Self-Care

  • Uncategorized

    5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    #SmallActsOfCalm #SpecialLove
    Sometimes just a hug and redirection will calm strong emotions.

    Regain Your Calm With Your Special Needs Child 

    Parenting can sometimes feel like a never-ending circus—juggling tasks, managing emotions, and keeping everything from crashing down. Throw in raising a special needs child, and it’s like adding a high-wire act to the mix. Trust me, I’ve been there. But instead of letting the chaos consume you, let’s talk about how you can regain your calm using tools from the CALM framework and some good old-fashioned humor.  https://wordtoyourmotherblog.com/autism-parenting-tips/

    This is where mindset and a solid toolkit come into play. These five strategies will help you pause, reset, and return to parenting with a clear head.

    #parentingtip
    Help them find their calm.

    Finding Calm in the Chaos: Using the CALM Framework

    At EducatingJacob, we focus on CALM strategies, where the “M” stands for Mindset. Maintaining the right mindset is critical for parenting success and emotional well-being. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and learning to shift from reactive chaos to responsive calm.

    These strategies are part of the broader framework that includes visual schedules, which reduce anxiety and create structure for your child—and you. Let’s explore five ways to get back on track when your nerves are frayed.

     

    Children with autism often march to their own drum.
    Children with autism often march to their own drum

    1. The Gratitude Journal Getaway ✍️

    When you feel your patience slipping, retreat to your room with a gratitude journal. Writing down even the smallest victories can refocus your mindset.

    • Why It Works: A gratitude journal helps you shift from frustration to appreciation, reminding you of how far you’ve come.
    • How to Start: Jot down three things you’re grateful for daily—no matter how small. For example, “Jacob followed his visual schedule today!”

    Gratitude is a powerful tool to regain calm and confidence, reinforcing your ability to handle the challenges of autism parenting. How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

     

    2. The Bath-Time Escape 🛁

    Sometimes, the best way to calm your mind is by soothing your body. A warm bath, a glass of wine, and relaxing candles can work wonders for your stress levels.

    • Why It Works: Relaxation lowers cortisol (your stress hormone) and gives you the mental reset needed to parent effectively.
    • Add a Twist: Listen to an audiobook, like a personal development book or a calming podcast, while you soak.

    A relaxed parent can approach challenges with more patience and creativity—key ingredients in implementing the CALM framework.

     

    3. Movie Magic with a Twist 🎥

    When Jacob’s movie-quote marathon tests my last nerve, I’ve found that turning to the magic of movies can be a great reset for both of us.

    • For You: Escape into a comedy or action-packed Marvel film to distract and recharge.
    • For Your Child: Use a favorite movie quote to redirect them during transitions or moments of frustration. This ties into their comfort zone and helps shift the mood.

    Visual schedules can even incorporate favorite movie times, creating a calming anchor in your child’s day.

     

    4. The Reading Retreat 📚

    Books are more than just an escape—they’re a way to recharge your mindset. Whether it’s a suspenseful novel or uplifting scriptures like Psalms and Proverbs, reading can ground you and help you refocus.

    • Why It Works: Reading helps you step outside your current challenges and gain perspective.
    • Bonus Tip: Keep a notebook handy to jot down quotes or ideas that inspire you.

    Incorporate reading time into your visual schedule to model calm, structured habits for your child.

     

    5. The Great Escape 🌳

    Sometimes, you just need to step away—literally. A quick trip to the grocery store, a cup of tea with a friend, or even a brisk walk can do wonders for your mental health.

    • Why It Works: Changing your environment can reset your perspective and give you the emotional reserves to reengage with your child.
    • For Your Child: Plan an outing that fits their sensory needs, like a quiet park or a familiar store, and include it in their visual schedule to reduce surprises.

    The goal is to return to parenting refreshed and ready to support your child’s needs without feeling overwhelmed. 

     

    Mindset + Tools = Calm Confidence

    Remember, the CALM framework is your ally:

    • C: Consistent Action Forward – Small, steady steps make all the difference.
    • A: Always Celebrate Wins – Recognize and reward progress, no matter how small.
    • L: Learning to Create Schedules – Use visual schedules to create predictability and ease transitions.
    • M: Mindset is Key – A positive mindset allows you to show up as the confident, calm parent your child needs. How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

     

    Take Care of Yourself, So You Can Care for Them

    Parenting a child with autism is challenging, but you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. These five strategies are simple ways to regain your calm, shift your mindset, and return to parenting with renewed confidence.

    You’ve got this. And when it feels like too much, just remember: a calm, collected parent can change the whole energy of the home—and that starts with you.

    What are your go-to strategies for regaining calm during tough moments? I’d love to hear about them! 🌟

    🧐 Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    🌟 As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. 🌟
    📅 Schedule a discovery call
    👉🏼 Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamily💙#autismmom😎 #autismboymom😎 #autismchallenges🧩 #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #askmelissa

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  • Blog, Uncategorized

    Ways to have peace? Creating time for yourself, not just your child with autism.

    Welcome to the chaotic yet rewarding journey of parenting a child with autism while creating time for yourself! 🌟 As parents, we often find ourselves tirelessly dedicated to meeting our children’s needs, especially when they require extra support and attention. But amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to forget one essential component: ourselves.

    Trying to find an Honest Man in Congress

    I’ll be the first to admit, finding time for self-care as a parent of a child with autism can feel like trying to find an honest man in congress. 🧵 But after years of juggling appointments, therapies, and meltdowns, I’ve come to realize that carving out moments of peace for myself is not only beneficial—it’s downright essential.

    Creating Time for Yourself

    In this blog post, I’m excited to share my journey of discovering the importance of self-care and finding peace amidst the chaos of raising a child with autism. So let’s find the humor and practical tips, let’s embark on this adventure together and uncover the joys of creating time for ourselves, not just our children. 💆‍♀️

    Grab Your Favorite Mug

    #coffeeandabook, to relax and unwind I love coffee and a book!
    #coffeeandabook

    So grab your favorite mug of coffee (or tea, I won’t judge!), find a cozy spot to sit back, and let’s dive into the wonderful world of self-care for autism parents. Because trust me, you deserve it! I’m trying not to look at the calories in this Starbucks cup. 🍵✨

    The Wonderful World of Parent Swaps
    Pictures of mom and the boys!
    Mom and I always babysat for each other!

    Ah, the wonderful world of parent swaps—where exhaustion meets camaraderie, and sanity is traded like currency. 😅 Back when my mom was still alive, and I was knee-deep in the trenches of parenting with two small kids, one of whom had autism, we had a beautiful arrangement…

    I would help with my dad, he had COPD and needed assistance in the end years. I also, needed moments of running errands without two small children all over me! It was a great time, I loved spending time with my dad and my mom and dad loved spending time with their grandchildren. Win-Win!

    Discovering Peace Amidst the Chaos

    Yet, amidst the chaos and unexpected turns of life, I’ve found peace. 🕊️ I’ve come to accept our journey for what it is and embrace the support system that surrounds us. But perhaps the most significant lesson I’ve learned is this: I need more than just making my son’s life better…

    Prioritizing Spiritual Nourishment
    #blessed
    Trying to keep God first, not just when things go wrong.

    Without dedicating time to nurture my spiritual life, I find myself swimming in a sea of stress and discontent. 🌊 It’s like trying to navigate without a compass—I lose my sense of direction and purpose. So, I make it a priority to carve out moments for prayer, meditation, and reflection…

    Balancing Exercise and Indulgence

    As for exercise, well, let’s just say menopause has hit me like a ton of bricks. 💪 I’m still working on finding the perfect balance between staying active and indulging in a few too many comfort foods. But I’ve come to realize that moving my body and fueling it with nourishing foods are essential…

    Sprinkles on Life’s Sundae

    And let’s not forget about fun and creative activities—they’re like the sprinkles on top of life’s sundae. 🍦 Whether it’s painting, gardening, or belting out karaoke tunes in the living room, these moments of joy keep me feeling young at heart and connected to my inner child… Jacob and David are the DJ’s in the music department. Look at last weeks post on adding a little fun to a gloomy day!

    The Recipe for a Fulfilling Life

    But here’s the thing: it’s not just about me. It’s about ensuring that my entire family—Jacob included—has access to these essential ingredients for a fulfilling life. As the mom, I often find myself playing the role of chief nurturer, ensuring everyone’s needs are met…

    My husband David is great and does his part for the family and supports me too, but I will get lost in the details and plan without time for myself.

    Join the Journey

    So, here’s the game plan: we all need spiritual nourishment, regular exercise, and plenty of fun and creative outlets. It’s the recipe for a life well-lived, ensuring that each member of the family has the tools they need to thrive. 🌟

    We are all trying to include all of these areas into our schedules so that we are all working and fulfilled. 

    Let’s Laugh, Learn, and Dance

    Join me on this journey of creating time for yourself and self-care, where we’ll laugh, learn, and maybe even bust a few dance moves along the way. After all, life’s too short to forget about the most important things that make life worthwhile. 💃✨

    #autismchallenges🧩

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  • Blog, schedules

    3 New Year’s resolutions for the family? Lol, they have to do with autism and schedules!

    2024 Happy New Year!
    2024 Changes!

    Let’s update those schedules:

    You know it’s time to update those schedules when your calendar looks like a map of a complex labyrinth with more twists and turns than an episode of your favorite mystery series. Trouble changing the schedules? https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/changing-routines-asd Reflecting on the past year, let’s take a moment to acknowledge what worked well and what didn’t in the realm of autism and schedules. As I listen to all the podcasts helping me improve myself, I’ve realized it’s high time we do more of what works and ditch what doesn’t.

    “Hey, kiddo, remember that time we tried to fit in four different therapies, two playdates, and a partridge in a pear tree all in one day? Yeah, let’s not do that again.” So, this year, let’s resolve to establish and maintain a consistent daily routine. This can work wonders for reducing anxiety in children with autism and schedules. We’ll make a visual schedule or use a calendar to outline the day’s activities. Therapy sessions, schoolwork, playtime, and meals all get a slot. How Simple Planning Ahead Can Save the Day When Working with Someone Who Has Autism! These are areas that need attention when dealing with autism and schedules, and they’re like a puzzle – easy to make small daily changes to improve. We’ll stick to this routine as closely as possible but allow for some flexibility when necessary because, let’s face it, life can be as unpredictable as the weather.

    Streamline the budget:

    Let's update those schedules!
    Do more of what’s working and cut what’s not working.

    Now, let’s talk finances. If your wallet has a perpetual echo because it’s always empty, well, you’re not alone. Jake’s idea of budgeting is handing over his wallet with a look that says, “Refill, please!” If only money could be as easily replenished as a snack jar.

    But seriously, it’s time to streamline the budget. We’re trying to teach Jacob the fine art of money management. As for us adults, we’re taking a closer look at our financial habits. It’s like a yearly clean-up for your bank account, an essential aspect of managing autism and schedules. And believe me, it’s a lot less messy than cleaning out the garage.

    Self-Care, Better Diet, and Exercise:

    Ah, self-care. That elusive concept that often feels like a mythical creature when you’re juggling the responsibilities of parenting a child with autism and schedules. But hey, we’re resolving to make it happen this year. We’ll prioritize self-care as a family resolution, especially within the context of autism and schedules. We’ll ensure that both parents get opportunities to recharge. Whether it’s through regular breaks, date nights, or pursuing hobbies and interests. Because a well-rested and emotionally supported family is like the Avengers of autism parenting – we’ve got superpowers!

    Now, let’s talk about the diet. We’ve realized that a diet consisting solely of chicken nuggets and Dr. Pepper probably won’t lead to Jacob becoming the healthiest adult on the planet. So, we’re all in for incorporating better eating habits into our lives alongside autism and schedules.

    And exercise? Well, that’s going to be a family affair. David’s got this habit down, but Jacob and I might need some extra motivation. Even Jake’s older brother, Nicholas, is racking up steps on his college campus, making us all look bad. Jacob does have a thing for spinach, broccoli, and carrots. So, we’ll be working those into the schedule more often to help improve his diet, all part of managing autism and schedules. As for me, well, I’m thinking of trying out the Mediterranean diet – anything that doesn’t involve counting how many chicken nuggets I’ve consumed.

    These resolutions are like puzzle pieces themselves, creating a supportive and structured environment for the whole family, all while considering the specific needs of a child with autism and schedules. We’ll use the desire for a schedule to throw in some good small habits that will add up over time. Who knows, maybe we’ll even find a way to schedule in some spontaneous fun along the way.

    Need help with schedules? Check out my previous blog post: “How to create a personalized schedule for children with autism”

    Have a blessed and Happy New Year!

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