Daily Life with an Autistic Son 💙✨

Daily life with an autistic son started off with overwhelm and chaos. But, parenting a child with autism can be a journey filled with love, learning, and, let’s be real—challenges. But after 27 years with Jacob and 14 years in public schools, I’ve learned that living chaos-free is possible! With the right approach, we can create calm, structure, and a thriving home for everyone.

From Overwhelm to Clarity: Our Autism Parenting Journey 🌀💡

When we first started our autism journey, our home was filled with constant stress, frustration, and unpredictability. Every day felt like we were bracing for impact, never knowing when the next meltdown would happen. We were always reacting instead of being proactive, and it was exhausting.

My husband and I, along with our older son, Nicholas, felt the impact of this chaos just as much as Jacob did. The emotional toll was heavy, and at times, I wondered if we’d ever find a sense of peace.

🎯 Our first breakthrough came when we decided to focus on small, clear goals. Instead of trying to change everything overnight, we started setting achievable steps that brought order and predictability into daily life with an autistic son.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in fear, or paralyzed by too many unknowns, the best thing you can do is start with one small focus and build from there. That’s where short-term and maintenance goals come in! 🚀

Why Short-Term and Maintenance Goals Matter 🎯✅

One of the biggest ways we reduced stress in our home was by having a clear plan. Instead of reacting to meltdowns, we started preparing ahead of time. When you set small, clear goals, you create a sense of direction for both you and your child.

Short-Term Goals: Small Steps, Big Wins 🏆✨

Short-term goals are small, achievable tasks that help your child learn new skills. These can be as simple as:

✔ Following a visual schedule for the morning routine 🖼️📅
✔ Brushing teeth independently with step-by-step guidance 🪥
✔ Using a picture exchange system to communicate needs 🗣️🖼️

📌 Why Short-Term Goals Work:
✅ They build confidence 💪
✅ They create predictability 🔄
✅ They help reduce anxiety by showing what’s expected 😌

💡 Tip: Start with skills your child already knows to make following a schedule easier. Success builds confidence!

Maintenance Goals: Keeping Progress Going 🔄🎯

Once your child masters a skill, the next challenge is keeping that progress! If we don’t practice skills regularly, they fade. Maintenance goals help keep those hard-earned skills fresh over time. Some examples include:

✔ Continuing daily self-care routines without reminders 🚿
✔ Practicing learned words or phrases to improve communication 🗨️
✔ Keeping a structured daily routine to reduce anxiety 📆

📌 Why Maintenance Goals Matter:
✅ They reinforce what’s been learned
✅ They promote independence 🙌
✅ They reduce setbacks and keep skills strong 💪

💡 Tip: Use rewards and positive reinforcement to encourage your child to keep up with their progress. 🎉👏

Creating a Daily Life Plan for Your Autistic Son 📖✏️

Want to see progress? Start simple! One of the biggest mistakes parents make is trying to change too much at once. Instead, pick one small goal and build from there.

For Jacob, we started with a visual schedule. I gave him tasks he already knew how to do—like brushing his teeth or putting his shoes on. This way, there was no pushback. He saw that he was capable, and that built his confidence. 💙

📌 How to Start a Simple Plan:
1️⃣ Decide on Your Goal – What do you want to improve? Reducing anxiety? Increasing independence? Start with one focus.
2️⃣ Use Visual Supports – Pictures, checklists, and schedules help autistic children understand what’s expected. 🖼️📋
3️⃣ Keep Instructions Simple – Short phrases and modeling work better than long explanations. 🗣️
4️⃣ Provide Structure – A predictable routine helps reduce anxiety and builds confidence. 🔄✨
5️⃣ Celebrate Progress – Every small win builds momentum! 🎉🏆

📖 Looking for more guidance? Check out my CALM Frameworks, where L = Learning to Create Schedules 📅

The Power of Clear Expectations 🌟🔎

When we set clear expectations for our children, they begin to believe in their ability to learn and do things on their own. Many children with autism struggle with learned helplessness, where they believe they can’t do things for themselves.

👩‍👦 Our goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress! Even if our children won’t reach full independence, they can still learn and grow. The goal is to help them gain as much independence as possible while reducing daily stress and frustration.

Building a Calmer Daily Life with an Autistic Son 💙✨

Let’s talk a lot about my CALM Framework because it transformed my home. If you haven’t read about it yet, here’s a quick breakdown:

✔ C: Consistent Action Forward – Small daily efforts lead to progress. 🚀
✔ A: Always Celebrate Wins – Focus on what your child CAN do. 🎉
✔ L: Learning to Create Schedules – Visual schedules create structure. 📅
✔ M: Mindset – Believe that change is possible. 🧠

Making It Work for Your Family 🏡💡

Overwhelmed? Start small. Choose one short-term goal and one maintenance goal. Write them down. Make them simple and clear.

✔ Example Short-Term Goal: Teach your child to follow a simple visual schedule.
✔ Example Maintenance Goal: Keep a consistent bedtime routine every night. 🌙

Over time, these small wins add up! You’ll start to see less chaos and more progress in daily life with your autistic son. 🎉

📖 Recommended Reading: Atomic Habits by James Clear – He talks about the power of committing to small actions, which is exactly what we need as autism parents! 📚

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone on This Journey 💙🤝

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this—you are not alone. Every autism parent faces challenges, but with small, consistent efforts, you can create a structured, calm, and thriving home. 💙

Progress doesn’t happen overnight, but by setting clear short-term and maintenance goals, you’ll see your child gaining independence and confidence. Every little step forward is a win worth celebrating. 🎉👏

Join the Autism Thrive Tribe! 🌟👩‍👦

Want more support, practical strategies, and encouragement from parents who truly understand? 💙 Join our Autism Thrive Tribe—a community built for parents just like you!

✅ Connect with others who get it
✅ Learn practical, tested strategies
✅ Celebrate wins and get real-life advice

🔹 Click here to join Autism Thrive Tribe today! 🔹

Together, we can ditch the chaos and create a joyful home. Let’s take this journey together! 💙✨

Let’s Reduce the Stress and Build a Happy Home! 🏡💙

Parenting a child with autism is not easy, but with the right tools and mindset, it can be joyful!

✨ Let’s reduce the stress, bring more calm into your home, and help your child build the confidence to learn and grow.

📢 What’s ONE small goal you’re setting for your child this week? Let me know in the comments! 💬👇

📖 Related Posts:
📌 The Magic of Committing  This post by James Clear on clarity, life lessons
📌 How to Achieve CALM on Autism Island  earlier blog post that may help!