family life

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    5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    #SmallActsOfCalm #SpecialLove
    Sometimes just a hug and redirection will calm strong emotions.

    Regain Your Calm With Your Special Needs Child 

    Parenting can sometimes feel like a never-ending circus—juggling tasks, managing emotions, and keeping everything from crashing down. Throw in raising a special needs child, and it’s like adding a high-wire act to the mix. Trust me, I’ve been there. But instead of letting the chaos consume you, let’s talk about how you can regain your calm using tools from the CALM framework and some good old-fashioned humor.  https://wordtoyourmotherblog.com/autism-parenting-tips/

    This is where mindset and a solid toolkit come into play. These five strategies will help you pause, reset, and return to parenting with a clear head.

    #parentingtip
    Help them find their calm.

    Finding Calm in the Chaos: Using the CALM Framework

    At EducatingJacob, we focus on CALM strategies, where the “M” stands for Mindset. Maintaining the right mindset is critical for parenting success and emotional well-being. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and learning to shift from reactive chaos to responsive calm.

    These strategies are part of the broader framework that includes visual schedules, which reduce anxiety and create structure for your child—and you. Let’s explore five ways to get back on track when your nerves are frayed.

     

    Children with autism often march to their own drum.
    Children with autism often march to their own drum

    1. The Gratitude Journal Getaway ✍️

    When you feel your patience slipping, retreat to your room with a gratitude journal. Writing down even the smallest victories can refocus your mindset.

    • Why It Works: A gratitude journal helps you shift from frustration to appreciation, reminding you of how far you’ve come.
    • How to Start: Jot down three things you’re grateful for daily—no matter how small. For example, “Jacob followed his visual schedule today!”

    Gratitude is a powerful tool to regain calm and confidence, reinforcing your ability to handle the challenges of autism parenting. How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

     

    2. The Bath-Time Escape 🛁

    Sometimes, the best way to calm your mind is by soothing your body. A warm bath, a glass of wine, and relaxing candles can work wonders for your stress levels.

    • Why It Works: Relaxation lowers cortisol (your stress hormone) and gives you the mental reset needed to parent effectively.
    • Add a Twist: Listen to an audiobook, like a personal development book or a calming podcast, while you soak.

    A relaxed parent can approach challenges with more patience and creativity—key ingredients in implementing the CALM framework.

     

    3. Movie Magic with a Twist 🎥

    When Jacob’s movie-quote marathon tests my last nerve, I’ve found that turning to the magic of movies can be a great reset for both of us.

    • For You: Escape into a comedy or action-packed Marvel film to distract and recharge.
    • For Your Child: Use a favorite movie quote to redirect them during transitions or moments of frustration. This ties into their comfort zone and helps shift the mood.

    Visual schedules can even incorporate favorite movie times, creating a calming anchor in your child’s day.

     

    4. The Reading Retreat 📚

    Books are more than just an escape—they’re a way to recharge your mindset. Whether it’s a suspenseful novel or uplifting scriptures like Psalms and Proverbs, reading can ground you and help you refocus.

    • Why It Works: Reading helps you step outside your current challenges and gain perspective.
    • Bonus Tip: Keep a notebook handy to jot down quotes or ideas that inspire you.

    Incorporate reading time into your visual schedule to model calm, structured habits for your child.

     

    5. The Great Escape 🌳

    Sometimes, you just need to step away—literally. A quick trip to the grocery store, a cup of tea with a friend, or even a brisk walk can do wonders for your mental health.

    • Why It Works: Changing your environment can reset your perspective and give you the emotional reserves to reengage with your child.
    • For Your Child: Plan an outing that fits their sensory needs, like a quiet park or a familiar store, and include it in their visual schedule to reduce surprises.

    The goal is to return to parenting refreshed and ready to support your child’s needs without feeling overwhelmed. 

     

    Mindset + Tools = Calm Confidence

    Remember, the CALM framework is your ally:

    • C: Consistent Action Forward – Small, steady steps make all the difference.
    • A: Always Celebrate Wins – Recognize and reward progress, no matter how small.
    • L: Learning to Create Schedules – Use visual schedules to create predictability and ease transitions.
    • M: Mindset is Key – A positive mindset allows you to show up as the confident, calm parent your child needs. How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

     

    Take Care of Yourself, So You Can Care for Them

    Parenting a child with autism is challenging, but you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. These five strategies are simple ways to regain your calm, shift your mindset, and return to parenting with renewed confidence.

    You’ve got this. And when it feels like too much, just remember: a calm, collected parent can change the whole energy of the home—and that starts with you.

    What are your go-to strategies for regaining calm during tough moments? I’d love to hear about them! 🌟

    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟
    📅 Schedule a discovery call
    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #askmelissa

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  • Blog, Uncategorized

    Games, TV and Cell Phones. 3 ways we use to strike a balance for our autistic son.

     

    screen time for autistic children
    Watching movies, games and his phone had Jacob stuck in a loop.

    Screen Time for Autistic Children 📺📱🕹️

     

    Screen time for autistic children in today’s digital age.  A waltz of wires, pixels, and the occasional meltdown thrown in for good measure. As parents, we’re all familiar with the perplexing puzzle of balancing our children’s love for games, TV, and cell phones, especially when they come with a side order of learning disabilities. Balancing screen time for autistic children can be a unique challenge, but it’s a necessary one. Here’s an article warning of screen hazards: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10442849/

    Screen time, autism, and childhood development!

    Now, I know what you’re thinking – “Screen time is the nemesis of childhood development!” Trust me; I’ve read the articles, heard the warnings, and contemplated creating a bonfire with every device in the house just to free our kids from their pixelated prisons.

     

    But here’s the twist in our tale: I’ve also stumbled upon studies suggesting that video games can miraculously morph into concentration enhancers for our ADHD champs. Oh, and let’s not forget the cautionary tales of phones, iPads, and games birthing OCD tendencies.

     

    Enter Jacob, my youngest progeny, who is legally an adult but will stick around with family until heaven is our permanent address. My husband and I, well, let’s just say we’re charter members of the “How Do We Adult When Our Kid Is a Permanent Resident of Autism” club.

    screen time for autistic children
    It was a sad day but necessary!

    The Solution: Saying Goodbye to iGadgets 🚫📱

     

    The solution was as simple as a triumphant exit for the iPhone and iPad – two devices that Jacob clung to with the ferocity of a squirrel protecting its nut stash. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, our beloved iGadgets couldn’t differentiate between age-appropriate entertainment and YouTube’s greatest hits of “Movie Voiceover Catastrophes.”

     

    Snippets of perfectly decent films transformed into bizarre voiceovers that would leave even Darth Vader scratching his helmeted head being consumed by our son on the autism spectrum. After years of tireless monitoring, debates, and the occasional eye roll from our tech-savvy son, we decided to go medieval on those devices.

     

    Screen Time as a Welcomed Guest 🎮📺

    Now, before you peg me as a screen time Scrooge, let me clarify – we’re all about balance, folks. Jacob loves the predictability of his games and movies, but like a squirrel fixated on that nut stash, he can get a tad obsessed.

     

    So, we embark on a quest for equilibrium, where balancing screen time for autistic children becomes a welcomed guest in Jacob’s daily schedule, not the puppeteer pulling all the strings.

     

    Let’s dive right into the chaotic realm of screen time, where YouTube voiceovers reign supreme, sarcasm flows like a never-ending river, and emotions take center stage. Picture this: Jacob would merrily parrot inappropriate voiceovers from movie clips he’d stumble upon in the depths of YouTube.

     

    You know, the clips that sneakily infiltrate even the most kid-friendly content. To make matters even more interesting, he’d not only repeat the lines but also wear the emotions like a hat.

     

    Now, this might sound like an amusing party trick for your average teenager, but for Jacob, who grapples with emotion regulation difficulties courtesy of his learning disabilities, it was like a comedy show gone awry.

     

    Sarcasm and emotional mimicry? Well, they don’t quite fit the bill for a kid navigating the complexities of his own emotions. So, we had to bid farewell to YouTube and its unexpected voiceover adventures.

    Screen Time and Removing iPhone and iPad

    Next up on our journey: Jacob’s affinity for the iPhone. He would rise at the crack of dawn and make a beeline for his cherished device. At first, it was innocent enough – just a little music to set the morning mood. Christian tunes from the Newsboys, classics from the Eagles, and the uplifting melodies of MercyMe filled our home.

     

    But here’s the catch: YouTube was always just a click away, and on his device, we couldn’t effectively filter the content.

     

    In an ideal world, he’d have a dose of music during the day, tackle his schoolwork and chores, and enjoy the iPad, TV, or games during his well-deserved downtime in the evening. However, what ensued was a full-blown obsession with the phone and iPad, and it wasn’t all smooth sailing.

     

    The lack of parental controls, combined with a sudden onset of attitude issues and an unsettling penchant for repeating the aforementioned sarcastic voiceovers, led us to a decision – those devices had to go.

    Finding Alternative Devices

    With a heavy heart, we waved goodbye to the iPhone and iPad, and in their place, we introduced the Kindle tablet.

    Jacob wasn’t exactly thrilled with the switch, but necessity often breeds adaptation. The Kindle offered us better controls and access to Amazon Prime movies and Kindle books – a trade-off that Jacob eventually came to appreciate.

     

    You see, movies and games were more than just entertainment for Jacob. They were a vital part of his life, a means of communication, and a source of shared laughter within our family. We wanted to nurture these positives and, in turn, steer clear of the negatives.

     

    With the Kindle, we even had the power to program specific times for movies, ensuring a balanced approach to screen time. How my husband changes Jacob’s bad mood with music! #musicandautism.

    Strategies for Achieving Balance

     

    Now, let’s get to the crux of the matter – how do we strike that elusive balance between screen time and the real world?

     

    Monitoring: Jacob might be older, but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down. His emotional regulation quirks are still very much a part of his daily life. If he immerses himself in a movie or show, he becomes it, quirks and all.

     

    Limiting: By limiting his screen time and offering alternative activities, we’ve witnessed a remarkable transformation. He’s no longer a device-clinging zealot but a much happier individual with a broader spectrum of interests.

     

    Scheduling: Finally, we integrate screen time into Jacob’s daily schedule, just like any other activity.

     

    Jacob thrives on balance and predictability, and our schedules provide just that.

    A Balanced Approach to Screen Time 💖🕹️

     

    Monitoring, limiting, and scheduling screen time have all contributed to our collective success as a family. With vigilant monitoring, we were able to identify and address issues, leading us to bid adieu to the iPhone and iPad in favor of the Kindle tablet.

     

    Limiting screen time curbed obsessive tendencies, helping Jacob understand the importance of a diversified day.

     

    Finally, incorporating it all into a daily schedule bestowed upon him the predictability he so dearly craved, fostering independence and a sense of accomplishment. Want more download the ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg

     

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