isolated. I found people who understood our struggles, cheered our small wins, and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this journey.

    Ways to build your support network:

    • Join local or online autism support groups where you can ask questions and get tips from parents on similar paths.
    • Involve trusted family members in your routines and caregiving. The more they understand your daily life, the better they can support you.
    • Reach out to professionals like therapists or coaches if you’re feeling stuck. Sometimes a fresh perspective makes all the difference.

    Remember, your support network can help lift some of the weight you’re carrying, making it easier to be present and confident for your child.

    autism-parenting-journey-and-visual-schedules@educatingjacob.com
    They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see what’s coming up next, one task at a time.

    Step 3: Create Calm with Visual Schedules 📊

    Once I put a plan and support system in place, I focused on ways to create calm in our daily life. Visual schedules were an absolute game-changer for us. They gave Jacob a way to see what his day would look like, which lowered his anxiety and helped him navigate transitions.

    Why visual schedules work:

    • They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see what’s coming up next, one task at a time.
    • They make routines predictable, which provides security and calm, especially during new activities.
    • They empower your child to anticipate changes and understand that the day has a structure.

    With visual schedules, the days became less stressful for Jacob and for me, allowing us to enjoy our time together more fully.  Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    Step 4: Celebrate Every Small Win 🎉

    In our autism parenting journey, I’ve learned that celebrating the small things makes a huge difference. Every small success—whether it’s completing a chore, staying calm during an outing, or following the visual schedule—is worth celebrating.

    How to celebrate:

    • Use positive reinforcement like a sticker chart or reward system that your child enjoys.
    • Celebrate with them by doing something small, like a happy dance, a high-five, or a special treat.
    • Reflect on your own wins as well. Take a moment to recognize your progress, resilience, and hard work.

    Celebrating small wins boosts confidence for both you and your child. It’s a reminder that every step forward counts, and each one brings you closer to a calmer, more joyful home.

    Step 5: Believe in Yourself as a Parent 💪

    The hardest lesson in my journey was to trust myself. I spent years feeling inadequate, questioning whether I was capable of being the mom Jacob needed. But as I watched our life slowly transform from heartbreak to hope, I realized that no one knew Jacob better than I did. I didn’t need a degree to be the best parent for him; I needed confidence.

    If you’re struggling, remember this: You are your child’s biggest advocate and greatest teacher. Trust your instincts, believe in your ability to provide the best for your child, and let go of the idea that you need to be perfect. Your child needs your love, patience, and guidance more than anything else.

    moving-forward-with-hope-autism-parenting-journey
    I’m here, sharing my story, so you don’t have to start from scratch.

    Moving Forward with Hope 🌈

    Our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope has taught me so much about resilience, love, and the strength I didn’t know I had. Today, our home is filled with routines, calm, and—most importantly—hope. Jacob is thriving, and I’m no longer overwhelmed by the chaos that once felt impossible to manage.

    To every parent in the early stages, feeling like you’re drowning in chaos: with a plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can bring calm and joy back to your home. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know how challenging it can feel, but brighter days are ahead. You don’t have to walk this journey alone—I’m here, sharing my story, so you don’t have to start from scratch.  https://autismjourney.org/

    Let’s move forward together, from heartbreak to hope.

    Tips for Moving Forward with Confidence and Calm ✨

    Here are a few tips to help you continue on your journey from chaos to calm:

    1. Start with One Small Change
      Don’t feel pressured to transform everything at once. Choose one area of your routine to focus on, like introducing a visual schedule or setting up a consistent bedtime routine. Small changes add up, bringing calm over time.
    2. Seek Support When You Need It
      Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Connect with other autism parents, support groups, or even an autism coach. Having someone to talk to who understands can make all the difference.
    3. Celebrate Your Progress
      Track your progress, no matter how small. Write down the wins and the breakthroughs, both for your child and yourself. Reflecting on these moments will remind you of how far you’ve come and help you stay motivated.
    4. Be Flexible, but Consistent
      It’s okay to adjust the plan if something isn’t working, but stick with your overall routines. Consistency provides comfort for your child and helps reinforce positive habits.
    5. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion
      Parenting a child with autism is a marathon, not a sprint. Be kind to yourself on tough days, and remember that each step, no matter how small, is progress. You’re doing an incredible job!

    With each of these steps, you’re building a calm, structured, and joyful home. Moving forward from heartbreak to hope isn’t just possible—it’s a journey you’re already on. Here’s to more peaceful, fulfilling days ahead for you and your family! 🌈

    🧐Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns? 🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm.🌟

    📅Schedule a discovery call👉🏼 Comment CALL or DM me and I’ll send a link 🔗 

    Let’s work together to create a structured, peaceful home where your child can thrive.📚

    Book a coaching session today and start seeing real, positive changes in your family’s life! 💙 

    #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #askmelissa

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  • Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    My Home Was in Chaos

    Before Jacob’s autism diagnosis, doctors reassured us with comments like, “He’s meeting his other developmental milestones” and “Boys talk later than girls sometimes.” Jacob was 2 years old and still had no language. After a mom fit in the doctor’s office, they finally put in a referral for speech therapy. It took almost 6 months to get into the speech therapist covered by our insurance. After the first visit, she told me to get him tested and into preschool.

    autism mom worry, When I'm afraid, Psalm 56:3
    1 Corinthians 3:11 “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ”

     

    Autism Diagnosis: The Fear 😔

    Researching autism and therapies!
    Researching and going to approved therapies for autism!

    My confidence as a mom plummeted, and the fear was real. My first son was perfect, with all the typical milestones. It took another 4-6 months to get Jacob tested for autism through the schools and Teacch, who were wonderful and conducted thorough evaluations over several days. The meltdowns at the testing sites stripped the rest of my confidence. I felt like I was being judged by everyone when they happened. I felt clueless.

    Navigating the Early Stages 🍼

    Meanwhile, I learned from watching the speech therapist. Jacob was not comfortable with anyone outside the family. No therapies or testing went well. Jacob was obviously upset to be somewhere other than home. He was a fussy eater, didn’t sleep well at night, frequently had ear infections, then tubes in his ears, and frequent bowel issues. Initially, we blamed the ear infections and eventually had his hearing checked.

    Our home was full of worry by this time. We knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what or how long it would take to get a handle on it. Jacob now had full-on meltdowns as we tried to get speech therapy and more engagement with him.

    The Diagnosis and Initial Steps 🏫

    Jacob was very independent, probably because he didn’t have language to ask us for things. When Jacob started preschool, he did not engage with the other kids and only with the adults when he needed something. The official diagnosis came in, and Jacob was placed into a self-contained autism room. It was necessary because he had no success in the other room, and the teacher had no clue what to do with him. In the autism self-contained room, the teacher started him on a visual schedule from day one. But, there was only a limited time each child could have, and Jacob was really behind, so we started considering homeschooling.

    The Power of Visual Schedules 📅

    Today's Schedule, Jacob-educatingjacob.com
    Jacob’s earlier schedules could not contain more than 1 item per line.

    From that point on, we used visual schedules at home. I started going to the Teacch office, and they helped me build activities that Jacob could understand without needing language. Now, I can build schedules with work (activities) he needs to do to be a member of the family. He discovered he could learn, do work like the rest of the family, and have activities before movies, trains, toys, etc. Can a schedule help hyperactivity in toddlers? #Autism Challenges🧩

    Finding Our Rhythm 🎬

    It took years to figure things out, and Jacob is still not talking, but we started using movie quotes from movies he liked to see him light up. We were speaking his language. We also started using sign language, which really helped Jacob. Using his hands and the visual of watching someone complete a sign allowed Jacob’s brain to locate the word he wanted to say. He learned basic signs that we used while watching a show called Signing Time. 3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?

    Gaining Control and Peace 🧘‍♂️

    We have more confidence as parents and peace in the home now. Jacob has a schedule, he can communicate some of his wants and needs, he’s doing schoolwork and chores, and we also started homeschooling him and his brother.

    His brother, Nicholas, is now in graduate school and Jacob is grown and living at home with us today. He still does schoolwork, chores and shopping with us and he is able to do so with less anxiety using schedules. His day is chaotic and anxious without schedules. We are all much happier now.

    A Message to Other Autism Parents 💪

    To all the parents out there feeling the weight of an autism diagnosis and the chaos that follows, know that you are not alone. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but with patience, love, and the right strategies, you can create a structured and peaceful environment for your child. Remember, it’s okay to have off days. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time. You’ve got this! 💖

    Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Want more information? Sign up for my ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg Let’s support each other on this journey! 📢💬

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