Self-Care

  • Blog, Uncategorized

    Ways to have peace? Creating time for yourself, not just your child with autism.

    Welcome to the chaotic yet rewarding journey of parenting a child with autism while creating time for yourself! 🌟 As parents, we often find ourselves tirelessly dedicated to meeting our children’s needs, especially when they require extra support and attention. But amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to forget one essential component: ourselves.

    Trying to find an Honest Man in Congress

    I’ll be the first to admit, finding time for self-care as a parent of a child with autism can feel like trying to find an honest man in congress. 🧵 But after years of juggling appointments, therapies, and meltdowns, I’ve come to realize that carving out moments of peace for myself is not only beneficial—it’s downright essential.

    Creating Time for Yourself

    In this blog post, I’m excited to share my journey of discovering the importance of self-care and finding peace amidst the chaos of raising a child with autism. So let’s find the humor and practical tips, let’s embark on this adventure together and uncover the joys of creating time for ourselves, not just our children. 💆‍♀️

    Grab Your Favorite Mug

    #coffeeandabook, to relax and unwind I love coffee and a book!
    #coffeeandabook

    So grab your favorite mug of coffee (or tea, I won’t judge!), find a cozy spot to sit back, and let’s dive into the wonderful world of self-care for autism parents. Because trust me, you deserve it! I’m trying not to look at the calories in this Starbucks cup. 🍵✨

    The Wonderful World of Parent Swaps
    Pictures of mom and the boys!
    Mom and I always babysat for each other!

    Ah, the wonderful world of parent swaps—where exhaustion meets camaraderie, and sanity is traded like currency. 😅 Back when my mom was still alive, and I was knee-deep in the trenches of parenting with two small kids, one of whom had autism, we had a beautiful arrangement…

    I would help with my dad, he had COPD and needed assistance in the end years. I also, needed moments of running errands without two small children all over me! It was a great time, I loved spending time with my dad and my mom and dad loved spending time with their grandchildren. Win-Win!

    Discovering Peace Amidst the Chaos

    Yet, amidst the chaos and unexpected turns of life, I’ve found peace. 🕊️ I’ve come to accept our journey for what it is and embrace the support system that surrounds us. But perhaps the most significant lesson I’ve learned is this: I need more than just making my son’s life better…

    Prioritizing Spiritual Nourishment
    #blessed
    Trying to keep God first, not just when things go wrong.

    Without dedicating time to nurture my spiritual life, I find myself swimming in a sea of stress and discontent. 🌊 It’s like trying to navigate without a compass—I lose my sense of direction and purpose. So, I make it a priority to carve out moments for prayer, meditation, and reflection…

    Balancing Exercise and Indulgence

    As for exercise, well, let’s just say menopause has hit me like a ton of bricks. 💪 I’m still working on finding the perfect balance between staying active and indulging in a few too many comfort foods. But I’ve come to realize that moving my body and fueling it with nourishing foods are essential…

    Sprinkles on Life’s Sundae

    And let’s not forget about fun and creative activities—they’re like the sprinkles on top of life’s sundae. 🍦 Whether it’s painting, gardening, or belting out karaoke tunes in the living room, these moments of joy keep me feeling young at heart and connected to my inner child… Jacob and David are the DJ’s in the music department. Look at last weeks post on adding a little fun to a gloomy day!

    The Recipe for a Fulfilling Life

    But here’s the thing: it’s not just about me. It’s about ensuring that my entire family—Jacob included—has access to these essential ingredients for a fulfilling life. As the mom, I often find myself playing the role of chief nurturer, ensuring everyone’s needs are met…

    My husband David is great and does his part for the family and supports me too, but I will get lost in the details and plan without time for myself.

    Join the Journey

    So, here’s the game plan: we all need spiritual nourishment, regular exercise, and plenty of fun and creative outlets. It’s the recipe for a life well-lived, ensuring that each member of the family has the tools they need to thrive. 🌟

    We are all trying to include all of these areas into our schedules so that we are all working and fulfilled. 

    Let’s Laugh, Learn, and Dance

    Join me on this journey of creating time for yourself and self-care, where we’ll laugh, learn, and maybe even bust a few dance moves along the way. After all, life’s too short to forget about the most important things that make life worthwhile. 💃✨

    #autismchallenges🧩

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  • Blog, schedules

    3 New Year’s resolutions for the family? Lol, they have to do with autism and schedules!

    2024 Happy New Year!
    2024 Changes!

    Let’s update those schedules:

    You know it’s time to update those schedules when your calendar looks like a map of a complex labyrinth with more twists and turns than an episode of your favorite mystery series. Trouble changing the schedules? https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/changing-routines-asd Reflecting on the past year, let’s take a moment to acknowledge what worked well and what didn’t in the realm of autism and schedules. As I listen to all the podcasts helping me improve myself, I’ve realized it’s high time we do more of what works and ditch what doesn’t.

    “Hey, kiddo, remember that time we tried to fit in four different therapies, two playdates, and a partridge in a pear tree all in one day? Yeah, let’s not do that again.” So, this year, let’s resolve to establish and maintain a consistent daily routine. This can work wonders for reducing anxiety in children with autism and schedules. We’ll make a visual schedule or use a calendar to outline the day’s activities. Therapy sessions, schoolwork, playtime, and meals all get a slot. How Simple Planning Ahead Can Save the Day When Working with Someone Who Has Autism! These are areas that need attention when dealing with autism and schedules, and they’re like a puzzle – easy to make small daily changes to improve. We’ll stick to this routine as closely as possible but allow for some flexibility when necessary because, let’s face it, life can be as unpredictable as the weather.

    Streamline the budget:

    Let's update those schedules!
    Do more of what’s working and cut what’s not working.

    Now, let’s talk finances. If your wallet has a perpetual echo because it’s always empty, well, you’re not alone. Jake’s idea of budgeting is handing over his wallet with a look that says, “Refill, please!” If only money could be as easily replenished as a snack jar.

    But seriously, it’s time to streamline the budget. We’re trying to teach Jacob the fine art of money management. As for us adults, we’re taking a closer look at our financial habits. It’s like a yearly clean-up for your bank account, an essential aspect of managing autism and schedules. And believe me, it’s a lot less messy than cleaning out the garage.

    Self-Care, Better Diet, and Exercise:

    Ah, self-care. That elusive concept that often feels like a mythical creature when you’re juggling the responsibilities of parenting a child with autism and schedules. But hey, we’re resolving to make it happen this year. We’ll prioritize self-care as a family resolution, especially within the context of autism and schedules. We’ll ensure that both parents get opportunities to recharge. Whether it’s through regular breaks, date nights, or pursuing hobbies and interests. Because a well-rested and emotionally supported family is like the Avengers of autism parenting – we’ve got superpowers!

    Now, let’s talk about the diet. We’ve realized that a diet consisting solely of chicken nuggets and Dr. Pepper probably won’t lead to Jacob becoming the healthiest adult on the planet. So, we’re all in for incorporating better eating habits into our lives alongside autism and schedules.

    And exercise? Well, that’s going to be a family affair. David’s got this habit down, but Jacob and I might need some extra motivation. Even Jake’s older brother, Nicholas, is racking up steps on his college campus, making us all look bad. Jacob does have a thing for spinach, broccoli, and carrots. So, we’ll be working those into the schedule more often to help improve his diet, all part of managing autism and schedules. As for me, well, I’m thinking of trying out the Mediterranean diet – anything that doesn’t involve counting how many chicken nuggets I’ve consumed.

    These resolutions are like puzzle pieces themselves, creating a supportive and structured environment for the whole family, all while considering the specific needs of a child with autism and schedules. We’ll use the desire for a schedule to throw in some good small habits that will add up over time. Who knows, maybe we’ll even find a way to schedule in some spontaneous fun along the way.

    Need help with schedules? Check out my previous blog post: “How to create a personalized schedule for children with autism”

    Have a blessed and Happy New Year!

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  • Uncategorized

    5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    Parenting often feels like a circus act, a precarious balancing act while juggling flaming torches. This act becomes even more challenging when you’re raising a special needs child who has an uncanny talent for tap-dancing on your last nerve. But fear not, you’re not alone under the big top of parenthood.

    Finding Humor in the Chaos

    Imagine this: Jacob, my son, is in the throes of an emotional meltdown, and I’m teetering on the brink of my own emotional precipice. His emotions are performing gymnastic feats while I struggle not to stumble over my own emotional shoelaces.

    #parentingtip
    Help them find their calm.

    Time-Out for Both

    While you might want to resort to shouting, I’ve stumbled upon a magical secret. Instead of adding my own vocal fireworks to the spectacle, I calmly send him to his room. And guess where I head? You guessed it—my own. It becomes my sanctuary, a place to contemplate the mysteries of life, such as the curious case of vanishing socks.

    A Magical Secret

    But here’s the remarkable part, folks: once I’ve rediscovered my own sense of calm, I return as the superhero of redirection. Armed with his trusty schedule, I make adjustments like a maestro conducting a symphony of serenity.

    When I return home after being out on errands or work, it’s a transition.

    When I return home from the day’s adventures, Jacob’s radar is on high alert. He emerges from his room, Kindle in hand, armed with a repertoire of movie quotes that could rival Shakespeare. My husband and co-pilot on this rollercoaster ride, informs me that Jacob has been content and industrious in my absence. Yet, of course, he eagerly awaits my attention.

    Instead of plunging into a sea of chores, I dedicate precious moments to indulging Jacob’s cinematic enthusiasm. We trade lines and anecdotes as if we’re strolling down a Hollywood red carpet, not the doorway of our modest abode.

    Children with autism often march to their own drum.
    Children with autism often march to their own drum

    Children with autism often march to their own drum, which can resemble a rock concert when emotions take center stage. This is where a well-structured plan for the day, akin to a symphony score, comes into play. Without it, navigating transitions becomes as challenging as corralling a group of hyperactive squirrels. Need help with schedules see this post: https://educatingjacob.com/how-using-schedules-can-change-your-childs-life/

    Set up for Success

    We need our own toolkits of tranquility. Buckle up as we embark on a journey to discover five ways to regain parental calm amidst the whirlwind of special needs parenting. Trust me; we’ve got this!

    So when your child is dancing on that last nerve, try the following:

    1. The Gratitude Journal Getaway

    Seek solace in your room and wield the written word to restore your peace. Grab your gratitude journal, not just a book, but a portal to a tranquil realm.

    With each pen stroke, you immortalize moments, victories, and triumphs. Chronicle battles conquered, heartaches soothed, and small wins that might vanish amidst the daily chaos.

    These gratitude strokes are your lifeline, offering respite. They’re tangible proof of your resilience, a map guiding you back to your journey’s heart. Amidst the whirlwind, you’ll find you’ve traveled far.

    Take a break
    #takeabreak
    1. The Bath-time Escape

    When the pressure mounts, take refuge in your fortress of relaxation: the bathtub. Sometimes, nothing beats a warm bath, accompanied by red wine and soothing candles. Add a bath bomb, some softly flickering candles, and an audiobook to soak away the stress.

    1. Movie Magic

    Escape into the world of comedy or action. Whether it’s classic romantic comedies like “While You Were Sleeping” or thrilling action-packed Marvel movies, losing yourself in a film can be the perfect distraction. It’s a chance to unwind and recharge.

    #SmallActsOfCalm #SpecialLove
    Sometimes just a hug and redirection will calm strong emotions.
    1. Reading Retreat

    Delve into the world of books. Whether you’re into the page-turning suspense of James Patterson or the humor of Janet Evanovich, a good book can transport you to another realm. For those seeking solace in faith, find strength and comfort in the Psalms and Proverbs.

    make exercise more fun!
    Use exercise to reset and calm. Don’t forget to make it fun!
    1. The Great Escape

    Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. My husband opts for exercise, while I find solace in a trip to the grocery store or sharing tea with my best friend. A brief outing can work wonders, allowing you to return to your child with renewed patience and perspective.

    You can’t take care of others without first taking care of yourself.

    Remember, in the chaos of parenting a special needs child, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. These five escapes can help you regain your calm, ensuring you have the emotional reserves to support your child effectively.

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