Why We Had to Build a Calm Autism Routine 🧩

In the beginning, our home ran on pure chaos. 😅 Jacob wanted to be in charge (after all, from a child’s perspective, getting your way seems like the best plan!). And naturally, I wanted things to run smoothly my way too. We were butting heads daily.

Through years of trial and error, we realized something fundamentally important: The adults have to be the leaders. 🚦 Not through force or yelling, but by creating a predictable and safe environment that both honors our child’s autism needs and keeps the household flowing smoothly.

I didn’t want to end up like families I’ve seen over the years — exhausted, desperate, and physically overpowered by a child-turned-teen or adult who never learned that adults set the boundaries. That path is heartbreaking for everyone involved. 💔

So we made a deliberate change. How to reduce chaos at home with an autistic child using my CALM frameworks.

We committed to structure. Teaching Jacob that while he has meaningful choices, adults are responsible for the daily flow. We built our CALM autism routine to protect not only Jacob’s future but the emotional and physical health of our entire family system. Three Things I Fear Parenting an Adult Autistic Child Who Can’t Live Alone 😟💙

The Power of Visual Communication 📋

Visual schedules have been our absolute lifeline. Instead of verbally directing Jacob what to do all day long (which inevitably led to frustration and sensory overload for both of us), he now follows a visual roadmap of his day that provides clear expectations.

✅ Less verbal prompting
✅ Greater independence for him
✅ Reduced stress for parents
✅ Fewer meltdowns during transitions
✅ More harmony throughout our home

Now, Jacob can independently check his schedule and understand what’s coming. If he’s feeling uncertain or getting stuck, I gently redirect his attention to the visual schedule. 🧠 No lengthy explanations needed — just a simple visual reminder and gentle encouragement toward the reward or break strategically built into his day.

Making Room for Flexibility

Here’s an important tip for autism parents just starting with routines: If your child isn’t feeling their best or the day becomes overwhelming, it’s perfectly okay to modify the schedule. Flexibility is a necessary life skill, and showing them that plans can adapt to circumstances teaches important resilience and coping strategies too.

A calm autism routine doesn’t mean rigid and unyielding. It means predictable foundation, yet flexible when genuine needs arise. ➡️ Need help with boundaries? Look at Therapy in a Nutshell. This is a clip explaining boundaries.

A Peek Into Jacob’s Daily Life 🌞

Here’s what our typical weekday looks like with our moderate/severe autism routine (you don’t have to put times) :

Morning Block:

• 7:00 AM – Wake up and hygiene routine (visual bathroom checklist) 🚿
• 7:30 AM – Breakfast and morning visual schedule review 🍳
• 8:15 AM – Reading practice with visual supports 📚
• 9:00 AM – Math activity with manipulatives ➗
• 9:45 AM – Movement break (30-minute walk or trampoline time) 🚶‍♂️

Mid-Day Block:

• 10:30 AM – Sensory activity or preferred interest time 🧩
• 11:15 AM – Life skills practice (varies by day) 🧹
• 12:00 PM – Lunch and short rest period 🥪
• 1:00 PM – Afternoon activity (community outing, appointment, or additional learning) 🎥

Evening Block:

• 4:00 PM – Free choice time (with visual choice board) 🎮
• 5:30 PM – Dinner preparation and family mealtime 🍽️
• 6:30 PM – Evening activity (family game, movie, or quiet time) 📺
• 8:00 PM – Begin wind-down routine (visual checklist) 💤
• 9:00 PM – Bedtime 😴

Throughout our day, we strategically incorporate meaningful choices (“Would you like to do your walk before or after your reading time?”) and intentional celebrations (“You completed your entire morning routine using just your visual checklist! 🎉”).

These seemingly small victories accumulate into significant confidence and independence over time. Each successful day reinforces the routine and builds Jacob’s trust in the system we’ve created together. Teaching Chores: Building Life Skills with Patience and Support for Autism

Finding What Works for YOUR Family

Jacob doesn’t participate in extensive outside social programming besides family outings and community activities, and that’s perfectly okay. 🌎 Everyone’s autism journey looks different.

Some days flow smoothly according to plan, while others present unexpected challenges, but our calm autism routine gives both Jacob and our family the structured framework and tools to navigate whatever situations arise.

Creating Your Own Calm Autism Routine

If you’re feeling ready to implement more structure, here are my top tips:

1. Start small – Begin with just one part of the day that causes the most stress
2. Use visuals – Pictures communicate when words fail
3. Build in rewards – Especially at transition points
4. Be consistent – The routine needs to be predictable to work
5. Allow flexibility – But only change the schedule when truly necessary
6. Celebrate progress – Notice and acknowledge every small win

The key is finding the right balance between structure and flexibility for YOUR child and YOUR family.

You’re Invited to Join Autism Thrive Tribe! 🌟

If creating calm routines is something you’re struggling with, I invite you to join our ➡️Autism Thrive Tribe community. In this supportive space, parents of children with moderate to severe autism share strategies, celebrations, and understanding that can only come from those walking the same path.

Inside Autism Thrive Tribe, you’ll find:

• workshops on implementing the CALM Framework
• Visual schedule templates you can customize
• A judgment-free community of parents who understand
• Direct access to me for questions and problem-solving

To learn more about joining our community, simply click the link above this or send me a direct message. We’re saving a place for you!

Final Thoughts 💬

If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed by the daily chaos, please know that you’re not alone. We’re all navigating this autism journey, just at different points along the path.

I’m not suggesting you must replicate our routine exactly — every child with autism has unique needs, and every family has its own dynamics. But if there’s even one element of our story that resonates with you, I encourage you to try it. Adapt it to your situation. Use it as a starting point to reduce the chaos and anxiety that may be holding your family back from experiencing greater peace and joy. 🌈

Remember, every visual schedule you create is another step toward independence for your child, less anxiety in their daily life, and more peace and happiness for your entire home. We’re cheering you on! 💙

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