schedules

  • Why?My heart breaks watching autism parents living in chaos and crying!

    Parenting-a-child-with-autism-is-a-marathon-not-a-sprint
    Slow and Steady Wins the Race!

    Parents Living in ChaosĀ 

    šŸ’” As an autism mom, Iā€™ve been there. Iā€™ve felt the overwhelming heartbreak of not knowing how to ease my childā€™s anxiety, prepare them for family gatherings, or navigate sensory overload moments. Watching videos of parents struggling through Thanksgiving meltdowns or chaotic outings brings back memories of my own journey, and it breaks my heart.

    But hereā€™s what Iā€™ve learned over 27 years with Jacob: there is a better way. šŸŒŸ With the right tools, mindset, and a few autism parenting tips, you can help your child understand boundaries, manage emotions, and embrace changes with less stress. Itā€™s not magic, and it doesnā€™t happen overnightā€”but slow and steady wins the race. šŸ¢

    One of the most important lessons I learned early on was that Jacob would eventually grow bigger and stronger than me, so he needed to understand consequences and acceptable behavior while he was young. Autism isnā€™t an excuse for aggression or bad behaviorā€”itā€™s an opportunity to teach and guide, helping your child thrive within the structure of love and boundaries.Ā https://theautismcafe.com/raising-a-non-verbal-child-i-wouldnt-change-you-for-the-world-but/#google_vignette

    If youā€™re stuck in the chaos, overwhelmed by daily routines, and unsure how to manage tricky interactions with extended family or in the community, this post is for you. Letā€™s explore how to create calm, guide behavior, and bring peace to your family life. When we know better, we do better. šŸŒˆ Together, we can move from chaos to calm. šŸ’™

    moving-forward-with-hope-autism-parenting-journey
    Iā€™m here, sharing my story, so you donā€™t have to start from scratch.

    From Reactive to Calm

    Parenting a child with autism is a journey filled with challenges, growth, and moments that test your patience and strength. šŸ’™ Iā€™ve been thereā€”reactive, overwhelmed, and unsure how to guide Jacob through his meltdowns and behaviors. But over the years, Iā€™ve discovered tools and strategies that have transformed our home, starting with one of the most powerful: visual schedules. šŸ§©

    In this post, Iā€™ll share how we went from a young, reactive mom with no plan to a family that thrives with the help of visual schedules. Along the way, youā€™ll see how these tools became our way to communicate, reduce anxiety, and give Jacob the independence and confidence he craved.

    A Young, Reactive Mom: Learning the Hard Way

    When Jacob was first diagnosed, I was heartbroken. šŸ’” I didnā€™t know how to communicate with him or help him navigate his day. Without a plan, chaos ruled our home. I remember one particular trip to Walmart vividly. Jacob was cutting up in the cart, making my shopping experience miserable. I was frustrated, overwhelmed, and unsure of how to handle the situation.Ā Stop trying old parenting! We Create Autism-friendly family traditions!

    That day, my young, reactive self grabbed a ping-pong paddle from the sporting goods section, marched Jacob to the bathroom, and gave him a couple of pats on the bottom. šŸ“ It wasnā€™t my proudest moment, but it was where I was at the timeā€”reacting to his behavior instead of teaching him how to manage it.

    As time went on, I realized this approach wasnā€™t sustainable. Jacob was growing, and I knew I had to find better ways to guide him, especially since he couldnā€™t understand long sentences or process complex language. I needed a way to communicate effectively with him that didnā€™t rely on words.

    A-mom-creating-a-visual-schedule-at-her-desk-showing-the-step-by-step-process-with-colorful-papers-and-markers
    I learned to put together a visual schedule and activities!

    The Turning Point: Discovering Visual Schedules

    One day, I read a story about a 15-year-old autistic child who had a meltdown in a theme park gift shop. šŸŽ¢ He was overwhelmed, and his mom was powerless to stop it. That story hit me hard. I didnā€™t want that to be Jacobā€™s future. I knew I needed to teach him consequences and help him understand his day in a way that made sense to him.

    When I pulled Jacob out of school to homeschool him, I discovered visual schedules. At first, I didnā€™t see how they could help. I thought, ā€œHow can creating little activities and a schedule make a difference when I canā€™t even have a conversation with my child?ā€ šŸ¤”

    But I gave it a try, and it changed everything.

    A-colorful-visual-schedule-pinned-on-a-wall-with-a-mom-pointing-to-it-her-child-attentively-watching-beside-her
    Visual schedules were a game changer and reduced anxiety.

    Why Visual Schedules Work

    1. They Reduce Anxiety šŸ›‘
      Visual schedules show Jacob what to expect in his day, eliminating the uncertainty that often triggers meltdowns. When he sees his day laid out in simple steps, he feels more in control.
    2. They Build Independence šŸš€
      By giving Jacob a visual guide for his daily tasks, he learned to complete them on his own. Over time, this gave him the confidence to tackle new challenges.
    3. They Foster Communication šŸ’¬
      Jacob struggles with language and long sentences, but visual schedules became our way to ā€œtalk.ā€ They gave him choices and allowed him to understand expectations without feeling overwhelmed.

    Building Structure and Consequences

    Once we had visual schedules in place, we added routines and built-in consequences. If Jacob had a great week, he earned rewards like ordering a movie or game from Amazon on Fridays. šŸ“¦ If it wasnā€™t a good week, he didnā€™t get the reward, and we used the visual schedule to help him understand why.

    For example:

    • If Jacob didnā€™t complete his independent tasks, he would lose screen time for the evening. šŸ“±
    • On challenging days, weā€™d point to something fun on the schedule, like decorating cookies šŸŖ or watching a favorite movie šŸŽ„, to redirect his energy and keep him motivated.

    The Transformation: A Calmer, Happier Family

    Visual schedules didnā€™t just help Jacobā€”they helped our entire family. The consistency gave us peace of mind, and the predictability allowed Jacob to thrive. Over time, I noticed fewer meltdowns, more independence, and a happier child who felt understood and supported. šŸŒŸ

    Today, Jacobā€™s visual schedule includes everything from daily chores to sensory breaks and special activities. He knows what to expect, and if something changes, he can see how it fits into his day. This structure has been life-changing for him and for us as parents.Ā How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Tips for Starting Visual Schedules

    1. Start Small šŸŒ±
      Begin with tasks your child already knows and enjoys. Build confidence before adding more challenging items to the schedule.
    2. Be Consistent šŸ”„
      Stick with the schedule every day. Even when it feels tough, consistency is key to building trust and reducing anxiety.
    3. Celebrate Wins šŸŽ‰
      Acknowledge every success, no matter how small. Jacob loves his Amazon rewards on Fridays, but for younger children, a sticker chart or high-five can work wonders.
    4. Adapt as Needed šŸ”§
      If something isnā€™t working, donā€™t be afraid to tweak the schedule. Remember, itā€™s a tool to support your child, not a rigid rulebook.
    Why Visual Schedules Matter

    Visual schedules are more than just a parenting toolā€”theyā€™re a bridge to better communication, reduced anxiety, and a calmer, more joyful home. Theyā€™ve allowed Jacob to learn, grow, and thrive in ways I never imagined when we first started this journey.Ā Heartbreak to Hope: A Momā€™s Mission Teaching and Learning Autism.

    So, if youā€™re feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, I encourage you to try visual schedules. They transformed our lives, and I believe they can transform yours too.

    Youā€™ve got this, mama. Slow and steady wins the race, and Iā€™m here to cheer you on every step of the way. šŸ’™

    šŸ§Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns? šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm.šŸŒŸ

     

    šŸ“…Schedule a discovery callšŸ‘‰šŸ¼ contact šŸ”—Ā 

     

    Letā€™s work together to create a structured, peaceful home where your child can thrive.šŸ“š

     

    Book a coaching session today and start seeing real, positive changes in your familyā€™s life! šŸ’™

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  • This too shall pass, how we changed our mindset on autism island!

    When-life-on-Autism-Island-feels-heavy-remember-this-too-shall-pass.-Each-challenge-shapes-us-for-something-greater.-šŸ’›
    Mindset and faith are foundational! 2Corinthians 4:17-18

    How We Changed Our Mindset on Autism

    Life as a parent of a child with autism often feels overwhelming, exhausting, and filled with challenges that seem insurmountable. But over the years, Iā€™ve learned that the mindset for autism parents is not just importantā€”itā€™s foundational. Itā€™s the key to shifting from chaos to calm and creating a path forward for both your child and your family.Ā How does mindset change things when raising a child with autism? šŸ§©

    To develop the right mindset, you need to face your biggest challenges head-on and understand why having a plan is critical. The how comes from taking action and learning from others whoā€™ve walked this journey and can offer guidance and support. As parents, we canā€™t control every situation, but we can control how we respond, and that begins with our mindset.

    A verse from 2 Corinthians 4:17-18: ā€œFor our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.ā€ These words have reminded me to focus on faith, growth, and the hope that keeps us moving forward. You won’t stay in the happy moments forever or the tough moments forever, keep moving forward, This too shall pass!

    In this weekā€™s blog post, Iā€™ll share how we shifted our mindset from frustration and fear to calm and confidence. In EducatingJacobā€™s CALM strategies, the “M” stands for Mindset, and itā€™s the foundation of everything we do. A positive mindset is integral to your confidence as a parent and your ability to guide your family through the complexities of autism. Letā€™s explore how this simple shift can transform your journey and bring peace to your home. šŸŒˆ

    Mindset for Autism ParentsĀ 

    When Jacob was diagnosed with autism, I was paralyzed by fear. I couldnā€™t see past the overwhelming reality and uncertainty of what life would look like for our family. I had always been a mom who tackled everything with enthusiasm, but this was differentā€”I was blindsided. The future felt like an insurmountable mountain, and I had no idea how to climb it.

    But hereā€™s what Iā€™ve learned: mindset is the foundation for everything. Itā€™s the starting point for creating calm in your home, confidence in yourself, and joy in the everyday wins. Through EducatingJacobā€™s CALM framework, Iā€™ve discovered that when parents focus on mindset, they unlock the ability to grow and thriveā€”not just for their child, but for the entire family.Ā How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Have-Faith-in-Your-Journey-Remind-yourself-that-challenges-are-temporary-and-growth-is-always-possible
    Have faith, journal so you can see your journey.

    From Fear to Acceptance: A Mindset Shift

    When our autism journey began, I moved fairly quickly from denial to acceptance, but fear still lingered. I worried about Jacobā€™s future and questioned whether I had the ability to help him thrive like I had with our first son.

    At the recommendation of professionals, I enrolled Jacob in preschool and later in kindergarten. Preschool was roughā€”meltdowns were constant, and the teachers didnā€™t know how to manage his behaviors. Kindergarten was a little better; the self-contained classroom and a caring teacher made a difference. But progress was slow.

    It was clear to me that Jacob needed more individualized attention, and I felt called to step in. I quit my job and began homeschooling Jacob and his older brother. Though it was a hard decision, it was the first step in reclaiming my confidence as a parent and helping Jacob in a way that felt right for him.

    Building Confidence Through Action

    Over time, I realized that confidence doesnā€™t come all at onceā€”it builds with every decision, every step forward, and every win, no matter how small. For me, this journey included going back to school for a masterā€™s degree in special education while working third shift at the hospital. I wanted to not only help Jacob but also make a difference for other children like him.

    The exhaustion was real, but with each decision, my confidence grew. As I learned more about Jacobā€™s specific needsā€”his sensory challenges, communication barriers, and resistance to changeā€”I began to see that we couldnā€™t raise him the same way we raised his brother. Jacob needed an environment tailored to his unique way of thinking and learning.

    Why Mindset Matters for Growth

    A positive mindset became the cornerstone of everything we did. Once I let go of my fear and self-doubt, I could focus on creating plans and strategies that truly worked for Jacob. This wasnā€™t about perfection; it was about progress.

    • Mindset shifts help you face challenges calmly. Instead of reacting emotionally to meltdowns, I began to see them as opportunities to understand Jacob better.
    • A strong mindset builds resilience. Autism parenting isnā€™t easy, but when you approach each day with determination and faith, you gain the strength to tackle even the hardest moments.
    • Mindset transforms your family life. When I shifted my focus from fear to hope, our home became a calmer, happier place, where Jacob could grow and thrive.
    C-Consistent-Action-Forward-ā€“-Progress-happens-one-small-step-at-a-time.-Mindset-helps-you-take-those-steps-without-becoming-overwhelmed.-A-Always-Celebrate-Wins-ā€“-A-positive
    Use the CALM frameworks and celebrate all wins!

    The Role of CALM in Mindset

    In the CALM framework, mindset is the ā€œMā€ for a reason. Itā€™s the foundation that supports everything else: structure, routines, communication, and growth. Hereā€™s how mindset fits into the bigger picture:

    • C: Consistent Action Forward ā€“ Progress happens one small step at a time. Mindset helps you take those steps without becoming overwhelmed.
    • A: Always Celebrate Wins ā€“ A positive mindset allows you to see and celebrate the small victories, which build momentum and confidence.
    • L: Learning to Create Schedules ā€“ A strong mindset helps you implement tools like visual schedules with patience and determination.
    • M: Mindset is the Glue ā€“ It keeps you grounded, focused, and ready to adapt as your child grows and changes.

    Taking Care of Yourself

    One of the biggest lessons Iā€™ve learned is that taking care of myself is just as important as taking care of Jacob. Autism parenting is challenging, and burnout is real. Whether itā€™s finding support from other parents, taking a quiet moment for yourself, or leaning on faith, self-care isnā€™t selfishā€”itā€™s necessary.

    Support can come in many forms:

    • Family and friends who understand your journey
    • Support groups where you can connect with others
    • Coaching or mentorship from someone whoā€™s been where you are

    Remember, you canā€™t pour from an empty cup. By taking care of yourself, youā€™re better equipped to take care of your child and your family.

    Moving Forward: Mindset for Autism Parents

    Changing your mindset doesnā€™t happen overnight, but itā€™s the most important step in moving forward. For Jacob, a tailored plan, consistent routines, and my renewed confidence helped him thrive. And for me, seeing his progress has been the most rewarding part of this journey.

    If youā€™re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, start small. Shift your mindset from fear to hope by focusing on what you can do today. Celebrate every win, no matter how small, and remind yourself that you are the best advocate and teacher your child will ever have.

    With the right mindset, you can create a home filled with calm, joy, and growth for your entire family. Youā€™ve got this, and youā€™re not aloneā€”Iā€™m here to walk this journey with you.

    Embrace-Progress-Over-Perfection-@educatingjacob
    Get a plan and start messy! Celebrate all wins.

    Tips for Building a Stronger Mindset

    1. Embrace Progress Over Perfection: Focus on small wins and let go of the need for everything to be perfect.
    2. Find Your Support Network: Connect with others who understand your journey, whether through local groups or online communities.
    3. Celebrate the Wins: No matter how small, every step forward deserves recognition.
    4. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize your own mental and emotional health so you can show up fully for your child.
    5. Have Faith in Your Journey: Remind yourself that challenges are temporary, and growth is always possible.

    Letā€™s move forward togetherā€”one step, one mindset shift, and one win at a time. šŸŒˆ

    šŸ§ Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
    šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. šŸŒŸ

    šŸ“… Schedule a discovery call
    šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

    #autismcoach #autismparentcoaching #autismandepilepsy #autismfamilyšŸ’™#autismmomšŸ˜Ž #autismboymomšŸ˜Ž #autismchallengesšŸ§© #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting

    #askmelissa

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  • Heartbreak to Hope: A Momā€™s Mission Teaching and Learning Autism.

    Problem-and-solution-askmelissa-autismparentingjourney
    I learned that confidence as a parent comes from having a plan and a support system.

    Autism Parenting Journey

    Educating Jacob began from a place of heartbreakā€”Jacobā€™s autism diagnosis left me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and uncertain about how I could give him the life he deserved. My mission of the autism parenting journey quickly became clear: to educate Jacob, help him thrive, and show him a world of love, stability, and possibility. In those early years, I was consumed by doubts and fears of falling short. But over time, with a plan, support, and my confidence restored, I found my footing.

    Today, our home is no longer filled with chaos, and Jacob is learning, growing, and thriving alongside us. This blog post isnā€™t just about our journey; itā€™s a message to moms like you, who may feel overwhelmed and uncertain. You donā€™t need a teaching degree to make a differenceā€”you just need the right tools, a supportive community, and the confidence to keep going. Iā€™m living proof that you can transform heartbreak into hope.

    Heartbreak to Hope: My Autism Parenting Journey šŸ’™

    When Jacob was first diagnosed with autism, our lives were filled with uncertainty and chaos. I was consumed with questions, doubts, and a fear that I wasnā€™t enough for him. But along the way, I discovered that our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope wasnā€™t just about helping Jacobā€”it was about transforming myself, too. Today, I want to share what helped us move from overwhelming chaos to a life of calm and confidence.

    If youā€™re a parent struggling to find a way forward, I want you to know that youā€™re not alone. Youā€™re more than capable, and with the right plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can build a life of stability and joy for your family.Ā How to achieve CALM on Autism Island, daily life on the spectrum.

    Step 1: Embrace the Power of a Plan šŸ“…

    In the early days, I was overwhelmed, trying to tackle each new behavior, therapy, and challenge without a roadmap. I realized that to create any sense of calm, I needed a structured plan for Jacob and for myself. This plan became our foundation and the first real step in our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope.

    A plan doesnā€™t have to be complicated; start small:

    • Create a daily routine with a visual schedule. Even simple tasks, like morning routines or meal times, provide comfort and predictability for your child.
    • Break tasks into manageable steps so that both you and your child feel a sense of accomplishment with each step forward.

    Having a plan in place will help you feel more in control, and it gives your child a sense of security, knowing what comes next.Ā Ā How are using schedules improving our autistic childā€™s daily life?

    Step 2: Build a Support System šŸ¤

    I quickly learned that autism parenting isnā€™t a solo journey. It takes a village, and connecting with othersā€”friends, family, support groupsā€”helped me feel less isolated. I found people who understood our struggles, cheered our small wins, and reminded me that I wasnā€™t alone in this journey.

    Ways to build your support network:

    • Join local or online autism support groups where you can ask questions and get tips from parents on similar paths.
    • Involve trusted family members in your routines and caregiving. The more they understand your daily life, the better they can support you.
    • Reach out to professionals like therapists or coaches if youā€™re feeling stuck. Sometimes a fresh perspective makes all the difference.

    Remember, your support network can help lift some of the weight youā€™re carrying, making it easier to be present and confident for your child.

    autism-parenting-journey-and-visual-schedules@educatingjacob.com
    They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see whatā€™s coming up next, one task at a time.

    Step 3: Create Calm with Visual Schedules šŸ“Š

    Once I put a plan and support system in place, I focused on ways to create calm in our daily life. Visual schedules were an absolute game-changer for us. They gave Jacob a way to see what his day would look like, which lowered his anxiety and helped him navigate transitions.

    Why visual schedules work:

    • They reduce overwhelm by letting your child see whatā€™s coming up next, one task at a time.
    • They make routines predictable, which provides security and calm, especially during new activities.
    • They empower your child to anticipate changes and understand that the day has a structure.

    With visual schedules, the days became less stressful for Jacob and for me, allowing us to enjoy our time together more fully.Ā Ā Autism Diagnosis: My Home Was in Chaos and I Felt Like a Terrible Mom!

    Step 4: Celebrate Every Small Win šŸŽ‰

    In our autism parenting journey, Iā€™ve learned that celebrating the small things makes a huge difference. Every small successā€”whether itā€™s completing a chore, staying calm during an outing, or following the visual scheduleā€”is worth celebrating.

    How to celebrate:

    • Use positive reinforcement like a sticker chart or reward system that your child enjoys.
    • Celebrate with them by doing something small, like a happy dance, a high-five, or a special treat.
    • Reflect on your own wins as well. Take a moment to recognize your progress, resilience, and hard work.

    Celebrating small wins boosts confidence for both you and your child. Itā€™s a reminder that every step forward counts, and each one brings you closer to a calmer, more joyful home.

    Step 5: Believe in Yourself as a Parent šŸ’Ŗ

    The hardest lesson in my journey was to trust myself. I spent years feeling inadequate, questioning whether I was capable of being the mom Jacob needed. But as I watched our life slowly transform from heartbreak to hope, I realized that no one knew Jacob better than I did. I didnā€™t need a degree to be the best parent for him; I needed confidence.

    If youā€™re struggling, remember this: You are your childā€™s biggest advocate and greatest teacher. Trust your instincts, believe in your ability to provide the best for your child, and let go of the idea that you need to be perfect. Your child needs your love, patience, and guidance more than anything else.

    moving-forward-with-hope-autism-parenting-journey
    Iā€™m here, sharing my story, so you donā€™t have to start from scratch.

    Moving Forward with Hope šŸŒˆ

    Our autism parenting journey from heartbreak to hope has taught me so much about resilience, love, and the strength I didnā€™t know I had. Today, our home is filled with routines, calm, andā€”most importantlyā€”hope. Jacob is thriving, and Iā€™m no longer overwhelmed by the chaos that once felt impossible to manage.

    To every parent in the early stages, feeling like youā€™re drowning in chaos: with a plan, a support system, and a little confidence, you can bring calm and joy back to your home. Iā€™ve been in your shoes, and I know how challenging it can feel, but brighter days are ahead. You donā€™t have to walk this journey aloneā€”Iā€™m here, sharing my story, so you donā€™t have to start from scratch.Ā Ā https://autismjourney.org/

    Letā€™s move forward together, from heartbreak to hope.

    Tips for Moving Forward with Confidence and Calm āœØ

    Here are a few tips to help you continue on your journey from chaos to calm:

    1. Start with One Small Change
      Donā€™t feel pressured to transform everything at once. Choose one area of your routine to focus on, like introducing a visual schedule or setting up a consistent bedtime routine. Small changes add up, bringing calm over time.
    2. Seek Support When You Need It
      Remember, youā€™re not alone on this journey. Connect with other autism parents, support groups, or even an autism coach. Having someone to talk to who understands can make all the difference.
    3. Celebrate Your Progress
      Track your progress, no matter how small. Write down the wins and the breakthroughs, both for your child and yourself. Reflecting on these moments will remind you of how far youā€™ve come and help you stay motivated.
    4. Be Flexible, but Consistent
      Itā€™s okay to adjust the plan if something isnā€™t working, but stick with your overall routines. Consistency provides comfort for your child and helps reinforce positive habits.
    5. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion
      Parenting a child with autism is a marathon, not a sprint. Be kind to yourself on tough days, and remember that each step, no matter how small, is progress. Youā€™re doing an incredible job!

    With each of these steps, youā€™re building a calm, structured, and joyful home. Moving forward from heartbreak to hope isnā€™t just possibleā€”itā€™s a journey youā€™re already on. Hereā€™s to more peaceful, fulfilling days ahead for you and your family! šŸŒˆ

    šŸ§Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns? šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm.šŸŒŸ

    šŸ“…Schedule a discovery callšŸ‘‰šŸ¼ Comment CALL or DM me and Iā€™ll send a link šŸ”—Ā 

    Letā€™s work together to create a structured, peaceful home where your child can thrive.šŸ“š

    Book a coaching session today and start seeing real, positive changes in your familyā€™s life! šŸ’™Ā 

    #autismandepilepsy #autismfamilyšŸ’™#autismmomšŸ˜Ž #autismchallengesšŸ§© #AutismParenting #DoctorVisitSuccess #EducatingJacob #AutismSupport #CalmParenting #askmelissa

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  • Stop trying old parenting! We Create Autism-friendly family traditions!

    We create Autism-friendly family traditions
    We Create Autism-Friendly Family Traditions @educatingjacob!

    Autism-friendly Family TraditionsĀ 

    As parents of children with autism, we know that traditional parenting methods donā€™t always work for our kids. Let’s create Autism-friendly family traditions for our children with autism. Conversations and talks alone arenā€™t enough to reach them, especially when sensory issues, speech challenges, and unique needs are in the mix. For my son Jacob, who has autism along with epilepsy and sensory sensitivities, a different approach is essential.

    In this post, weā€™ll explore how rethinking family traditions can create positive experiences for your child. Building routines and traditions that suit your childā€™s unique needs can help them feel safe, included, and joyfulā€”without the stress of typical holiday or family gatherings. Weā€™ll cover ways to create new, autism-friendly traditions that your family can embrace and enjoy, year after year.

    Stop Trying Old Parenting! Create Autism-Friendly Family Traditions That Work

    As autism parents, we all want to enjoy holidays, vacations, and traditions with our kids, just like any other family. But we know that for children on the spectrum, the change, excitement, and unpredictability of these events can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress. For my son Jacob, whose autism journey includes speech delays, sensory issues, and epilepsy, traditional celebrations werenā€™t working for him or for us. But Iā€™ve learned how to create new, autism-friendly traditions that allow him to feel safe, happy, and engaged.

    Visual Schedules: Building Predictability and Comfort

    The first step to building calm into Jacobā€™s lifeā€”and into our family lifeā€”was creating a visual schedule. This has become one of the most important tools in reducing his anxiety and giving him a sense of control over his day. Visual schedules allow Jacob to see whatā€™s coming next in his day, helping him mentally prepare for any changes.Ā How to stop stressing over Fall season changes? Autism season challenges.

    • Daily Routines First ā€“ We started by adding everyday tasks to his schedule: meals, playtime, and regular chores. By keeping the daily schedule predictable, he knew what to expect, and it gave him a safe foundation.
    • Building in Flexibility ā€“ Once Jacob was used to his daily routine, we could introduce special events like doctor visits, family gatherings, or even a visitor coming over. By adding these into his visual schedule, Jacob could see that, while something different was happening, the rest of his day would get back to his familiar routine. This preparation has been a life-saver for all of us.
    • Example: The Halloween Party ā€“ Last week, Jacob had his first Halloween party at the Autism Society Day Program. Because it was on his visual schedule, we could talk about it for weeks, helping him mentally prepare. When the day came, he enjoyed the decorations, socialized, and was thrilled to be there. He didnā€™t even care about getting candy; the excitement of the event was enough!

    The visual schedule has reduced his anxiety and allowed him to prepare for changes, making these experiences positive instead of overwhelming.

    Autism-Friendly Family Traditions: Creating New Holiday Routines

    While holidays and vacations are a joy for most families, they can be difficult for children with autism due to their unpredictable nature. But with a little planning, weā€™ve found ways to create routines around the things Jacob loves, helping him enjoy these special days with us. Hereā€™s how we approach traditions with autism-friendly routines:

    • Think About What Your Child Loves ā€“ For us, itā€™s simple activities that bring Jacob joy: grocery store trips, holiday treats, and decorating. So, we incorporate these into our traditions. For Halloween, we went to the store together and bought his favorite ghost-themed cookies and candy to donate for the party.
    • Plan Ahead and Get the Family Involved ā€“ Knowing that Jacob loves picking out his favorite treats, we include this as part of every holiday celebration. Last Halloween, we decorated the house, watched themed movies, and had fun with Halloween cookies. Now that Halloween is over, weā€™re already moving on to Christmas (yes, a little early!). We stocked up on hot cocoa, holiday cookies, and chocolate-covered Oreosā€”a little holiday splurge! By making these moments special, weā€™re creating holiday traditions that Jacob feels comfortable with and looks forward to.
    • Use the Visual Schedule for Special Events ā€“ Any time thereā€™s a holiday or event, I make sure itā€™s on Jacobā€™s visual schedule well in advance. Whether itā€™s Christmas decorations going up or a family gathering, seeing it on his schedule lets him prepare mentally and know what to expect. This simple planning step helps him feel in control and keeps his anxiety down.Ā How we plan for Halloween on Autism Island, hint Jacob ā¤ļø Superman! šŸŽƒ
      halloween-tradition-Pt-2-at-educatingjacob.com
      Jacob loves a party, he loved the Autism Society Halloween Party!

      Small Traditions That Make a Big Impact

      For Jacob, the most meaningful traditions are often the simplest ones, and itā€™s these small moments that bring him the most joy. Baking holiday cookies, sipping hot chocolate together, or decorating his room with his favorite holiday trinkets have become rituals that make him feel included. We even add these smaller activities to his schedule, giving him things to look forward to throughout the day.Ā Unlocking the Easter Joy: A Guide to Teaching Children with Autism about Easter

      • Building Traditions Around Your Childā€™s Interests ā€“ One of the most impactful things Iā€™ve learned is to build traditions around what your child loves. Jacob loves superheroes, so around Halloween, we incorporate themed treats, and for Christmas, weā€™ll add small, holiday superhero gifts or watch themed movies. Instead of large events or outings that may be overwhelming, we focus on low-key celebrations with elements he loves.
      • Preparing for Big Family Traditions ā€“ We also plan ahead for bigger holiday events by including smaller activities in the weeks leading up to them. This way, when Christmas comes around, Jacob is already in the holiday spirit and looking forward to those simple, scheduled moments. Weā€™ll talk about going to church, decorating the tree, and visiting family, all in a way that makes him excited rather than anxious.

        Tips for Autism-Friendly Holiday Planning

        1. Plan Ahead and Use Visual Schedules:
        Make sure special events, traditions, or gatherings are on the visual schedule well in advance. Talk about whatā€™s coming up, so your child can get excited and feel secure in knowing what to expect.

        2. Keep It Simple and Joyful:
        Focus on the little things that your child loves. Whether itā€™s a certain treat, decoration, or activity, building traditions around their interests brings them joy and keeps them calm.

        3. Take It at Their Pace:
        Donā€™t feel pressured to rush or pack in too many events. Enjoying a simple activity together can be just as meaningful as an elaborate tradition. This approach helps create a positive experience for the whole family.

        4. Be Consistent, But Stay Flexible:
        Every child is different, and what works one year may need adjusting the next. Stick to what brings comfort and joy, but donā€™t be afraid to try new things if theyā€™re ready for it.Ā  šŸ‘‰šŸ¼Ā Ā https://autismclassroomresources.com/5-ways-to-reduce-anxiety/?epik=dj0yJnU9a1dXRlhjUkUtejdtMUhNV0Z5Qy0zUWRWd1dnQWJURnYmcD0wJm49bVFZVUUwRG41cFhKQk85QzFBZzhmZyZ0PUFBQUFBR2NueGJn

        Creating a Calm and Joyful Family Life on Autism Island

        Autism-friendly traditions may take a bit of planning and flexibility, butĀ  for Jacob itā€™s more than worth it. For Jacob and our family, this approach has turned holidays and family events from stress-filled struggles into joyful, meaningful moments we all look forward to. By using visual schedules and creating routines around the simple things Jacob loves, weā€™re making memories that bring us closer together.

        As parents, we all want calm, joy, and connection in our homes. By adapting traditions and including your child in ways that suit them best, you can create a life filled with love and peaceā€”one holiday at a time.

        šŸ§ Struggling with daily routines and meltdowns?
        šŸŒŸ As an autism parent coach, I help you transform chaos into calm by creating strategies that work for your family. šŸŒŸ

        šŸ“… Schedule a discovery call
        šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ Visit my contact page to get started: https://educatingjacob.com/contact/

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