#SpecialNeedsParenting

  • Blog, schedules

    How Jacob’s Autism Makes Birthday Celebrations Unique on Autism Island.

    Happy Birthday! Autism and Birthdays
    Birthdays may look a little different on Autism Island!

    Autism And Birthday Celebrations

    Life on Autism Island is a journey filled with its own set of adventures and challenges, even if it’s birthday celebrations! If you’ve been following my blog on Educating Jacob, you already know that living on Autism Island means embracing a world where every experience is as unique as the individuals who live here. Birthdays, in particular, stand out as special occasions that are celebrated differently from the mainstream yet are filled with love, laughter, and a touch of unpredictability. Here’s another post you can check out: https://hiblogimdad.com/2018/03/19/does-he-know-its-his-birthday/

    Autism Birthday and Superman!
    Jacob loves Superman!

    A Unique Autism Birthday Celebration 🎉

    Jacob’s birthdays are a testament to how our family has adapted to the beautiful complexities of autism. Like any other child, Jacob eagerly anticipates his birthday. He loves the idea of having a party, but, as many autism parents can relate, traditional celebrations often don’t fit the mold.

    For instance, singing “Happy Birthday” is a ritual that comes with its own set of challenges. 🎶 While the song brings joy to many, for Jacob, it triggers a sensory overload that has him plugging his ears and pacing until it’s over. Despite this, he often wears a smile that warms my heart. 😊 It’s a reminder that he understands the specialness of the moment, even if he experiences it differently. 3 Ways Jacob’s Monthly Calendar and Daily Schedule Work on Autism Island!

    Navigating Sensory Issues 🌟

    Birthday parties often come with sensory challenges for children on the autism spectrum. Here’s how we address some of these issues to ensure Jacob has a joyful experience:

    1. Noise Sensitivity 🎵:
      • Problem: Loud noises like singing, clapping, or party horns can be overwhelming.
      • Solution: We use noise-canceling headphones to help Jacob manage the noise levels. Additionally, we keep the volume low and opt for soft music or nature sounds in the background.
    2. Visual Overstimulation 🎈:
      • Problem: Bright lights and busy decorations can be too much for Jacob.
      • Solution: We choose calming color schemes and avoid flashing lights. Gentle, natural lighting or soft fairy lights work wonders in creating a peaceful ambiance.
    3. Tactile Sensitivities 🎂:
      • Problem: Certain textures in food or decorations might be uncomfortable.
      • Solution: We involve Jacob in choosing party items. From the texture of the cake icing to the fabric of his clothes, we ensure everything feels just right for him.
    4. Unpredictable Situations ⏰:
      • Problem: Surprises or unexpected changes can be unsettling.
      • Solution: We prepare a visual schedule or a simple checklist so Jacob knows what to expect throughout the day. Having a “quiet corner” where he can retreat if things get overwhelming is also a great strategy.

    The Magic of a “Surprise Birthday” 🎁

    Jacob once told me he wanted a “surprise birthday.” It’s these little requests that showcase his unique perspective and make every celebration an adventure. Jacob often draws inspiration from movies or cartoons, which means every year brings a new theme that reflects his current interests.

    One year, it might be a superhero-themed celebration inspired by his favorite animated movie. 🦸‍♂️ The next, it might be something as whimsical as a cartoon character who’s captured his heart. 🦄 These themes make each birthday feel like a new chapter in our Autism Island adventure.

    Evolving Traditions 🥳

    When Jacob was younger, planning birthday parties was a bit easier. We invited close friends and family, and it felt more like a traditional celebration. However, as he’s grown older, the dynamics have changed. Those childhood friends who once joined our celebrations have moved on to lead their adult lives, and Jacob’s social circle has shifted.

    But this doesn’t stop us from creating memorable birthday and other celebrations. We’ve learned to adapt and make the most of what we have. Family dinners, decorations, and special movie nights have become our go-to traditions. 🍿 It’s about creating an environment that Jacob loves and feels comfortable in, which is often a quieter, more intimate gathering. 

    Life on Autism Island 🌍

    Living on Autism Island can sometimes feel isolating. It’s not just about being different from the rest of the world; it’s about embracing those differences and making them work for us. But please don’t mistake this for a sob story. We’re not on the brink of despair; rather, we’re thriving. Autism Awareness happened in April? Jacob’s Autism Education and schedule. 

    Transforming-Chaos-into-Calm-with-Autism-Awareness
    Chaos to CALM!

    Want more? Download our free guide: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg

     

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  • Blog, schedules

    Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    My Home Was in Chaos

    Before Jacob’s autism diagnosis, doctors reassured us with comments like, “He’s meeting his other developmental milestones” and “Boys talk later than girls sometimes.” Jacob was 2 years old and still had no language. After a mom fit in the doctor’s office, they finally put in a referral for speech therapy. It took almost 6 months to get into the speech therapist covered by our insurance. After the first visit, she told me to get him tested and into preschool.

    autism mom worry, When I'm afraid, Psalm 56:3
    1 Corinthians 3:11 “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ”

     

    Autism Diagnosis: The Fear 😔

    Researching autism and therapies!
    Researching and going to approved therapies for autism!

    My confidence as a mom plummeted, and the fear was real. My first son was perfect, with all the typical milestones. It took another 4-6 months to get Jacob tested for autism through the schools and Teacch, who were wonderful and conducted thorough evaluations over several days. The meltdowns at the testing sites stripped the rest of my confidence. I felt like I was being judged by everyone when they happened. I felt clueless.

    Navigating the Early Stages 🍼

    Meanwhile, I learned from watching the speech therapist. Jacob was not comfortable with anyone outside the family. No therapies or testing went well. Jacob was obviously upset to be somewhere other than home. He was a fussy eater, didn’t sleep well at night, frequently had ear infections, then tubes in his ears, and frequent bowel issues. Initially, we blamed the ear infections and eventually had his hearing checked.

    Our home was full of worry by this time. We knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what or how long it would take to get a handle on it. Jacob now had full-on meltdowns as we tried to get speech therapy and more engagement with him.

    The Diagnosis and Initial Steps 🏫

    Jacob was very independent, probably because he didn’t have language to ask us for things. When Jacob started preschool, he did not engage with the other kids and only with the adults when he needed something. The official diagnosis came in, and Jacob was placed into a self-contained autism room. It was necessary because he had no success in the other room, and the teacher had no clue what to do with him. In the autism self-contained room, the teacher started him on a visual schedule from day one. But, there was only a limited time each child could have, and Jacob was really behind, so we started considering homeschooling.

    The Power of Visual Schedules 📅

    Today's Schedule, Jacob-educatingjacob.com
    Jacob’s earlier schedules could not contain more than 1 item per line.

    From that point on, we used visual schedules at home. I started going to the Teacch office, and they helped me build activities that Jacob could understand without needing language. Now, I can build schedules with work (activities) he needs to do to be a member of the family. He discovered he could learn, do work like the rest of the family, and have activities before movies, trains, toys, etc. Can a schedule help hyperactivity in toddlers? #Autism Challenges🧩

    Finding Our Rhythm 🎬

    It took years to figure things out, and Jacob is still not talking, but we started using movie quotes from movies he liked to see him light up. We were speaking his language. We also started using sign language, which really helped Jacob. Using his hands and the visual of watching someone complete a sign allowed Jacob’s brain to locate the word he wanted to say. He learned basic signs that we used while watching a show called Signing Time. 3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?

    Gaining Control and Peace 🧘‍♂️

    We have more confidence as parents and peace in the home now. Jacob has a schedule, he can communicate some of his wants and needs, he’s doing schoolwork and chores, and we also started homeschooling him and his brother.

    His brother, Nicholas, is now in graduate school and Jacob is grown and living at home with us today. He still does schoolwork, chores and shopping with us and he is able to do so with less anxiety using schedules. His day is chaotic and anxious without schedules. We are all much happier now.

    A Message to Other Autism Parents 💪

    To all the parents out there feeling the weight of an autism diagnosis and the chaos that follows, know that you are not alone. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but with patience, love, and the right strategies, you can create a structured and peaceful environment for your child. Remember, it’s okay to have off days. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time. You’ve got this! 💖

    Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Want more information? Sign up for my ebook: https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/tfgvkumbkg Let’s support each other on this journey! 📢💬

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  • Blog, schedules

    3 ways American Sign Language helped my son with autism speak in short sentences?

    Jacob struggled with speaking and communication, but learning sign language helped and made communication and talking fun! Jacob’s language delays often meant frustration and meltdowns because he couldn’t tell us what he wanted. The added sensory and movement of sign language was just what Jake needed to learn and increase his vocabulary.

     

    As a parent, watching your child struggle to communicate can be heart-wrenching. We’ve been there. Our journey with Jacob has had its ups and downs, but introducing American Sign Language (ASL) into his routine was a game-changer. Not only did it provide him with a new way to express himself, but it also bridged the gap between his thoughts and words, reducing his frustration and boosting his confidence.

     

    In this blog post, I want to share how ASL helped Jacob speak in short sentences and how it can benefit your child too. Whether you’re just starting out or looking for new strategies to support your child’s communication, I hope our story can offer some helpful insights and encouragement.

    Below is a snippet of a Facebook Live I did talking about using ASL with Jacob. If you want to watch the whole thing (not long) go to: https://fb.me/e/4uUE8RRw5

    The Challenge of Expressive and Receptive Language

     

    Jacob had a hard time with expressive and receptive language, so telling us what he wanted was difficult. This communication barrier often led to frustration and meltdowns because he couldn’t express his needs clearly.

     

    The Fun of Learning with Signing Time

     

    Learning sign language with the Signing Time videos for kids was fun. We were able to learn together, and Jacob enjoyed being able to show off his new skills. It was also a way to get new videos and books from Signing Time! 📚

     

    Reducing Frustration and Meltdowns

     

    Jacob wasn’t very successful at getting us to understand what he wanted beyond putting our hand on something. This often led to a lot of meltdowns on his end because he was frustrated. It was very upsetting for the rest of the family too. Once he started learning sign language, the frustration lessened because he was able to communicate. 🙌

     

    Building Vocabulary and Language Skills

    Should you use sign language with your child with autism?
    Using Sign Language helped to build Jacob’s vocabulary!

    Learning sign language helped build Jacob’s vocabulary and recall of words he wanted to use. The added sensory input and movement when using sign language was just what Jacob needed to start building short sentences and increase his language skills.

     

    Using Schedules for Predictability and Structure

    The zippered bags contain school work and a short book to read.
    Jacob’s daily school bags for the week!

    Using schedules also helps Jacob because he needs predictability and structure in his day. Before he started reading and learning sign language, we used visual schedules. Visual supports provide a clear and consistent way for Jacob to understand what is expected of him each day.

     

    For those interested in learning more about using visuals to create predictable systems, here is an interesting podcast episode that you can check out: SLP Coffee Talk: Visual Supports Can Create Predictable Systems with Tara Tuchel https://music.amazon.in/podcasts/7bfbbd30-594a-4cce-a4cf-1eb7145aaed4/episodes/3c6dde90-afb4-4154-999f-9ac408c468bc/slp-coffee-talk-visual-supports-can-create-predictable-systems-with-tara-tuchel)

     

    Enhancing Verbal Communication 🗣️

     

    Learning sign language did not decrease Jacob’s speaking to us with his voice; it increased it dramatically. Here is an article I found that supports what we experienced with Jacob. How Sign Language Can Help Your AutisticChild https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autistic-child-sign-language/. 

    If your child is nonverbal and doesn’t increase their vocalization and speaking with their voice, so what! Speaking with sign language is still speaking and communicating your wants and needs. 🤟

     

    Your child will do whatever is easiest for them, and that should be good enough for anyone! Every form of communication is valid, and the goal is to reduce frustration and increase understanding. Celebrate their progress, no matter the form it takes.

     

    Engaging with Signing Time

     

    Jacob had fun learning language with the Signing Time videos. You can explore their resources here: Signing Time https://www.signingtime.com. It looks like they have digital downloads now, but you can also buy DVDs from Amazon. 📺

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  • Blog, schedules

    Why Hurting My Back and Foot Was So Scary: A Parent’s Journey with Autism

     

    Foot pain, Morton's neuroma
    Electrical Stimulation to relieve pain and swelling!

    Ah, the holiday season – a time of merriment, joy, and usually, a whole lot of hustle and bustle. But this year, as the carolers started singing and the twinkling lights adorned our neighborhood, I found myself facing an unexpected challenge – a hurt back and a throbbing foot. Now, for most people, this might just be an inconvenience. But for me, it was terrifying. Why? Because I have a son named Jacob, and he depends on me like a ship depends on its anchor.

    The Aging Realization:

    Sciatica, Mortons neuroma a week before Christmas Break! Sciatica and Mortons Neuroma

    There I was, limping around like a wounded penguin, with my foot throbbing in protest and sciatica making me feel like a character from a sci-fi movie. And all I could think of was, “I’m getting older.” It’s a harsh reality we all eventually face, but as a parent of a child with autism, it hits a little differently. It’s a reminder that I will always have a child who relies on me, no matter how many candles are on my birthday cake.

    The Ominous “What Ifs”:

    For any parent, the thought of hurting yourself and being unable to care for your child is terrifying. But when your child depends on you for almost everything, it’s a whole new level of scary. The “what if” scenarios played on a loop in my mind. What if I couldn’t work? What if I couldn’t take care of Jacob? It was like a suspenseful thriller, and I was anxiously awaiting the next plot twist.

    Jacob to the Rescue:

    Schedules for autism saved the day
    #schedulessavedtheday

    But here’s the silver lining in this unexpected cloud – Jacob has been incredibly helpful. It turns out my meticulous planning and our well-oiled routines paid off. Jacob’s schedule for our daily activities has been a savior. He knows what to expect, and he’s adapted like a champ.

    Grocery Shopping Adventures:

    Picture this: I’m hobbling around like an extra from a zombie movie, clutching onto a shopping cart for dear life. Jacob, my trusty sidekick, doesn’t mind my slower pace. He even helps pick out the perfect cart. It’s teamwork at its finest, and it warms my heart.

    Adjustments and Understanding:

    On days when I’ve been less patient and more like the Grinch, Jacob’s been understanding. I’ve had to make adjustments in his schedule, like moving his haircut and shave day to Saturdays when I have more energy. And guess what? He handled it like a pro. No meltdowns, no tantrums. It’s like he knew that sometimes, life throws us curveballs, and you have to adjust your swing.

    The Reassurance:

    So here’s the thing – it’s still frustrating for me as a mom. My foot isn’t magically healed, and my back still aches. But you know what? It’s not as scary anymore. I’ve realized that all the hard work we put into creating routines and schedules has paid off. Jacob can adapt. He can handle change. He’s stronger and more resilient than I sometimes give him credit for. For more tips on parenting check out last weeks blog, Why buying Christmas presents can be hard when the child has autism.

    A Merry Christmas Indeed:

    As I reflect on this holiday season, I feel blessed. My foot might be hurting, but my heart is full. Jacob and I have weathered this unexpected storm together. So, to all the moms out there facing similar challenges with their amazing kids, know that you’re not alone. May your Christmas be filled with peace, joy, and the unwavering love that only a parent can understand.

    Merry Christmas, everyone! 🌟🎄🎁

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