ParentingWithPurpose

  • This too shall pass, how we changed our mindset on autism island!

    When-life-on-Autism-Island-feels-heavy-remember-this-too-shall-pass.-Each-challenge-shapes-us-for-something-greater.-šŸ’›
    Mindset and faith are foundational! 2Corinthians 4:17-18

    How We Changed Our Mindset on Autism

    Life as a parent of a child with autism often feels overwhelming, exhausting, and filled with challenges that seem insurmountable. But over the years, Iā€™ve learned that the mindset for autism parents is not just importantā€”itā€™s foundational. Itā€™s the key to shifting from chaos to calm and creating a path forward for both your child and your family.Ā How does mindset change things when raising a child with autism? šŸ§©

    To develop the right mindset, you need to face your biggest challenges head-on and understand why having a plan is critical. The how comes from taking action and learning from others whoā€™ve walked this journey and can offer guidance and support. As parents, we canā€™t control every situation, but we can control how we respond, and that begins with our mindset.

    A verse from 2 Corinthians 4:17-18: ā€œFor our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.ā€ These words have reminded me to focus on faith, growth, and the hope that keeps us moving forward. You won’t stay in the happy moments forever or the tough moments forever, keep moving forward, This too shall pass!

    In this weekā€™s blog post, Iā€™ll share how we shifted our mindset from frustration and fear to calm and confidence. In EducatingJacobā€™s CALM strategies, the “M” stands for Mindset, and itā€™s the foundation of everything we do. A positive mindset is integral to your confidence as a parent and your ability to guide your family through the complexities of autism. Letā€™s explore how this simple shift can transform your journey and bring peace to your home. šŸŒˆ

    Mindset for Autism ParentsĀ 

    When Jacob was diagnosed with autism, I was paralyzed by fear. I couldnā€™t see past the overwhelming reality and uncertainty of what life would look like for our family. I had always been a mom who tackled everything with enthusiasm, but this was differentā€”I was blindsided. The future felt like an insurmountable mountain, and I had no idea how to climb it.

    But hereā€™s what Iā€™ve learned: mindset is the foundation for everything. Itā€™s the starting point for creating calm in your home, confidence in yourself, and joy in the everyday wins. Through EducatingJacobā€™s CALM framework, Iā€™ve discovered that when parents focus on mindset, they unlock the ability to grow and thriveā€”not just for their child, but for the entire family.Ā How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Have-Faith-in-Your-Journey-Remind-yourself-that-challenges-are-temporary-and-growth-is-always-possible
    Have faith, journal so you can see your journey.

    From Fear to Acceptance: A Mindset Shift

    When our autism journey began, I moved fairly quickly from denial to acceptance, but fear still lingered. I worried about Jacobā€™s future and questioned whether I had the ability to help him thrive like I had with our first son.

    At the recommendation of professionals, I enrolled Jacob in preschool and later in kindergarten. Preschool was roughā€”meltdowns were constant, and the teachers didnā€™t know how to manage his behaviors. Kindergarten was a little better; the self-contained classroom and a caring teacher made a difference. But progress was slow.

    It was clear to me that Jacob needed more individualized attention, and I felt called to step in. I quit my job and began homeschooling Jacob and his older brother. Though it was a hard decision, it was the first step in reclaiming my confidence as a parent and helping Jacob in a way that felt right for him.

    Building Confidence Through Action

    Over time, I realized that confidence doesnā€™t come all at onceā€”it builds with every decision, every step forward, and every win, no matter how small. For me, this journey included going back to school for a masterā€™s degree in special education while working third shift at the hospital. I wanted to not only help Jacob but also make a difference for other children like him.

    The exhaustion was real, but with each decision, my confidence grew. As I learned more about Jacobā€™s specific needsā€”his sensory challenges, communication barriers, and resistance to changeā€”I began to see that we couldnā€™t raise him the same way we raised his brother. Jacob needed an environment tailored to his unique way of thinking and learning.

    Why Mindset Matters for Growth

    A positive mindset became the cornerstone of everything we did. Once I let go of my fear and self-doubt, I could focus on creating plans and strategies that truly worked for Jacob. This wasnā€™t about perfection; it was about progress.

    • Mindset shifts help you face challenges calmly. Instead of reacting emotionally to meltdowns, I began to see them as opportunities to understand Jacob better.
    • A strong mindset builds resilience. Autism parenting isnā€™t easy, but when you approach each day with determination and faith, you gain the strength to tackle even the hardest moments.
    • Mindset transforms your family life. When I shifted my focus from fear to hope, our home became a calmer, happier place, where Jacob could grow and thrive.
    C-Consistent-Action-Forward-ā€“-Progress-happens-one-small-step-at-a-time.-Mindset-helps-you-take-those-steps-without-becoming-overwhelmed.-A-Always-Celebrate-Wins-ā€“-A-positive
    Use the CALM frameworks and celebrate all wins!

    The Role of CALM in Mindset

    In the CALM framework, mindset is the ā€œMā€ for a reason. Itā€™s the foundation that supports everything else: structure, routines, communication, and growth. Hereā€™s how mindset fits into the bigger picture:

    • C: Consistent Action Forward ā€“ Progress happens one small step at a time. Mindset helps you take those steps without becoming overwhelmed.
    • A: Always Celebrate Wins ā€“ A positive mindset allows you to see and celebrate the small victories, which build momentum and confidence.
    • L: Learning to Create Schedules ā€“ A strong mindset helps you implement tools like visual schedules with patience and determination.
    • M: Mindset is the Glue ā€“ It keeps you grounded, focused, and ready to adapt as your child grows and changes.

    Taking Care of Yourself

    One of the biggest lessons Iā€™ve learned is that taking care of myself is just as important as taking care of Jacob. Autism parenting is challenging, and burnout is real. Whether itā€™s finding support from other parents, taking a quiet moment for yourself, or leaning on faith, self-care isnā€™t selfishā€”itā€™s necessary.

    Support can come in many forms:

    • Family and friends who understand your journey
    • Support groups where you can connect with others
    • Coaching or mentorship from someone whoā€™s been where you are

    Remember, you canā€™t pour from an empty cup. By taking care of yourself, youā€™re better equipped to take care of your child and your family.

    Moving Forward: Mindset for Autism Parents

    Changing your mindset doesnā€™t happen overnight, but itā€™s the most important step in moving forward. For Jacob, a tailored plan, consistent routines, and my renewed confidence helped him thrive. And for me, seeing his progress has been the most rewarding part of this journey.

    If youā€™re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, start small. Shift your mindset from fear to hope by focusing on what you can do today. Celebrate every win, no matter how small, and remind yourself that you are the best advocate and teacher your child will ever have.

    With the right mindset, you can create a home filled with calm, joy, and growth for your entire family. Youā€™ve got this, and youā€™re not aloneā€”Iā€™m here to walk this journey with you.

    Embrace-Progress-Over-Perfection-@educatingjacob
    Get a plan and start messy! Celebrate all wins.

    Tips for Building a Stronger Mindset

    1. Embrace Progress Over Perfection: Focus on small wins and let go of the need for everything to be perfect.
    2. Find Your Support Network: Connect with others who understand your journey, whether through local groups or online communities.
    3. Celebrate the Wins: No matter how small, every step forward deserves recognition.
    4. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize your own mental and emotional health so you can show up fully for your child.
    5. Have Faith in Your Journey: Remind yourself that challenges are temporary, and growth is always possible.

    Letā€™s move forward togetherā€”one step, one mindset shift, and one win at a time. šŸŒˆ

    šŸ§ Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. šŸŒŸ

    šŸ“… Schedule a discovery call
    šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamilyšŸ’™#autismmomšŸ˜Ž #autismboymomšŸ˜Ž #autismchallengesšŸ§© #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting

    #askmelissa

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  • Heartbreak to Hope: A Momā€™s Mission Teaching and Learning Autism.

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    I learned that confidence as a parent comes from having a plan and a support system.

    Autism Parenting Journey

    Educating Jacob began from a place of heartbreakā€”Jacobā€™s autism diagnosis left me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and uncertain about how I could give him the life he deserved. My mission of the autism parenting journey quickly became clear: to educate Jacob, help him thrive, and show him a world of love, stability, and possibility. In those early years, I was consumed by doubts and fears of falling short. But over time, with a plan, support, and my confidence restored, I found my footing.

    Today, our home is no longer filled with chaos, and Jacob is learning, growing, and thriving alongside us. This blog post isnā€™t just about our journey; itā€™s a message to moms like you, who may feel overwhelmed and uncertain. You donā€™t need a teaching degree to make a differenceā€”you just need the right tools, a supportive community, and the confidence to keep going. Iā€™m living proof that you can transform heartbreak into hope.

    Heartbreak to Hope: My Autism Parenting Journey šŸ’™

    When Jacob was first diagnosed with autism, our lives were filled with uncertainty and chaos. I was consumed with questions, doubts, and a fear that I wasnā€™t enough for him. But along the way, I discovered that our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope wasnā€™t just about helping Jacobā€”it was about transforming myself, too. Today, I want to share what helped us move from overwhelming chaos to a life of calm and confidence.

    If youā€™re a parent struggling to find a way forward, I want you to know that youā€™re not alone. Youā€™re more than capable, and with the right plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can build a life of stability and joy for your family.Ā How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Step 1: Embrace the Power of a Plan šŸ“…

    In the early days, I was overwhelmed, trying to tackle each new behavior, therapy, and challenge without a roadmap. I realized that to create any sense of calm, I needed a structured plan for Jacob and for myself. This plan became our foundation and the first real step in our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope.

    A plan doesnā€™t have to be complicated; start small:

    • Create a daily routine with a visual schedule. Even simple tasks, like morning routines or meal times, provide comfort and predictability for your child.
    • Break tasks into manageable steps so that both you and your child feel a sense of accomplishment with each step forward.

    Having a plan in place will help you feel more in control, and it gives your child a sense of security, knowing what comes next.Ā Ā How are using schedules improving our autistic childā€™s daily life?

    Step 2: Build a Support System šŸ¤

    I quickly learned that autism parenting isnā€™t a solo journey. It takes a village, and connecting with othersā€”friends, family, support groupsā€”helped me feel less isolated. I found people who understood our struggles, cheered our small wins, and reminded me that I wasnā€™t alone in this journey.

    Ways to build your support network:

    • Join local or online autism support groups where you can ask questions and get tips from parents on similar paths.
    • Involve trusted family members in your routines and caregiving. The more they understand your daily life, the better they can support you.
    • Reach out to professionals like therapists or coaches if youā€™re feeling stuck. Sometimes a fresh perspective makes all the difference.

    Remember, your support network can help lift some of the weight youā€™re carrying, making it easier to be present and confident for your child.

    autism-parenting-journey-and-visual-schedules@educatingjacob.com
    They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see whatā€™s coming up next, one task at a time.

    Step 3: Create Calm with Visual Schedules šŸ“Š

    Once I put a plan and support system in place, I focused on ways to create calm in our daily life. Visual schedules were an absolute game-changer for us. They gave Jacob a way to see what his day would look like, which lowered his anxiety and helped him navigate transitions.

    Why visual schedules work:

    • They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see whatā€™s coming up next, one task at a time.
    • They make routines predictable, which provides security and calm, especially during new activities.
    • They empower your child to anticipate changes and understand that the day has a structure.

    With visual schedules, the days became less stressful for Jacob and for me, allowing us to enjoy our time together more fully.Ā Ā Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    Step 4: Celebrate Every Small Win šŸŽ‰

    In our autism parenting journey, Iā€™ve learned that celebrating the small things makes a huge difference. Every small successā€”whether itā€™s completing a chore, staying calm during an outing, or following the visual scheduleā€”is worth celebrating.

    How to celebrate:

    • Use positive reinforcement like a sticker chart or reward system that your child enjoys.
    • Celebrate with them by doing something small, like a happy dance, a high-five, or a special treat.
    • Reflect on your own wins as well. Take a moment to recognize your progress, resilience, and hard work.

    Celebrating small wins boosts confidence for both you and your child. Itā€™s a reminder that every step forward counts, and each one brings you closer to a calmer, more joyful home.

    Step 5: Believe in Yourself as a Parent šŸ’Ŗ

    The hardest lesson in my journey was to trust myself. I spent years feeling inadequate, questioning whether I was capable of being the mom Jacob needed. But as I watched our life slowly transform from heartbreak to hope, I realized that no one knew Jacob better than I did. I didnā€™t need a degree to be the best parent for him; I needed confidence.

    If youā€™re struggling, remember this: You are your childā€™s biggest advocate and greatest teacher. Trust your instincts, believe in your ability to provide the best for your child, and let go of the idea that you need to be perfect. Your child needs your love, patience, and guidance more than anything else.

    moving-forward-with-hope-autism-parenting-journey
    Iā€™m here, sharing my story, so you donā€™t have to start from scratch.

    Moving Forward with Hope šŸŒˆ

    Our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope has taught me so much about resilience, love, and the strength I didnā€™t know I had. Today, our home is filled with routines, calm, andā€”most importantlyā€”hope. Jacob is thriving, and Iā€™m no longer overwhelmed by the chaos that once felt impossible to manage.

    To every parent in the early stages, feeling like youā€™re drowning in chaos: with a plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can bring calm and joy back to your home. Iā€™ve been in your shoes, and I know how challenging it can feel, but brighter days are ahead. You donā€™t have to walk this journey aloneā€”Iā€™m here, sharing my story, so you donā€™t have to start from scratch.Ā Ā https://autismjourney.org/

    Letā€™s move forward together, from heartbreak to hope.

    Tips for Moving Forward with Confidence and Calm āœØ

    Here are a few tips to help you continue on your journey from chaos to calm:

    1. Start with One Small Change
      Donā€™t feel pressured to transform everything at once. Choose one area of your routine to focus on, like introducing a visual schedule or setting up a consistent bedtime routine. Small changes add up, bringing calm over time.
    2. Seek Support When You Need It
      Remember, youā€™re not alone on this journey. Connect with other autism parents, support groups, or even an autism coach. Having someone to talk to who understands can make all the difference.
    3. Celebrate Your Progress
      Track your progress, no matter how small. Write down the wins and the breakthroughs, both for your child and yourself. Reflecting on these moments will remind you of how far youā€™ve come and help you stay motivated.
    4. Be Flexible, but Consistent
      Itā€™s okay to adjust the plan if something isnā€™t working, but stick with your overall routines. Consistency provides comfort for your child and helps reinforce positive habits.
    5. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion
      Parenting a child with autism is a marathon, not a sprint. Be kind to yourself on tough days, and remember that each step, no matter how small, is progress. Youā€™re doing an incredible job!

    With each of these steps, youā€™re building a calm, structured, and joyful home. Moving forward from heartbreak to hope isnā€™t just possibleā€”itā€™s a journey youā€™re already on. Hereā€™s to more peaceful, fulfilling days ahead for you and your family! šŸŒˆ

    šŸ§Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns? šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm.šŸŒŸ

    šŸ“…Schedule a discovery callšŸ‘‰šŸ¼ Comment CALL or DM me and Iā€™ll send a link šŸ”—Ā 

    Letā€™s work together to create a structured, peaceful home where your child can thrive.šŸ“š

    Book a coaching session today and start seeing real, positive changes in your familyā€™s life! šŸ’™Ā 

    #autismandepilepsy #autismfamilyšŸ’™#autismmomšŸ˜Ž #autismchallengesšŸ§© #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #askmelissa

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  • Why does my child with autism love weekly trips to Harris Teeter?

    My Child With Autism Loves Harris Teeter

    Why does my child with autism love weekly trips? Well, first of all, Harris Teeter makes the best chocolate chip cookies. šŸŖ Okay, maybe not better than mine, but Iā€™m working full time, so they are the BOMB! Our weekly trips to Harris Teeter on Saturday are all about Jacob. He waits all week for us to make our Saturday morning trip.

    Jacob gets to choose his favorite items for the week, and itā€™s just me and him. šŸ›’ Itā€™s a special time for us, and he thrives on the routine. I get my Saturday morning cold brew from Starbucks (I love my Harris Teeter ā˜•), and Jacob gets all his snacks for the week plus some one-on-one time with Mom.

    Children with autism love weekly trips because they love routine! Finding routines and special activities that your child enjoys can make a world of difference. It helps them feel secure and gives them something to look forward to. Plus, itā€™s a wonderful opportunity to bond and create happy memories together. šŸŒŸ

    Helping Your Child with Autism šŸ§©

    schedules over the years
    Jacob as a child with autism loves weekly trips!

    Does taking Jacob to Harris Teeter as part of our schedules/routines help him? Yes! He loves getting the attention and the freedom to choose snacks and fun items he wants during his week while we are all working and doing this thing together called ā€œlife.ā€ šŸ›’ā¤ļø

    Teaching a child with autism to follow schedules is communicating with them. It’s also teaching independence and removing chaos.

    The Importance of Routine and Simple Choices

     

    Simple choices, attention, and a plan for the next week are my goals for Jacob. He is engaged with me and planning out his next week (okay, itā€™s snacks, but itā€™s also money management and understanding how his day will go while we are away at work).šŸ—“ļø

    Creating the schedules and procedures in Jacobā€™s day/week keeps him happy, decreases anxiety, and allows him to live more independently as an adult. It also helps me keep things straight.šŸ’”

    Discover the benefits of routines for children with autism.

    Simple choices can reduce anxiety and foster independence. šŸŒŸĀ  Jacob loves his independence and does not want someone giving him things to do all the time. I don’t blame him I don’t want anyone micromanaging my day either. If a schedule can fix that, why not create one?

    When Jacobā€™s schedule gets behind, anxiety creeps in for him, and things will start falling apart for the rest of the family too. Hello, CHAOS! šŸ˜± Keeping a structured routine not only benefits Jacob but also brings a sense of order and calm to our entire family.Ā No Schedule for Jacob to Use This Week? No Peace! Autism Challenges šŸ§©

    Children with autism love having established and regular routines. This can be a game-changer for the child and the family. It provides a predictable environment where your child feels secure and empowered. šŸŒŸ By involving your child in planning their week, you are teaching them valuable life skills and fostering their independence.

     

    Planning and Independence

    Jacob plans for his workers; he knows what they like and what he does with each of them. This planning helps him feel in control and prepares him for the week ahead. He enjoys doing different activities with different people and wants to know what his day and week will be like.šŸ“āœØ

    Anytime there are changes that need to be added, like a doctor’s appointment, itā€™s easy to do because heā€™s used to seeing a schedule. For a child with autism, a calendar and schedule are their lifeline to a chaos-free day. šŸ“…āœ…

     

    Seeking Reassurance and Stability
    CALM framework
    C.A.L.M.
    Consistent Action, Always Celebrate, Learn to Create Schedules, Mindset

    As soon as someone leaves for the day, heā€™s asking when they will be back. Even if he knows and itā€™s on his schedule, he wants reassurance that nothing has changed! This need for reassurance is common among children with autism, as it helps them feel secure and stable.

    If something needs to be changed like the weekly trip to Harris Teeter, we are saved because he can see it on the calendar!šŸ”„šŸ”

     

    Connection and Practical Tips for Autism Parents

     

    Creating routines and involving your child in simple planning can significantly impact their sense of security and independence. The weekly trips, like our visits to Harris Teeter, can become meaningful rituals that provide structure and joy for the child with autism. šŸŒŸ

    When teaching a child with autism engage your child in activities they love. Give them choices. This shows them that you care about how they feel. These small steps help build their confidence and skills in managing their own lives.Ā How I added games to my son Jacobā€™s schedule to promote socialization.

    Remember, itā€™s not just about the snacks; itā€™s about teaching a child with autism valuable life skills and creating special moments together. šŸ¤—šŸ›ļø

    #autismcoach #autismsupport #autismchallenges #autismfamily

    Here is a link to the free guide:

    https://educatingjacob.myflodesk.com/o01di34gwl

     

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