Special Needs Parenting

  • Ways to have peace? Creating time for yourself, not just your child with autism.

    Welcome to the chaotic yet rewarding journey of parenting a child with autism while creating time for yourself! 🌟 As parents, we often find ourselves tirelessly dedicated to meeting our children’s needs, especially when they require extra support and attention. But amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to forget one essential component: ourselves.

    Trying to find an Honest Man in Congress

    I’ll be the first to admit, finding time for self-care as a parent of a child with autism can feel like trying to find an honest man in congress. 🧵 But after years of juggling appointments, therapies, and meltdowns, I’ve come to realize that carving out moments of peace for myself is not only beneficial—it’s downright essential.

    Creating Time for Yourself

    In this blog post, I’m excited to share my journey of discovering the importance of self-care and finding peace amidst the chaos of raising a child with autism. So let’s find the humor and practical tips, let’s embark on this adventure together and uncover the joys of creating time for ourselves, not just our children. 💆‍♀️

    Grab Your Favorite Mug

    #coffeeandabook, to relax and unwind I love coffee and a book!
    #coffeeandabook

    So grab your favorite mug of coffee (or tea, I won’t judge!), find a cozy spot to sit back, and let’s dive into the wonderful world of self-care for autism parents. Because trust me, you deserve it! I’m trying not to look at the calories in this Starbucks cup. 🍵✨

    The Wonderful World of Parent Swaps
    Pictures of mom and the boys!
    Mom and I always babysat for each other!

    Ah, the wonderful world of parent swaps—where exhaustion meets camaraderie, and sanity is traded like currency. 😅 Back when my mom was still alive, and I was knee-deep in the trenches of parenting with two small kids, one of whom had autism, we had a beautiful arrangement…

    I would help with my dad, he had COPD and needed assistance in the end years. I also, needed moments of running errands without two small children all over me! It was a great time, I loved spending time with my dad and my mom and dad loved spending time with their grandchildren. Win-Win!

    Discovering Peace Amidst the Chaos

    Yet, amidst the chaos and unexpected turns of life, I’ve found peace. 🕊️ I’ve come to accept our journey for what it is and embrace the support system that surrounds us. But perhaps the most significant lesson I’ve learned is this: I need more than just making my son’s life better…

    Prioritizing Spiritual Nourishment
    #blessed
    Trying to keep God first, not just when things go wrong.

    Without dedicating time to nurture my spiritual life, I find myself swimming in a sea of stress and discontent. 🌊 It’s like trying to navigate without a compass—I lose my sense of direction and purpose. So, I make it a priority to carve out moments for prayer, meditation, and reflection…

    Balancing Exercise and Indulgence

    As for exercise, well, let’s just say menopause has hit me like a ton of bricks. 💪 I’m still working on finding the perfect balance between staying active and indulging in a few too many comfort foods. But I’ve come to realize that moving my body and fueling it with nourishing foods are essential…

    Sprinkles on Life’s Sundae

    And let’s not forget about fun and creative activities—they’re like the sprinkles on top of life’s sundae. 🍦 Whether it’s painting, gardening, or belting out karaoke tunes in the living room, these moments of joy keep me feeling young at heart and connected to my inner child… Jacob and David are the DJ’s in the music department. Look at last weeks post on adding a little fun to a gloomy day!

    The Recipe for a Fulfilling Life

    But here’s the thing: it’s not just about me. It’s about ensuring that my entire family—Jacob included—has access to these essential ingredients for a fulfilling life. As the mom, I often find myself playing the role of chief nurturer, ensuring everyone’s needs are met…

    My husband David is great and does his part for the family and supports me too, but I will get lost in the details and plan without time for myself.

    Join the Journey

    So, here’s the game plan: we all need spiritual nourishment, regular exercise, and plenty of fun and creative outlets. It’s the recipe for a life well-lived, ensuring that each member of the family has the tools they need to thrive. 🌟

    We are all trying to include all of these areas into our schedules so that we are all working and fulfilled. 

    Let’s Laugh, Learn, and Dance

    Join me on this journey of creating time for yourself and self-care, where we’ll laugh, learn, and maybe even bust a few dance moves along the way. After all, life’s too short to forget about the most important things that make life worthwhile. 💃✨

    #autismchallenges🧩

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  • 3 Ways Jacob’s Monthly Calendar and Daily Schedule Work on Autism Island!

    Jacob’s Monthly Calendar: Autism Island Daily Schedule

    Jacob’s monthly calendar is like a crystal ball, but instead of predicting the future, it prepares him for it. On Autism Island the daily schedule is essential! This calendar isn’t your ordinary one; it’s a lifeline for Jacob, especially when it comes to navigating the twists and turns of daily life on Autism Island.

    The Holiday Countdown:

    Most people use their calendars to mark birthdays and holidays, but for Jacob, it’s a countdown. He eagerly anticipates those special days, and his calendar helps him keep track. When he sees a circled date approaching, he knows it’s time for something exciting.

    Beyond the Week:

    Unlike his weekly schedule, which is all about the here and now, the monthly calendar zooms out. It gives Jacob a glimpse of upcoming events that aren’t part of his daily schedule or weekly routine. Take, for example, doctor’s appointments. With a quick glance, he can see when they’re scheduled, allowing him to prepare for any changes to his regular routine.

    Personal Maintenance:

    doctor's office Jacob's ingrown toenail
    Jacob’s big toe became infected due to picking at skin around toenail that was bothering him.

    We all have those tasks that pop up irregularly but can’t be ignored. For Jacob, it’s the dreaded manicure and pedicure sessions. While it may seem trivial, these appointments are essential. For him, overgrown nails trigger sensory sensitivities, leading to nail and skin picking, which can ultimately result in ingrown toenails. Yikes! So, his calendar reminds us to keep those nails in check.

    I don’t need to put my manicure and pedicure on a calendar because I just take care of it when I feel like taking care of it. But for Jacob, if he starts picking at a nail because it is all of a sudden annoying him we have a big problem. That’s where having a schedule that puts item of regular maintenance down.

    Check out this, our dream residential/day program geared to autism: https://islandautism.org/about-us/island-autism-center /

    Pills and Prevention:

    Managing epilepsy is no small feat. Jacob has a medication regimen that’s crucial for seizure control. His trusty pillbox helps, but it’s his calendar that ensures we never run out of meds. It serves as a reminder to order and refill prescriptions promptly, sparing us any seizure-related adventures. It also reminds me to fill his weekly pill box so it’s ready and accessible to Jacob.

    Jacob’s Weekly Schedule: The Comfort of Routine

    Now, let’s dive into Jacob’s weekly schedule. To many, it might seem monotonous, but for Jacob, it’s a source of comfort and happiness.

    Groundhog Days:
    For Jacob, the consistency of his daily routine brings him a sense of calm.
    For Jacob, the consistency of his daily routine brings him a sense of calm.

    Imagine waking up to a world that’s slightly different every day. Sounds exhausting, right? For Jacob, the consistency of his daily routine brings him a sense of calm. His days follow a structured pattern, from breakfast to meds, schoolwork to chores, and everything in between. Autism mom support, what happens when being a hands on doesn’t stop at 18?

    Mom’s Decision Fatigue:

    As a mom, teacher, and wife, I wear many hats. My daily life can be a juggling act. Jacob’s schedule isn’t just his lifeline; it’s mine too. The more organized I am, the smoother things run for the whole family.

    Autism Island daily schedule, we have so much to keep track of that a schedule is needed to calm the chaos!
    All the different hats we wear!

    So, while Jacob’s calendar and weekly schedule might seem unusual to some, they are the glue that holds our lives together here on Autism Island. They provide predictability, reduce anxiety, and ensure we’re prepared for whatever adventures come our way. Educating Jacob: The Power of Communication in Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Jacob’s monthly and daily schedules work for him:

    1.  Long-Range Planning: Jacob’s monthly calendar helps him anticipate and prepare for longer-term changes and events, such as holidays, birthdays, and doctor’s appointments. It provides him with a visual overview of upcoming activities and transitions, reducing anxiety associated with unexpected changes.

    2. Routine and Predictability: Jacob’s weekly schedule maintains a consistent daily routine, including tasks like breakfast, schoolwork, chores, and free time. This routine brings him comfort and stability, reducing stress and anxiety. It also helps his family manage their busy lives effectively.

    3. Support for Medication and Health Needs: The calendars serve as reminders for essential tasks like medication management. They ensure that Jacob’s epilepsy medication is refilled on time, preventing the risk of seizures. Additionally, the schedule helps Jacob with sensory sensitivities, ensuring his nail care, which can be challenging due to his condition, is not overlooked.

    Whether you’re navigating Autism Island or just looking for ways to bring more structure into your family’s life, take a page from Jacob’s book. Embrace the power of planning, and you might find that a well-structured calendar and routine can be your best allies. Tag us on Facebook or Instagram using #AutismParenting, #SpecialNeedsSuccess, or #MonthlyCalendarMagic

    Want more? Download my ebook and follow us on Social Media! https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg

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  • 3 Ways to Help Your Child with Autism Enjoy Christmas Without Meltdowns and Anxiety!

    Holiday tips for a child with autism
    #parentingautism #childwithautism

    Ho, Ho, Hold on to Your Sanity: Autism-Proofing Your Christmas

    Picture this: twinkling lights, jingling bells, and the joyful sound of kids playing… until a meltdown strikes. Yep, the holidays can be an emotional rollercoaster for both parents when you have a child with autism. But fear not, we’ve got three sleigh-loads of tips to help your child with autism enjoy Christmas without the meltdowns and anxiety!

    Merry Christmas, a child with autism
    Enjoy Christmas and all holidays by planning ahead!

    Have a Schedule: Santa’s Secret to Smooth Sailing

    You know how adults suffer from decision fatigue? Well, imagine that, but for kids with autism. Their processing delays, combined with other learning disabilities, make transitions and language complex terrain. So, let’s simplify the journey.

    Jacob’s schedule and calendar are his North Star, guiding him through the holiday hustle and bustle. Just like we rely on our phones and apps to navigate life, he uses his schedule to keep the chaos at bay.

    When he knows what’s on the agenda, it’s like a backstage pass to his day. No need for lengthy explanations or negotiations; it’s all right there, mapped out. So, when you ask him to do something, he’s ready to roll because he’s got the schedule to back him up.

    Remember, the schedule doesn’t have to be rocket science. Keep it straightforward, make changes as needed, and as long as he can see it, he’ll have less anxiety about the ever-changing holiday plans. It’s a win-win for everyone in the family!

    Christmas photo showing Jacob with headphones on in restaurant to ease noise.
    The headphones helped Jacob in a noisy restaurant.

    Adjust Your Expectations and Their Environment: ‘Tis the Season for Sensory-Friendly Fun”

    Flashback to when our firstborn, Nicholas, was little. We could conquer family gatherings, holiday shows, and shopping marathons with ease. Then, Jacob entered the scene, and suddenly, our holiday game plan needed some serious adjustments.

    Big family events, loud shows, and crowded malls? Not exactly Jacob’s cup of cocoa. Sensory overload and anxiety were always lurking. So, we adapted our environment to fit his needs and ease his holiday stress.

    Seek out sensory-friendly movie screenings and showtimes; they’re a game-changer for families like ours. Prepping ahead of time by watching videos or tutorials related to upcoming activities helps a child with autism feel more at ease. Check out our blog post on [preparing for doctor visits]https://educatingjacob.com/child-on-the-autism-spectrum-navigate-doctor-visits/ for a crash course in anticipatory planning.

    Make short videos or show clips of what to expect. And remember to bring the holiday cheer in your bag of tricks: headphones, earplugs, snacks, and sensory fidgets can be a sanity-saver. We always pack a travel kit with books, a tablet, snacks, and whatever else brings comfort.

    In a nutshell, be prepared for anything. And that means anything!

    We wish you a Merry Christmas
    #ChristmasWithAutism #childwithautism

    Have Fun and Keep It Simple: Savoring the Season

    Guess what? You can still have a holly, jolly Christmas even if you have a  child with autism. You just need to tweak the festivities to suit their comfort zone.

    Go see those dazzling Christmas lights, but be armed with a travel bag of sensory items, snacks, tablets, and headphones. This way, you’re ready for whatever Santa throws your way.

    It’s okay to leave your child out of some holiday activities if it’s not their cup of eggnog. Let them enjoy their comfy environment with their favorite things while you dash through the snow of holiday fun.

    Remember, the most important thing is to savor the season, make memories, and cherish the moments, even if they come with a sprinkle of chaos. Because in the end, it’s all part of your unique, heartwarming, and occasionally hilarious Christmas story. 🎄❄️🌟

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  • 3 ways to Generalize your child’s skills. Include family, friends and school.

    Help your child generalize skills learned.
    Help your child generalize skills learned.

    3 Clever Ways to Help Your Child’s Skills Travel

    Parenting is filled with triumphs. When your child learns a skill, it’s a win.

    But here’s the twist: we don’t want these skills to stay home. We want them to travel, to work anywhere, anytime.

    Welcome to skill generalization, where we teach your child’s skills to be flexible world travelers.

    Skills That Roam: Making Your Child a Skillful Globetrotter

    Imagine your child’s skill as a globetrotter with a passport. They’ve mastered it at home, but can they use it confidently at school or with friends and family?

    In this section, we’re exploring how to ensure skills don’t become homebodies. We’ll give you tips to help your child use their skills wherever they are. It’s like preparing them for a world tour, but instead of landmarks, they’ll showcase their abilities.

    Teamwork: School, Home, and Beyond

    When Jacob was in school, we became a team. It wasn’t just about his teachers; it was a group effort. We teamed up to help him learn and apply new skills, and it worked wonders.

    If you have a child on the autism spectrum like I do here is another blog post you may enjoy: https://www.autismsociety-nc.org/he-has-mastered-this-skill-at-home-why-doesnt-he-do-it-anywhere-else/

    Homework Time: Not Just for School

    We borrowed a page from Jacob’s school schedule playbook. After school, it was time for our version of “homework.” Dinner, cleaning up, tackling homework, getting that room cleaned (which, let’s face it, was a skill in itself), and, of course, brushing those teeth to dazzle the tooth fairy.

    If you need help and suggestions for schoolwork motivation and schedules check out my previous blog post: https://educatingjacob.com/slug-boost-homework-motivation-daily-schedules/

    Hashtag Family
    #family, #friends
    Family and Friends: The Support Squad

    Our family and friends became invaluable allies. They understood that Jacob needed support not just with speech and academics but also in play and social interactions.🤝

    So, when we visited or had gatherings, they joined the cause. They used schedules, they engaged with him, they ensured he felt included and supported. It wasn’t just us; it was a village effort. 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

    Generalization: The Magic of Everywhere Learning

    The magic here is in “generalization.” It’s not enough for a child to learn something in one setting; they need to apply it everywhere. That’s what we achieved by creating a unified front.✨

    At school, at home, and with family and friends, Jacob was learning and using skills consistently. It wasn’t about different rules or routines in different places; it was about one set of skills that applied everywhere.

    The result? Jacob became a skillful globetrotter. He could navigate various situations with confidence because he had practiced those skills in different settings using his schedule.

    So, if you want your child’s skills to be versatile and work seamlessly in all areas of life, remember this: teamwork makes the dream work, no matter where you are. If you need social stories to help with family friends here is another place to look: [Link to Social Stories](https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/children-disabilities/article/social-stories) 📚

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