parenting tips

  • Blog, schedules

    Autism and the Holidays: Shaping the Season with a Positive Mindset

    autism and holidays, Relax with a date night to kick off the holiday month!
    Date Night! #ZachWilliams

    Ah, the early years of dealing with autism, how to have autism and holidays? The days were a rollercoaster of emotions – anxiety, stress, depression, and yes, let’s not forget the ever-present financial strain from therapies not covered by insurance. But hey, welcome to the world of parenting a child with autism, right? https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/home-holidays-ways-make-sure-your-autistic-child-enjoys-their-break

    Rolling in the Memories 🎢

    family and christmas time
    Jacob’s dad David and Older brother Nicholas!

    Fast forward a couple of decades, and I’ve not only survived numerous family holidays but also successfully guided my students through adapting to change and finding joy along the way.

    From those early, challenging years to the present day, I’ve learned that having a plan and setting boundaries for myself and my son can turn the holiday season into a time of joy and happiness. I’ve realized that, just like my son, I need structure during this bustling time of year. It’s all about keeping my own days from falling apart, because when they do, well, let’s just say it’s like inviting old pals Anxiety, Stress, and Depression back into my life. And we’re not on speaking terms anymore! Let’s make a plan for autism and holidays. Why these 3 boundaries are desperately needed for my autistic son?

    The Jolly Watchlist 📺

    autism and holidays, Movies we watch in December!
    Movies we watch in December!

    I absolutely adore the holidays, but I’ll be the first to admit that my decorations don’t rival a winter wonderland anymore. My mental bandwidth sometimes resembles a traffic jam, and I don’t always have the time and energy for elaborate decor. But I’m working on it! I do cherish those twinkling lights, and I’m the first one to set up the Christmas tree, queue up the holiday movies, and plan Advent activities to teach Jacob about the birth of Christ.

    Movies like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “While You Were Sleeping,” “Heat Miser, Snow Miser,” “The Grinch,” and “Home Alone” are like little parcels of joy. They infuse the holiday spirit into our hearts and remind us that this season is about warmth, love, and laughter.

    Set Boundaries, Savor Moments 🎁

    So, what’s the secret to keeping your holiday spirits high? Have a plan, and set boundaries. Not everything that comes your way needs a ‘yes.’ For instance, I’ve learned that taking Jake to bustling, noisy places or disrupting his routine doesn’t bring me joy; it brings stress. So, as much as I’d love to say yes to every invite, I have to prioritize his needs and have a caregiver in place when I can’t be there.

    Don’t feel guilty about your boundaries; embrace them, and savor the moments. Inside, I decorate to create a festive atmosphere, watch heartwarming movies, bake cookies, and sip hot cocoa.

    Self-Care Is the Best Gift 🌟

    I’ve also learned the importance of self-care, not just professional development. I indulge in reading for pleasure, especially action-packed books – a brief escape from the daily challenges of being a boy mom. Long baths are a luxury I occasionally treat myself to. Finding time for exercise is a goal I’m still working on. After a day filled with special needs at home and school, I often suffer from decision fatigue and every other kind of fatigue imaginable. But I’m learning to plan better, particularly for meals and exercise.

    In the end, it’s all about maintaining that positive mindset. With a plan, boundaries, a touch of self-care, and a sprinkle of holiday joy, the holiday season can be a time of joy, even for parents of children with autism. So here’s to embracing where you are and enjoying life, one festive moment at a time! 🎄🧡 #positivemindset How Jacob has success daily without anxiety. #autismchallenges

    Holiday Mindset 🎄
    autism and holidays, Advent activities for Jacob!
    Advent activities for Jacob!

    So, as we dive headfirst into the holiday season, remember, don’t compare your life or your child’s journey to anyone else’s. Celebrate where you are, and how far you’ve come. Life is a unique journey, and no two paths are the same. Keep a journal if it helps; it’s a wonderful way to witness the progress you and your child have made over the years. Here’s a previous blog post if you want more tips: 5 ways to regain my calm when my special needs child is dancing on my last nerve!

    Through all the highs and lows, the challenges, and the laughter, we’re moving forward. We’re blessed with the opportunity to love, learn, and grow with our extraordinary children. 🌟📖💪 #movingforward #blessed

    Read More

  • Uncategorized

    Empowering Special Needs Children with Self-Care Skills: Our Inspiring Journey

    Self-Care for Special Needs
    For Jacob pictures in schedules were a game changer!

    Our Story: A Tale of Triumph over Autism’s Language Labyrinth

    Meet Jacob, our fiercely independent son who, thanks to his autism, had a unique way of getting his point across. Instead of words, he’d take us by the hand and lead us to what he wanted. At first, we were told, “Boys develop speech later,” but as time passed, we learned it wasn’t that simple.

    These additional signs, such as being solitary, hand flapping when excited, and specific preferences for clothing and food, were further indications of Jacob’s unique needs and characteristics.

    Early Signs and Diagnosis

    Keep calm!

    Jacob’s first language was independence. He’d approach us when he needed something, but conversation? Not his forte. Ear infections added to the puzzle – after all, it’s hard to talk when you can’t hear. Then, the revelation: autism. Suddenly, language became an intricate maze for our little Jacob.

    Jacob’s speech therapy was eventually approved, but the wait lasted for six long months before a spot opened up. When it finally did, the therapist was exceptional. She recognized things that I had overlooked and strongly suggested that I take Jacob to TEACCH for evaluation and additional insights into why speech was still eluding him.

    Seeking Help and Support

    Our journey to empower Jacob began with an autism diagnosis from a TEACCH psychiatrist (yes, they’re real-life superheroes). They offered priceless advice: join every waiting list, apply for every service, and sift through the options later. It was a waiting game, but oh, the wisdom!

    After much consideration, we decided to accept the services that would involve workers coming to our house and even taking Jacob out into the community. This approach was aimed at helping him generalize skills and become an integrated part of both our family and the community. It was a challenging path, as it took five long years on a waiting list, and there were numerous adjustments for Jake and the entire family. However, the results were incredibly rewarding.

    Working together as a team, we utilized various supports and schedules to aid Jacob in learning and managing his self-care routines. This collective effort empowered him to become more independent over time.

    The Power of Visual Schedules

    Jacob with laundry, dishes and movies when chores are done.
    Chores and movie when complete!

    Now, picture this: I, a non-teacher, tasked with creating boxes of coins and schedules. Initially baffled, I wondered if we were training a tiny bank teller. Yet, I stuck with it. Our home soon resembled a museum of pictures, schedules, and how-to guides. Words were too much for Jacob; he needed visuals to navigate life’s map.

    Following Jacob’s diagnosis, I made a significant life change. I returned to school, left my job, and set out on a new career path: becoming a Special Education teacher. My driving force was the strong desire to not only assist my son but also other mothers who found themselves in a similar situation, feeling clueless about how to support their children.

    During my time in school, while still juggling work commitments, I made the life-altering decision to homeschool Jacob. The details of that adventure are a story for another day, but I can proudly say that it was a success!

    The Transformation
    Smiles_family_fun
    Pic’s of the family over the years during summer!

    And here came the transformation. Our house became a non-verbal wonderland, complete with sign language. Sign language, you say? Wasn’t that a no-no for speech development? Not for us. Sign language became our bridge to speech, a magical catalyst. Jacob began speaking when he saw and used signs, proving that sometimes more communication tools are better.

    Collaboration and Progress

    Navigating the web, we found TEACCH and Do2Learn, our autism knowledge goldmines. Therapists and professionals became our partners, sharing victories and tips to help Jacob progress. Teamwork made the dream work. Need more help with schedules see this previous post:“How To Create A Personalized Schedule For Children With Autism”

    https://educatingjacob.com/blog/page/4/

    In parting, I’ll share a simple yet powerful strategy: visual sequences. For instance, laminating a card with toothbrushing steps, placed by the sink, is a game-changer. Less talk, more action! These strategies not only transform your child’s life but also bring smiles and happiness to the whole family. Here is link for the web site mentioned that will help with the pictures. https://do2learn.com/picturecards/printcards/activities_everyday.htm

    The information on TEACCH is: https://teacch.com/

    Read More

  • Blog, schedules

    3 Simple ways to use choices to make connections and learning fun for those on Autism Spectrum!

    Monday_Friday_Work_Schedule_Pouches
    This is a picture of Jacob’s Monday-Friday zippered pouches that hold his school work!

    First, I created schedules for Jacob so that he could choose the order in which they were completed. Second, Jacob could choose what activities he wanted to do once the schedule was done. Third, by using schedules with built-in choices, I gave Jacob the predictability and structure that he needs to keep anxiety and emotional regulation in check. 📅✅

    Choices are like the secret weapons in our arsenal of connection and learning, especially when it comes to navigating the labyrinth of the autism spectrum. If you’re on this roller coaster of a ride, you know that sometimes it’s like having Darth Vader unexpectedly show up in a rom-com movie – a mix of surprises, challenges, and a few laughs along the way. 🎢🧩😄

    Jacob’s Journey: From Chore Dread to Delight

    celebrate all tasks and chores completed by your child on autism spectrum
    Celebrate all tasks and chores completed!

    Enter Jacob, our household hero 🦸‍♂️ who embarked on a chore journey that promised both epic battles and heartwarming victories. Picture this: the first time we floated the idea of chores, I was half-expecting dramatic background music à la Darth Vader’s theme – because, let’s be honest, even chores can feel like an intergalactic quest. 🎶🌌

    Armed with Patience, Creativity, and Humor

    But fear not, fellow adventurers, because we faced this challenge armed with an unshakable combo of patience, creativity, and yes, a touch of humor. With lightsabers… okay, maybe not actual lightsabers, but definitely a light-hearted approach, we ventured to transform Jacob’s perspective on chores from dread to delight. 💡✨😄

    Transforming Mundane Tasks into Cosmic Missions

    At the core of this transformation were three simple yet potent tips that held the power to rewrite the chore playbook. We delved into the world of schedules, weaving choices into Jacob’s day that resonated with his quest for predictability. These choices became more than just checkboxes; they were his way of cracking the code of the world around him, a chance to have his say in the grand cosmic dance. 📅✅🌟

    Empowerment Through Choice: A Path to Connection

    Roadmap for choices
    Use schedules with built in choice for connection and learning!

    Jacob has problems with receptive and expressive language. Having a conversation isn’t happening, and he will shut down because it takes too long to process. He loves movies and quotes from them because they say the same thing every time. Speaking with a person is different every time. 🗣️🤐🎬

    Schedules are short, sweet and easy for Jacob to understand! It eases his anxiety for the day and gives him the predictability he needs to help regulate his emotions. 📅✨😌

    Choices at Home: More Than Chores

    Giving Jacob choices in the form of visuals, or a schedule where he can choose when to complete something during his day makes him empowered and confident. It also makes him happy and connected with me for helping him understand. It also shows I care to include the choices he enjoys along with chores that need to be done as part of the family. 🎨⏰😊👩‍👦‍👦

    movies_drawing_fun
    This is Jacob drawing something from a movie cover after homework is complete!
    Choices at School: Bridging Learning and Connection 🏫

    At school during the day, I’m a special education teacher. I give my students schedules based on their present level in academic areas, and choices after the work are based on their preferences. 📚👩‍🏫

    Creating Independence and Connection 🌟

    If they complete my work, they are allowed to do activities that are more to their liking. They are more willing to do my work and are happy to come to my room for work when they feel they will have a say in what happens there. 🙌😊

    If you are looking for something just for your child on the spectrum you might look into activities like summer camp through the Autism Society. Check out this post: https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/embracing-spectrum-12194587/winning-lottery-2729998147

    Jacob’s Journey: Visual Schedules and Independence 🛤️

    In the beginning of Jacob’s journey, in order to get Jacob to understand his day, we used visual schedules. His day was a series of pictures that told him what to do; he also had pictures of activities that he loved to do placed in between work or chores to keep him happy and moving through the day. 🖼️🕒

    Nee help with schedules? Check out this post: Help! 3 Ways a schedule can help sensory issues and communication barriers? #Autism Challenges🧩

    From Dread to Delight: The Power of Choice 💡

    This allowed me as a mom to take a breath and do my own chores. After all, our job is to create independent humans! The mother bear in me wanted to protect and keep him happy, but the tired, worn-out momma needed him to learn and start becoming independent without being a “me” monster no one wanted to be around. 🐻💤

    Three Simple Strategies for Choices and Connection 🔄

    1. I created schedules with work, and he was able to choose the order in which he completed them. ✅
    2. After the work he chose was completed, Jacob could choose what activities he wanted to do. 🎨🎮
    3. By using schedules and built-in choices, I gave Jacob predictability and structure that he needs to keep anxiety and emotional regulation in check. 🗓️

    Embrace the Adventure of Choices
    So, prepare to embark on a journey where choices light up the path and humor is our trusty sidekick. Life is a series of choices, and each choice has the potential to create ripples of change. So, are you ready to wield your lightsaber of choice and embrace the adventure? Let’s do this! 🌟💫

    Read More