parenting

  • Teaching my son with autism to read was a huge accomplishment!

    Jacob completing a writing assignment on his chalkboard wall in his room.
    Jacob doing a writing assignment!

    A Surprising Start to Our Autism Journey

    When autism hit our family, it hit like a ton of bewildering bricks. Teaching my son to read, speak or just about anything was a challenge. We were as clueless as clueless could be, armed with nothing more than our viewing of “Rain Man” as our crash course in autism. No mentors, no guidebooks, just us, trying to make sense of it all. Our teaching that worked with our first son did not work. Teaching Nicholas to do almost anything including reading was a breeze! https://www.beginlearning.com/parent-resources/how-to-teach-a-child-to-read/

    Teaching My Son to Read

    But, hey, we did have a friend who homeschooled her own kids. And that, my friends, was our ticket to the wild world of homeschooling. Jacob had done a stint in public school for preschool and kindergarten. As those crucial early years came to a close, we decided to take the plunge and bring him home for homeschooling. I researched and bought materials for schooling my children and got started.

    Diving into the Deep End of Homeschooling

    So, there I was, diving headfirst into this ocean of uncertainty. I read books, surfed websites, and clung to my homeschooling guru friend like a lifebuoy. I ordered curriculum for two kids because my older son, Nicholas, wanted in on the action. He became the extracurricular activities and book picker, and off we went, wading into uncharted waters.

    Officially Homeschooling

    We registered ourselves with the state as a homeschool, gave ourselves a name (because why not?), and I became the official administrator. Nicholas was a breeze to teach, but Jacob, oh Jacob, with his autism quirks and speech challenges, was a different story.

    Creative Homeschooling Tactics

    Jacobs-activities-lined-the-couch-with-an-all-done-bin-on-the-floor
    Jacob’s activities lined the couch with an all done bin on the floor, very easy for him to understand!

    Our homeschooling sessions involved singing the ABCs during bath time (foam letters included!), bouncing on a rebounder while tackling flashcards, and counting and word games on the outdoor swing. Movement was Jacob’s magic ingredient for speech, so we embraced it wholeheartedly. It also made learning a lot more fun. This link shows how comprehension is challenging for our children with autism.  https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/autism-spectrum-disorder/articles/reading-comprehension-and-autism-primary-general-education

    The Calm in the Storm

    Nicholas, bless his heart, was the calm amidst our storm. Some days, Jacob and I would wrap up our lessons in tears. It usually ended with Jacob going to his room, me heading to mine, and Nicholas taking charge of soothing his brother. He’d build intricate train tracks and cue up a Thomas the Tank Engine movie. And then, he’d come to me with an offer of popcorn and Dr. Pepper because he knew they were my favorites. Smart kid!

    Not a Teacher Yet

    I wasn’t a teacher when we started this adventure; I decided to become a Special Education teacher later, thinking I needed the qualification to help my son. In reality, I didn’t. Jacob and I tackled the hard part before I ever got that degree. We taught each other.

    The Proud Moment

    I was just a mom, desperate and determined not to give up. I knew Jacob better than anyone, and I used that knowledge to our advantage. We turned every opportunity into a learning moment and incorporated everything he loved.

    Jacob reading, also part of his daily schedule.
    Jacob couldn’t read yet, but it was still part of his daily schedule!

    Teaching Triumph

    Teaching Jacob to read is a greater source of pride for me than my Master’s degree in Special Education. I taught him to read and write before I even had that degree. The Jacob School of Life taught me more than any classroom could.

    Challenges and Rewards

    Teaching any child to read is no walk in the park, and when you add disabilities to the mix, it’s a real uphill climb. You’ve got to connect with your student on a profound level, using every trick in the book to make it easier for them. Find ways to incorporate what they already love into the learning process.

    Celebrating Small Wins

    Jacob loved movies, trains, and video games (like father, like son). He adored movement and water, so we used all these things every single day until that light bulb moment finally happened. We celebrated every tiny milestone like it was the Super Bowl, and let me tell you, the victory dances were legendary.

    Don’t Give Up

    On the tough days, the ones that ended with me retreating to my room, tears streaming, feeling utterly unworthy, I didn’t give up. I’m here to tell you, you’re worthy, and your child needs you. Don’t throw in the towel; don’t give in. Celebrate every single accomplishment, no matter how minuscule. Because when you look back, you’ll see just how far you’ve come, and it’ll be a sight to behold.

    Tired and frustrated shows up for all moms
    Tired and frustrated? Try something new, create a schedule“How to create a personalized schedule for children with autism”!

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  • 3 Ways to Help Your Child with Autism Enjoy Christmas Without Meltdowns and Anxiety!

    Holiday tips for a child with autism
    #parentingautism #childwithautism

    Ho, Ho, Hold on to Your Sanity: Autism-Proofing Your Christmas

    Picture this: twinkling lights, jingling bells, and the joyful sound of kids playing… until a meltdown strikes. Yep, the holidays can be an emotional rollercoaster for both parents when you have a child with autism. But fear not, we’ve got three sleigh-loads of tips to help your child with autism enjoy Christmas without the meltdowns and anxiety!

    Merry Christmas, a child with autism
    Enjoy Christmas and all holidays by planning ahead!

    Have a Schedule: Santa’s Secret to Smooth Sailing

    You know how adults suffer from decision fatigue? Well, imagine that, but for kids with autism. Their processing delays, combined with other learning disabilities, make transitions and language complex terrain. So, let’s simplify the journey.

    Jacob’s schedule and calendar are his North Star, guiding him through the holiday hustle and bustle. Just like we rely on our phones and apps to navigate life, he uses his schedule to keep the chaos at bay.

    When he knows what’s on the agenda, it’s like a backstage pass to his day. No need for lengthy explanations or negotiations; it’s all right there, mapped out. So, when you ask him to do something, he’s ready to roll because he’s got the schedule to back him up.

    Remember, the schedule doesn’t have to be rocket science. Keep it straightforward, make changes as needed, and as long as he can see it, he’ll have less anxiety about the ever-changing holiday plans. It’s a win-win for everyone in the family!

    Christmas photo showing Jacob with headphones on in restaurant to ease noise.
    The headphones helped Jacob in a noisy restaurant.

    Adjust Your Expectations and Their Environment: ‘Tis the Season for Sensory-Friendly Fun”

    Flashback to when our firstborn, Nicholas, was little. We could conquer family gatherings, holiday shows, and shopping marathons with ease. Then, Jacob entered the scene, and suddenly, our holiday game plan needed some serious adjustments.

    Big family events, loud shows, and crowded malls? Not exactly Jacob’s cup of cocoa. Sensory overload and anxiety were always lurking. So, we adapted our environment to fit his needs and ease his holiday stress.

    Seek out sensory-friendly movie screenings and showtimes; they’re a game-changer for families like ours. Prepping ahead of time by watching videos or tutorials related to upcoming activities helps a child with autism feel more at ease. Check out our blog post on [preparing for doctor visits]https://educatingjacob.com/child-on-the-autism-spectrum-navigate-doctor-visits/ for a crash course in anticipatory planning.

    Make short videos or show clips of what to expect. And remember to bring the holiday cheer in your bag of tricks: headphones, earplugs, snacks, and sensory fidgets can be a sanity-saver. We always pack a travel kit with books, a tablet, snacks, and whatever else brings comfort.

    In a nutshell, be prepared for anything. And that means anything!

    We wish you a Merry Christmas
    #ChristmasWithAutism #childwithautism

    Have Fun and Keep It Simple: Savoring the Season

    Guess what? You can still have a holly, jolly Christmas even if you have a  child with autism. You just need to tweak the festivities to suit their comfort zone.

    Go see those dazzling Christmas lights, but be armed with a travel bag of sensory items, snacks, tablets, and headphones. This way, you’re ready for whatever Santa throws your way.

    It’s okay to leave your child out of some holiday activities if it’s not their cup of eggnog. Let them enjoy their comfy environment with their favorite things while you dash through the snow of holiday fun.

    Remember, the most important thing is to savor the season, make memories, and cherish the moments, even if they come with a sprinkle of chaos. Because in the end, it’s all part of your unique, heartwarming, and occasionally hilarious Christmas story. 🎄❄️🌟

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  • How I added games to my son Jacob’s schedule to promote socialization.

    Embrace differences
    Be kind, reach out and embrace differences!

    How I Turned My Son Jacob into a Social Butterfly (Well, Sort of)

    Hey there, fellow schedule enthusiasts! You know, parents and teachers who use schedules are basically the superheroes of time management. 🦸‍♂️ They keep everyone on the same page, and for folks like me, they help avoid meltdowns that could rival a volcano eruption. More info: https://educatingjacob.com/beyond-the-chaos-scheduling-101-class-for-special-needs-children/

    You see, I use schedules because of my son Jacob’s autism. His daily routines and his ability to follow a schedule give him a sense of security, confidence, and a lot less anxiety about the rollercoaster of life. But recently, I decided it was time to add a little sprinkle of socialization to Jacob’s schedule.

    Now, let me give you the inside scoop on my secret weapon: games. Yes, games, folks! I decided to sneak some fun into his routine, and let me tell you, it’s been an adventure.

    Game Time, Jacob Style

    Games for socialization!
    Games for socialization!

    So, here’s the deal. Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, tends to be a lone wolf when it comes to socializing. He wants us around, but he’s not exactly hosting tea parties or neighborhood BBQs.

    Occasionally, I decided to spice things up by putting a game, like Word Search, on his schedule. Now, let me be clear, he LOVES word searches. Seriously, he’s like a word-hunting ninja. He even has them as part of his schoolwork and other worksheets.

    But, here’s the kicker – he always beats me. It’s like playing chess with a grandmaster. 😅 So, technically, it’s socialization, but it’s more like a friendly competition. He tolerates playing with me because it’s on his schedule, and he enjoys a good word hunt.

    Using his need for structure and routines, I can easily switch things up. If there’s a holiday on the horizon, we talk about it ahead of time. He can see it on the calendar and his schedule, and it helps him mentally prepare for the change.

    Countdowns and Excitement

    Now, one thing that gets Jacob excited is when he knows something different is happening. For instance, when his brother is coming into town, he’s over the moon. He counts down the days on his schedule, and trust me, it’s adorable.

    You see, schedules aren’t just about keeping order; they’re about building excitement and helping him accept changes in our family’s routine. It’s like his own personal calendar of awesome events.

    Games for Social Skills

    Games to increase socialization skills
    Increase socialization skills with games!

    Now, in school, teachers do something similar for the students. They dangle the game carrot at the end of a work stick, and it works like a charm. The kids know that if they complete their tasks, they get to dive into some game time.

    Jacob, like many kids on the spectrum, adores games. And while he might not win “Most Talkative” at school, he sure knows how to play a mean game of Connect Four. Here are some ideas for summer: https://educatingjacob.com/a-summer-schedule-for-my-child-who-has-autism/

    These games aren’t just fun; they’re stealthily teaching social skills. He might not always jump at the opportunity to socialize, but since it’s part of his schedule, he goes along with it. It’s a win-win, my friends.

    So, if you’re navigating the unpredictable waters of autism like me, consider adding some game time to your child’s schedule. You might not turn them into a social butterfly overnight, but you’ll definitely make socializing a part of their daily routine. And hey, who knows, maybe they’ll even let you win at Word Search. 🕵️‍♀️

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  • Beyond the Chaos: Scheduling 101 Class for Special Needs Children

    Jacob_reading_when_he_first_started_using_schedules
    This is Jacob reading a story book that was in his first_then work schedule!

    Beyond the chaos:

    Hold on Tight: The Rollercoaster Begins .  My son Jacob, bless his heart, decides it’s time for an emotional rollercoaster ride, and I’m just here, trying not to fall off the emotional rollercoaster myself. 🎢

    You see, our home, thanks to Jacob’s autism, resembles something like a tornado hit it regularly. Remember that joke about the first child being an angel, and then the second child coming along to prove that theory wrong? Well, autism walked into our lives and said, “Hold my juice box!” Chaos, storms, and frustration, anyone? 🌀 🤪

    Need help regaining your calm? Check out this previous blog post: https://educatingjacob.com/5-ways-to-regain-my-calm-when-my-special-needs-child-is-dancing-on-my-last-nerve/

    The Colossal Challenges

    These challenges are colossal, like trying to fit a giraffe into a Mini Cooper. 🦒 Feeling isolated, drowning in paperwork, and dealing with doctors and insurance companies become a daily sport.

    Whack-a-Mole: Battling Behaviors with Pool Noodles

    It’s like playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole, but the moles are challenging behaviors, and the mallet is a pool noodle. 🏊 Oh, and the ticket to the game is depression. Yeah, fun times.🔨

    Mastering the Schedule: Finding Clarity and Flexibility

    Thankfully, my superhero cape-wearing family and friends have kept me from succumbing to a life of perpetual pool noodle whacking. I still get frustrated and depressed sometimes, but now I have my trusty sidekick, “Jacob’s Daily Schedule,” by my side. 📅

    What I needed was the proper mindset, I needed to know why the schedule was important for Jacob and for our family. Then through trial and error I learned to create the perfect schedules for us. It’s always centered around Jacob and how to help him. This keeps our family moving forward.

    You have to get clear on your challenges and then use a simple schedule to start yourself off and build on that until you’ve mastered what is needed. Life is constantly changing and once you’ve learned how to create schedules it’s not hard to course correct and make small changes when needed!🔄🧠

     

    Roadmap for choices
    Use schedules with built in choice for connection and learning!                                                       

    The Power of Schedules:

    Roadmap to success! Use a schedule, be consistent, and celebrate all wins!

    I used to feel like I was blindfolded, trying to solve a puzzle with shape-shifting pieces. 🧩 Then, I discovered visual schedules, and it was like I found the cheat code to the game of parenting. Schedules are your roadmap!

    Picture this: Jacob and I are now on an epic quest.The sensory challenges are our dragons, and our visual schedules are our treasure maps. And let’s not forget the rewards – stickers, high-fives, maybe even some chocolate. 🍫🛡️ 🗺️

    We’ve turned chores into quests. Jacob, now known as the “Kitchen Crusader,” conquers not just chores, but life itself. As parents, we’re the wizards, guiding our children through the magical world of responsibilities. Let the chore-adventures begin! 🎉✨

    Creating Effective Schedules:

    The zippered bags contain school work and a short book to read.
    Jacob’s daily school bags for the week!

    Visual schedules are like vibrant canvases that promise adventure. It’s like our daily to-do list became a treasure map. For Jacob, chores turned into thrilling quests, and sensory sensitivities were banished like villains from a fairy tale.

    Unlocking the Mysteries of Zippered Bags

    Those zippered bags you see? They’re not just bags; they’re portals to another dimension. One contains school work – the realm of knowledge. Another holds chapter books – the doorway to countless adventures. And the larger garment bags? Well, they’re Jacob’s wardrobe for the week, neatly hung up like a knight’s armor, ready for duty. 🎒 🛡️

    A Week in Advance: Why the Plan Matters

    Everything is planned out a week in advance, and why is that important? Because if Jacob doesn’t have a plan for his day, he will experience anxiety when there are unexpected transitions. Imagine interrupting a grand quest to slay dragons – not a good idea! Plus, with processing language delays, it’s like trying to decipher ancient runes on the fly. 📅 🐉

    Fashion Forward with Clothes Schedules

    The clothes schedule gives him sensory-friendly but decent clothes for the community already picked out. It’s like having a superhero costume ready for action – no fuss, no muss, just heroic flair! 👔 🦸‍♂️

    Ready for Life’s Twists and Turns

    Life gives the unexpected, and our children need to be ready and able to handle the changes. But fear not! With the structure of a schedule, they’re like seasoned adventurers equipped with a map and compass. They can navigate the twists and turns with confidence, knowing that they have a plan in place. 🛤️ 🗺️

    Course Correcting with Ease

    So, when we need to course correct for unexpected transitions, it’s like adjusting the sails on a ship. With the routine of a schedule already in place, it’s not a daunting task; it’s just a gentle nudge in the right direction. Smooth sailing ahead! 🔄 ⛵

    Embracing the Future

    Now, all we need to do is adjust the schedule and let them see what’s coming. It’s a new transition, but easier because it’s within the confines of a routine they’re comfortable with already. With schedules as our trusty guides, the future looks bright, and the adventures ahead are limitless! 🔮 🌟

    If you want to look into some community events that are designed with your children in mind and already set up for success, see if you have an Autism Society locally, If you live in NC, check this out: https://www.eventbrite.com/o/autism-society-of-north-carolina-6867453005

    Remember, in this adventure called life, we’re here to help and support each other. Together, we’re stronger. I’m praying for you, my friends! 🌟 #AutismAwareness

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