family life

  • Uncategorized

    5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    Parenting often feels like a circus act, a precarious balancing act while juggling flaming torches. This act becomes even more challenging when you’re raising a special needs child who has an uncanny talent for tap-dancing on your last nerve. But fear not, you’re not alone under the big top of parenthood.

    Finding Humor in the Chaos

    Imagine this: Jacob, my son, is in the throes of an emotional meltdown, and I’m teetering on the brink of my own emotional precipice. His emotions are performing gymnastic feats while I struggle not to stumble over my own emotional shoelaces.

    #parentingtip
    Help them find their calm.

    Time-Out for Both

    While you might want to resort to shouting, I’ve stumbled upon a magical secret. Instead of adding my own vocal fireworks to the spectacle, I calmly send him to his room. And guess where I head? You guessed it—my own. It becomes my sanctuary, a place to contemplate the mysteries of life, such as the curious case of vanishing socks.

    A Magical Secret

    But here’s the remarkable part, folks: once I’ve rediscovered my own sense of calm, I return as the superhero of redirection. Armed with his trusty schedule, I make adjustments like a maestro conducting a symphony of serenity.

    When I return home after being out on errands or work, it’s a transition.

    When I return home from the day’s adventures, Jacob’s radar is on high alert. He emerges from his room, Kindle in hand, armed with a repertoire of movie quotes that could rival Shakespeare. My husband and co-pilot on this rollercoaster ride, informs me that Jacob has been content and industrious in my absence. Yet, of course, he eagerly awaits my attention.

    Instead of plunging into a sea of chores, I dedicate precious moments to indulging Jacob’s cinematic enthusiasm. We trade lines and anecdotes as if we’re strolling down a Hollywood red carpet, not the doorway of our modest abode.

    Children with autism often march to their own drum.
    Children with autism often march to their own drum

    Children with autism often march to their own drum, which can resemble a rock concert when emotions take center stage. This is where a well-structured plan for the day, akin to a symphony score, comes into play. Without it, navigating transitions becomes as challenging as corralling a group of hyperactive squirrels. Need help with schedules see this post: https://educatingjacob.com/how-using-schedules-can-change-your-childs-life/

    Set up for Success

    We need our own toolkits of tranquility. Buckle up as we embark on a journey to discover five ways to regain parental calm amidst the whirlwind of special needs parenting. Trust me; we’ve got this!

    So when your child is dancing on that last nerve, try the following:

    1. The Gratitude Journal Getaway

    Seek solace in your room and wield the written word to restore your peace. Grab your gratitude journal, not just a book, but a portal to a tranquil realm.

    With each pen stroke, you immortalize moments, victories, and triumphs. Chronicle battles conquered, heartaches soothed, and small wins that might vanish amidst the daily chaos.

    These gratitude strokes are your lifeline, offering respite. They’re tangible proof of your resilience, a map guiding you back to your journey’s heart. Amidst the whirlwind, you’ll find you’ve traveled far.

    Take a break
    #takeabreak
    1. The Bath-time Escape

    When the pressure mounts, take refuge in your fortress of relaxation: the bathtub. Sometimes, nothing beats a warm bath, accompanied by red wine and soothing candles. Add a bath bomb, some softly flickering candles, and an audiobook to soak away the stress.

    1. Movie Magic

    Escape into the world of comedy or action. Whether it’s classic romantic comedies like “While You Were Sleeping” or thrilling action-packed Marvel movies, losing yourself in a film can be the perfect distraction. It’s a chance to unwind and recharge.

    #SmallActsOfCalm #SpecialLove
    Sometimes just a hug and redirection will calm strong emotions.
    1. Reading Retreat

    Delve into the world of books. Whether you’re into the page-turning suspense of James Patterson or the humor of Janet Evanovich, a good book can transport you to another realm. For those seeking solace in faith, find strength and comfort in the Psalms and Proverbs.

    make exercise more fun!
    Use exercise to reset and calm. Don’t forget to make it fun!
    1. The Great Escape

    Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. My husband opts for exercise, while I find solace in a trip to the grocery store or sharing tea with my best friend. A brief outing can work wonders, allowing you to return to your child with renewed patience and perspective.

    You can’t take care of others without first taking care of yourself.

    Remember, in the chaos of parenting a special needs child, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. These five escapes can help you regain your calm, ensuring you have the emotional reserves to support your child effectively.

    Read More

  • Blog, Uncategorized

    Games, TV and Cell Phones. 3 ways we use to strike a balance for our autistic son.

     

    screen time for autistic children
    Watching movies, games and his phone had Jacob stuck in a loop.

    Screen Time for Autistic Children 📺📱🕹️

     

    Screen time for autistic children in today’s digital age.  A waltz of wires, pixels, and the occasional meltdown thrown in for good measure. As parents, we’re all familiar with the perplexing puzzle of balancing our children’s love for games, TV, and cell phones, especially when they come with a side order of learning disabilities. Balancing screen time for autistic children can be a unique challenge, but it’s a necessary one. Here’s an article warning of screen hazards: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10442849/

    Screen time, autism, and childhood development!

    Now, I know what you’re thinking – “Screen time is the nemesis of childhood development!” Trust me; I’ve read the articles, heard the warnings, and contemplated creating a bonfire with every device in the house just to free our kids from their pixelated prisons.

     

    But here’s the twist in our tale: I’ve also stumbled upon studies suggesting that video games can miraculously morph into concentration enhancers for our ADHD champs. Oh, and let’s not forget the cautionary tales of phones, iPads, and games birthing OCD tendencies.

     

    Enter Jacob, my youngest progeny, who is legally an adult but will stick around with family until heaven is our permanent address. My husband and I, well, let’s just say we’re charter members of the “How Do We Adult When Our Kid Is a Permanent Resident of Autism” club.

    screen time for autistic children
    It was a sad day but necessary!

    The Solution: Saying Goodbye to iGadgets 🚫📱

     

    The solution was as simple as a triumphant exit for the iPhone and iPad – two devices that Jacob clung to with the ferocity of a squirrel protecting its nut stash. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, our beloved iGadgets couldn’t differentiate between age-appropriate entertainment and YouTube’s greatest hits of “Movie Voiceover Catastrophes.”

     

    Snippets of perfectly decent films transformed into bizarre voiceovers that would leave even Darth Vader scratching his helmeted head being consumed by our son on the autism spectrum. After years of tireless monitoring, debates, and the occasional eye roll from our tech-savvy son, we decided to go medieval on those devices.

     

    Screen Time as a Welcomed Guest 🎮📺

    Now, before you peg me as a screen time Scrooge, let me clarify – we’re all about balance, folks. Jacob loves the predictability of his games and movies, but like a squirrel fixated on that nut stash, he can get a tad obsessed.

     

    So, we embark on a quest for equilibrium, where balancing screen time for autistic children becomes a welcomed guest in Jacob’s daily schedule, not the puppeteer pulling all the strings.

     

    Let’s dive right into the chaotic realm of screen time, where YouTube voiceovers reign supreme, sarcasm flows like a never-ending river, and emotions take center stage. Picture this: Jacob would merrily parrot inappropriate voiceovers from movie clips he’d stumble upon in the depths of YouTube.

     

    You know, the clips that sneakily infiltrate even the most kid-friendly content. To make matters even more interesting, he’d not only repeat the lines but also wear the emotions like a hat.

     

    Now, this might sound like an amusing party trick for your average teenager, but for Jacob, who grapples with emotion regulation difficulties courtesy of his learning disabilities, it was like a comedy show gone awry.

     

    Sarcasm and emotional mimicry? Well, they don’t quite fit the bill for a kid navigating the complexities of his own emotions. So, we had to bid farewell to YouTube and its unexpected voiceover adventures.

    Screen Time and Removing iPhone and iPad

    Next up on our journey: Jacob’s affinity for the iPhone. He would rise at the crack of dawn and make a beeline for his cherished device. At first, it was innocent enough – just a little music to set the morning mood. Christian tunes from the Newsboys, classics from the Eagles, and the uplifting melodies of MercyMe filled our home.

     

    But here’s the catch: YouTube was always just a click away, and on his device, we couldn’t effectively filter the content.

     

    In an ideal world, he’d have a dose of music during the day, tackle his schoolwork and chores, and enjoy the iPad, TV, or games during his well-deserved downtime in the evening. However, what ensued was a full-blown obsession with the phone and iPad, and it wasn’t all smooth sailing.

     

    The lack of parental controls, combined with a sudden onset of attitude issues and an unsettling penchant for repeating the aforementioned sarcastic voiceovers, led us to a decision – those devices had to go.

    Finding Alternative Devices

    With a heavy heart, we waved goodbye to the iPhone and iPad, and in their place, we introduced the Kindle tablet.

    Jacob wasn’t exactly thrilled with the switch, but necessity often breeds adaptation. The Kindle offered us better controls and access to Amazon Prime movies and Kindle books – a trade-off that Jacob eventually came to appreciate.

     

    You see, movies and games were more than just entertainment for Jacob. They were a vital part of his life, a means of communication, and a source of shared laughter within our family. We wanted to nurture these positives and, in turn, steer clear of the negatives.

     

    With the Kindle, we even had the power to program specific times for movies, ensuring a balanced approach to screen time. How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.

    Strategies for Achieving Balance

     

    Now, let’s get to the crux of the matter – how do we strike that elusive balance between screen time and the real world?

     

    Monitoring: Jacob might be older, but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down. His emotional regulation quirks are still very much a part of his daily life. If he immerses himself in a movie or show, he becomes it, quirks and all.

     

    Limiting: By limiting his screen time and offering alternative activities, we’ve witnessed a remarkable transformation. He’s no longer a device-clinging zealot but a much happier individual with a broader spectrum of interests.

     

    Scheduling: Finally, we integrate screen time into Jacob’s daily schedule, just like any other activity.

     

    Jacob thrives on balance and predictability, and our schedules provide just that.

    A Balanced Approach to Screen Time 💖🕹️

     

    Monitoring, limiting, and scheduling screen time have all contributed to our collective success as a family. With vigilant monitoring, we were able to identify and address issues, leading us to bid adieu to the iPhone and iPad in favor of the Kindle tablet.

     

    Limiting screen time curbed obsessive tendencies, helping Jacob understand the importance of a diversified day.

     

    Finally, incorporating it all into a daily schedule bestowed upon him the predictability he so dearly craved, fostering independence and a sense of accomplishment. Want more download the ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg

     

    Read More